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121 Science Jokes That Entertain and Educate

Science jokes are a brand of humor that mixes quirky entertainment and education in near equal measure. Science jokes offer a huge array of humor options, as science is a broad term covering many topics. The funniest science jokes are those that are easy to tell and don’t require an extensive background in the sciences to understand.

Best Science Jokes
Science jokes incorporate humor about the sciences, education, teachers, and nerdy subjects

Science jokes range from general scientific figures of speech that everybody knows to more cerebral one-liners and jests. Science-based jokes offer a degree of inclusion that makes them enticing for many types of people. Kids start learning about science in school and many degree courses and careers are science-based at their core. However, science expands beyond the classroom and is deeply rooted in the cultural zeitgeist. Science jokes are a solid option, whether you’re an educator and want to tell science jokes for teachers or science jokes about students to help spread the laughs evenly throughout the room.

Jokes about science are versatile because of the many scientific fields and studies. The versatility of science gives you the room to create science jokes for kids or cringy dad science jokes with equal aplomb. Additionally, there is room for adult science jokes as well as those more specifically aimed at a single science, whether it is biology, chemistry, or physics jokes.

Unless you work as a scientist or happen to hang out at science functions, you are unlikely to get much out of only telling science jokes to people. However, sprinkling in a few microscope jokes or the odd bit of germ and antibody humor is a great way to expand your comedic range and still get a few laughs. Remember to understand your audience and know how to read a room. Science jokes can have a learning curve, so you need to accept when to hold back and when to double down and go for a few ultra-specific proton jokes.

Developing a good sense of humor and a wide repertoire of jokes requires studying many types of humor. However, the true mark of a great comedian is not how many jokes they can memorize but rather an understanding of delivery. Different types of humor deserve different treatment, and no two joke styles are delivered in the same way. For example, there are science jokes that require a deadpan delivery and others that are a play on words and stress the correct level of emphasis. Timing is key with comedy, which is never more evident than a crowd’s reaction to science jokes. Master that understanding, and you will have any audience rolling with laughter every time.

Experimenting with science jokes will result in an explosion of laughter. Below are 121 science jokes to entertain and educate.

10 funny science jokes for all occasions

Funny science jokes are general jokes or puns that intertwine scientific subjects with playful humor. Funny science jokes have a lot of scope, given that science includes a wide breadth of topics and styles. Science jokes don’t need to be clever in order to be funny. The funniest science jokes rely on simplicity and are understood by people of all science backgrounds and skill levels. The simplicity of funny science jokes is what makes them so hilarious.

Below are 10 hilariously funny science jokes for all occasions.

1. What did one tectonic plate say when it banged into another?
Oops, that was my fault!


2. What kind of tree can be placed into your hand?
A palm tree.


3. Why are chemists excellent problem solvers?
They have all the solutions.


4. What did one cell tell his sister cell when she stepped on his foot?
Watch what you’re doing, that’s mitosis.


5. What’s a physicist’s favorite book genre?
Friction.


6. What’s the most terrifying word in all of nuclear physics?
Oops.


7. Mary had a little lamb, but she doesn’t any more.
For what she thought was H2O was H2SO4.


8. Two kittens are on a roof. Which one falls off first?
The one with the lowest mew.


9. I used to know a lot of science jokes, but now they argon.


10. A mathematician, physicist, and chemist go on vacation together.
They take separate rooms at the hotel.
The mathematician can’t sleep, so he goes to his balcony and looks into the chemist’s room.
A fire breaks out in the chemist’s room, and the mathematician panics.
He then sees the chemist wake up calmly, and create a solution from the ingredients he could find, and make a fire extinguisher, then went calmly to bed.
The mathematician is relieved; however, he then looks into the physicist’s room.
A fire breaks out in that room, and the mathematician panics as well. The physicist calmly wakes up and knows that fire needs oxygen to ‘feed on’ and then proceeds to cover it with a thick blanket.
He returns to bed calmly, and the mathematician is relieved.
A fire then breaks into the mathematician’s room, who panics at first, then remembers that there are multiple solutions to the problem, then calmly goes back to bed.

