The D.O.D. reports that cubicle insurgency is on the rise. It is estimated that by 2020, everyone in your office will have at least 3 Nerf weapons on hand, with inter-departmental drop points where further armaments can be attained by various factions on maneuvers. Satellite footage shows that the Accounts Receivable platoon has already stockpiled a cache of foam munitions, and whispers in the war room say that they’re planning a coup against HR, though that’s nothing new.
If you want to make it in this rat-race, then gunslinger, you’d better lock and load with at least one of the 18 most awesome Nerf guns around.
Rapid Response: Fully automatic, the ECS-50 will crank out three rounds per second, without requiring that you load up and cock the gun. Slap in a magazine, and let it chatter away. 18-round banana clips provide as much ammo as you care to carry.
Zombie Strike Doominator Blaster
Cock ‘n’ Rock: Maybe one of the most fun Nerf guns on this list, the Doominator has a front handle that can be mounted straight down or on either side, which rotates in a new ammo drum when you’ve burned through one, or adds a pump-action element for Slam-Firing.
N-Strike Elite RapidStrike CS-18
No Waiting: 4 darts a second make this even faster than the Stampede listed above, though you’ll encounter a few jamming issues as a trade-off for dealing damage with such speed. Clip-like loading and a tight shoulder stock offer up accuracy and ease in a tight little body.
Quick Change: Rather than using foam darts, the Praxis loads up with green discs that enhance accuracy and carrying capacity. You can swap it from two-handed to one-handed blasting by extending or dropping the stock, depending on your style and the combat situation you find yourself in.
Elite Triad EX-3
Against the Wall: There’s a couple of Nerf weapons smaller than the Triad, but each one carries a single shot; not ideal in a no-win scenario. Keeping three darts on a rotation, with the Triad, you don’t need to adhere to the “One Shot = One Kill” rule.
Elite Mega Thunderbow Blaster
Robin Hood: Though it isn’t as big or as sleek as some of the newer Nerf bows you’ll find on the archery range, the Thunderbow combines range, accuracy, and portability in a way that would make Daryl Dixon think about ditching the cross for a longbow.
Rival Khaos MXVI-4000 Blaster
Death Dealer: The Rival line of Nerf is intended for older kids, which is why it’s ok that it pops out 40 balls in 11 seconds at 70 mph each. A motorized flywheel gives the Khaos it’s edge, and will turn the toter into a one-person army. Coming Soon
Mega Mastodon Blaster
Heavy Artillery: 6 D batteries give this a lot of heft, and nearly four feet in size give it a lot of girth; hence the shoulder strap for toting it to the battlefield. Similar to the Khaos, but not quite as heavy duty, you’ll get the standard softer Nerf darts, but a similar deadly flywheel action and automatic fire. Coming Soon
Last Resort: Here’s the tiniest addition to the Nerf line. Incredibly slim, yet surprisingly powerful, you can keep this on hand like a Derringer for supreme concealment that offers a nasty surprise. Coming Soon
N-Strike Elite Rhino-Fire Blaster
Fixed Position: Carrying around the Rhino-Fire with it’s dual 25-round drums will make you a walking target, but mount it by your basecamp and you’ll have a nasty turret that feels like a foamy 50-cal mounted in the back of survival truck.
Unity Power System
All Inclusive: Part rapid-fire, close-quarters pistol; part precision mid-range field fighter, the missile launcher is merely the super-destructive cherry on top of this deadly sundae. It takes a little practice, but experts with the Unity are forces to be reckoned with.
NStrike Elite Rampage Sonic Ice Series Blaster
Thinking Solider’s: A primer on the handle lets you prepare the Rampage for combat with ease, and the slim frame allows for easy movement, even when you add in the 35-round drum on the side. A single-shot weapon, smart Nerf veterans can make this far more dangerous than any automatic ammo-waster out there.
Rival Atlas XVI-1200 Blaster
Powerless: The Atlas uses a pump action to shoot, but it still provides the same 70 mph foam attack power that made Rival the weapon of choice for serious firefights. Lighter than its similarly-equipped, mechanized brothers, the Atlas is good for recon, but a capacity of 24 rounds makes it a solid go-to in a straight shootout. Coming Soon
Overwhelming Odds: The Swarmfire is fun to strap on as an oversized sidearm, if you don’t mind the 6 C batteries. Extend the stock, and you’ll get a whole array of steady shots to put your adversary in their place with a quickness.
Hand-Speed: The Stratobow is what every lady or lad wants when they ache for the elegance of a bow, but demand the capacity of a rifle. Clip-fed, you can whip out darts as quickly as you can pull the string and reload on the exhale. Coming Soon
N-Strike Elite Strongarm Firestrike Blasters
Side Piece: This is a dual pistol set that can’t be beat for use as a sidearm arrangement. The Strongarm has Slam-Firing capability to throwing down fast, while the smaller Firestrike easily tucks into a waistband for adding the finishing touch to an opponent.
Zombie Strike Brainsaw
Close Cropped: 8 darts fired with the pump action mechanism allow you to hit targets as they move into range – though exact aiming is impossible – but the obvious story here is handling anyone or anything that’s trying to give your brains a nibble. Coming Soon
N-Strike Elite Hyper-Fire Blaster
Seconds Count: Spray and pray is the strategy here. The quickest Nerf blaster you can put your hand to, the Hyper-Fire chews through its 25 round drum in a flat 5-seconds. Though a bit unwieldy, for a mass-shooter it’s balanced well, offering more accuracy than you’d expect.
Alien Menace Ravager
Invading Force: We’ll admit, the Ravager isn’t the finest weapon when it comes to firing, since the large head is the opposite of streamlined, and the 8-round capacity doesn’t impress much, but for style and intimidation, it’s 5 by 5. It doesn’t hurt that it’s inspired by the Halo Needler. Coming Soon
Cross Your Heart: Either a crossbow with the soul of a rifle, or the other way ‘round, the Double-Dealer is a pump-action feast of carnage. Dual 12-round magazines mounted on the sides keep you stocked with ammo and make reloading a breeze, while the lack of batteries to weigh you down is manna from heaven.