Were you to be given actual family jewels, you’d probably put them in a safe. Were those jewels also tied to your nervous and reproductive systems, to say nothing of the source for the big O, you’d probably also hire an armed guard and some laser tripwires to protect them. Yet, here we are, walking around with dangling preciousness, and all we do is wrap it in whatever dollar store knock-off boxers we found on the floor. Like savages. This must stop, and it must stop today.
There’s no reason to be wearing bad underwear. Ever. It’s not that difficult to spend $50 once a year, or even once every couple of years and stock up on some soft, comfortable, smooth, economical, ecologically sound trunks to keep your jewels on lock. When your partner goes cave diving, they’ll appreciate the packaging, and your package will be happier, drier, freer, more comfortable, and thus ready for action more often. It’s a win-win-win-sex, but only if you choose one of the dozen best underwear brands for guys.
Calvin Klein’s underwear has become the top-shelf standard for the average buyer. Klein has managed to make a recognizable brand that is equally good for puttering around, working out, or feeling frisky with your partner(s). You’ll pay for the name, but if labeling is important to you, as is quality goods with a bit of sex appeal, you really can’t find a better overall choice.
Hanes may be a standard big box store choice that many feel they’ve outgrown, but take another gander. Hanes has managed to create the ubiquitous clothing for work, play, indoors, outdoors, with days out and nights in considered. Among common “Fruit of the Loom” level manufacturers, Hanes stands out as a brand that aims high but also reaches low.
Polo Ralph Lauren Knit Boxer
The problem with most of Ralph’s kit is the cost. It’s all good, but it isn’t nearly as good as the tag seems to think it is. Except for the line of knit boxers. Though boxer men are dying by the score to make room for all the boxer-brief boys, guys who still like the space and flow of a classic should get nothing else. Let the sweet breeze and supple feel sweep you away.
The famous and infamous yoga pants designer has begun stepping away from ladies workout wear to give guys something to put their legs through. Built to act like compression shorts without the same intense level of gripping, the increased bloodflow aids activities, but also keeps a comfortable temperature. They never scratch, abrade, annoy, or irritate, even after a serious hot yoga routine.
Jockey is a fine name, though they don’t tend to strike sparks the way others do. Their standard brand is fine, and can go in your shopping cart, if you choose. What they do have is the “seamfree” line that has a greater “second skin” feel than anything else around. The look is also stellar if you’re yoked out, as these hug every sweet curve you’re carrying around.
Ultra stylish in the “black on black” way, 2XIST goes out of its way to be the “bro brand” that appeals to the finance climber that calls every waiter “Big Guy.” Don’t hold that against it. 2XIST makes exceptionally soft and smooth items that do have a special Wall Street feel which is welcome, so long as you aren’t an insufferable knob with too much product in your mane. Better, they have form shaping garments to help you look trimmer. When disrobing, women appreciate the effort and solidarity.
The elite lifestyle brand with its silk and satin choices – to say nothing of the many European cuts – is the costly choice for men who expect to be taking off their pants later. You can choose Armani gear you wear daily, but it’s a huge waste of money, and you can get better cotton comfort for cheaper. It’s when you need to impress down to the skivvies that you have a few Armani’s on hand.
The brand that seems to think it invented activewear, UA’s trunks are made with action in mind, as with most of their stuff. Mobility without limits and without causing the slightest bind during an Ironman are what the UA brand is all about. If you’re not a ride or die type of man, you will find that some of their boxers and more tame offerings are actually quite wearable. They bring the same sense of resiliency and livable breathing to the lazy man who still wants a nice pouch for his package.
Though the special delivery service isn’t as novel as it once was, MeUndies does still churn out some soft, interesting, attractive underpants. Best suited to date night, MeUndies tend to be driven by aesthetics and touchability, rather than sustainable comfort. Put these on for 8 hours in an office chair, and the smooth build will start to feel a little less than what you need.
The kangaroo pouch at the center is built in a hammock style. That doesn’t mean anything until you slip these on and realize the magic. By creating a secure hammock, all of your parts are contained, yet pleasantly spread apart rather than crammed together. The extended legs that Saxx specializes in grips for movement, so the legs never ride up into the tainted lands betwixt your thighs.
The famed “Second Skin” trunks are what really put Tommy John on the map when it comes to undergarments. The cradling that these do when you put them on offers a touch of support while the rest fades away in your mind. Literally one of the few pieces you’ll find yourself checking to make sure are on your body, these work for casual and active wear.
Jade-infused wicking nylon allows ExOfficio’s boxer briefs to stay right at your body temperature, making them feel less invasive. They maintain this level of equilibrium by moving wetness naturally to stop odors and help keep your bits and bobs drier. Mobility without bunching makes them solid for normal movement, but athletes will find the stylish brand is more about looks than leaving it all out on the field.