4 classic science jokes for teachers

Science jokes for teachers are school-appropriate quips that are a great way for educators to connect with their students. Science jokes for teachers are set apart from other types of jokes because the punchlines all serve as a learning opportunity. Nobody is going to pass their exams based on what they learn from science jokes for teachers, but a funny teacher that uses humor gets the class’s attention and makes the transfer of knowledge that much more likely.

Below are four classic science jokes for teachers that every class will enjoy.

11. What famous detective was also a physicist?
Sherlock Ohms!


12. Why is it so hard to wake up in the morning?
Because Newton’s first law states that a body at rest wants to stay at rest.


13. What did the positive charge say to the negative charge after their date?
We have potential!


14. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

3 hilarious jokes about science students

Jokes about science students involve making jokes about science students. Science student jokes are outliers within comedy, but the few jokes that exist have a high probability of achieving desired results. Science humor is usually used to engage with students, not to ridicule them. Jokes about science students are those niche jokes that are useful to have in your arsenal for use when you find yourself in the right situation. Nobody is ever going to build an entire joke routine around science student jokes, but pepper them into the right group situations, and they will always be memorable.

Below are 3 hilarious jokes about science students.

15. Where do chemistry students eat their lunch?
At the periodic table!


16. My chemistry teacher threw salt at a kid who didn’t turn in his homework.
Wow, what happened then?
He was arrested for a salt!


17. My lab partner died during class today.
Oh my god, what happened?
I don’t know, we were doing our experiments, and he asked me which glass was his mineral water, and that was it.

3 eye-wateringly funny jokes about scientist types

Jokes about scientist types refer to jokes about engineers, doctors, or other science-related fields. Jokes about scientist types and their careers are few and far between. Many people view scientists as serious characters; however, as evidenced in all of the funny jokes about scientists, they are just as prone to jokes as the rest of us. Funny jokes about scientist types play on different aspects, from their personality to their career and the labs they work in.

Below are 3 eye-wateringly funny jokes about a scientist.

18. A statistician’s wife had twins, and he was delighted. He rang their minister, who was also delighted. “Bring them to church on Sunday, and we’ll baptize them,” said the minister.
“No,” replied the statistician. “Baptize one. We’ll keep the other as a control.”


19. The optimist sees a glass as half full.
The pessimist sees it as half empty.
The engineer sees a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.


20. You enter the high school lab and see an experiment. How will you know which class it is?
If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
When it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

6 science dad jokes to make your eyes roll

Science dad jokes are on-the nose puns and witticisms about science. Dad jokes are eye-rolling affairs that gain a few chuckles but are more famous for their cheesiness than the number of side stitches they deliver. Science dad jokes are no different and are simple jokes that deliver a groan-worthy punchline and a lingering memory that leads you to re-tell them at any opportunity. Science dad jokes are a recessive form of humor that will develop in few people but is appreciated by dads around the world.

Below are 6 terrible but unforgettable science dad jokes.

21. What do you call a FISH with no eyes?
A FSH.


22. What kind of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy.


23. What is a tornado’s favorite classic party game?
Twister.


24. Do you need a lot of space to grow fungi?
Well, you need as mushroom as possible!


25. How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.


26. What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
Aaaaargon.

5 simple science jokes for kids

Science jokes for kids are funny kid-appropriate quips about science that serve a double purpose. Not only do science jokes for kids bring a good laugh, but they help get kids interested in science. One of the key things behind successful science jokes for kids is the little piece of knowledge the punchline delivers. Jokes for kids about science are a great tool for increasing youth interest in an area they often overlook, whether it is a fascinating fact or an interesting tidbit of information.

Below are 5 simple yet memorable science jokes for kids.

27. What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife?
I lava you.


28. Why is it bad to trust atoms?
They make up everything!


29. Why did Mickey Mouse decide to go to space?
To see Pluto!


30. Why did the biologist party in a mushroom?
Because he was a real fungi!


31. How can you best identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark!

7 truly terrible bad science jokes

Bad science jokes take that one final step that dad science jokes do not. Bad science jokes are so bad you feel guilty for chuckling at them. However, that is the point. Bad science jokes are often best delivered in a deadpan or dry humor style, and have the potential to crack up a room quicker than any other. Just make sure that before you try your hand at bad humor, you have your delivery spot on because otherwise, things have a tendency to fall flat.

Below are 7 terrible but funny bad science jokes.

32. I read a book on helium last night. I couldn’t put it down.


33. A meteorologist was tasked with weighing and measuring the rainbows.
Turns out they are pretty light.


34. Why is the ocean so salty?
Because land never waves back at it!


35. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Wait for it to take off its genes!


36. Why did the photon not need to take a suitcase on holiday?
Because it was traveling light!


37. Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist?
Because you will get Jurasskicked.


38. How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space?
On flying saucers!

5 nerd jokes for ‌true science geeks

Nerd jokes are a subject of comedy that centers around nerd culture beyond strictly science. The movie Revenge of the Nerds is a testament to the power of nerd jokes. However, when you add in the science component, you narrow down the nerd joke options but double up on the power of the punchlines. Nerd jokes are not intended to offend or cause intentional upset. Rather, nerd jokes offer a lighthearted look at the more complex science jokes that only the truly knowledgeable will understand. Additionally, this means that your target audience for nerd jokes is equally specific. Something to bear in mind when regaling others with this type of humor.

Below are 5 great nerd jokes to entertain the true geeks in your life.

39. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, what would that make them?
Alloys.


40. A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously, he drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterward wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”


41. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.


42. A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”


43. Did you hear about the two red blood cells that campaigned for fairer oxygenation rates?
It was all in-vein.

4 amazing mad scientist jokes that will entertain anyone

Mad scientist jokes are a homage to the chaotically insane inventors, scientists, and chemists of pop-culture. The mad scientist is a long-ridiculed figure throughout comedy. Mad scientists cut imposing figures in literature or as arch-villains. However, in the comedy world, they are a veritable gold mind. Adding a few mad scientist jokes into your repertoire is never a bad idea, especially as they are perfect for any number of situations.

Below are 4 amazing mad scientist jokes that always get a chuckle.

44. I was kidnapped by a mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.
I managed to escape, but if I ever see him again, I’ll tear him apart with my bear hands.


45. Why do mad scientists and mathematicians get along so well?
One tests the limits of their patients, and the other’s limits test their patience.


46. Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?
Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.


47. Villager 1: Run for your lives! A mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that’s destroying everything in its path!
Villager 2: Meh, why bother? We were doomed from the gecko.

5 golden lab jokes that always deliver

Lab jokes are comedic commentary on laboratories that offer a wide range of joke styles, from the location to the equipment. However, lab jokes are a highly niche style of joke and really only need to be broken out under very specific circumstances. Adding a few lab jokes to your joke store is a good idea, but don’t think about relying on them to do the heavy lifting.

Below are 5 golden examples of fantastic lab jokes that always deliver.

48. What is the smartest piece of lab equipment?
A graduated cylinder.


49. What kind of pants does Jesse Pinkman wear under his lab coat?
Science Britches!


50. Apparently, the FDA is okay with lab-grown meat
Poodle-grown meat, however, is still off the menu.


51. Why did the DJ lose his job at the laboratory?
He kept dropping the base.


52. Dogs are the best. I have a lab.
It’s a meth lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.

5 entertaining microscope jokes that deliver

Microscope jokes are a type of science humor that goes to an ultra-specific level. However, microscope jokes hold up well and deliver a funny punchline to any science-based joke set. Given the highly granular nature of microscope jokes, it’s not advisable to use them in any situation other than when you are surrounded by science aficionados. The odd joke might get a laugh, but if you want to fire off a few microscope jokes, you need to pick your moments and your audience.

Below are 5 entertaining microscope jokes that always deliver a laugh.

53. Why did the germs cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.


54. Microscopes are amazing things.
They really teach you to enjoy the little things in life.


55. Man: Hey, sir! Could I interest you in a microscope?
Customer: No, thanks, I’d have no use.
Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!
Customer: I can’t read this; it’s too small!
Man: Boy, have I got the product for you!


56. Have you ever tried looking at a penny under a microscope?
It’s just magnificent!


57. What’s the difference between John Cena and an amoeba?
You can see an amoeba under a microscope.

5 awesome jokes about biology

Jokes about biology are a type of comedy with the potential to radiate positive energy and spread happiness. Biology jokes have a large scope, including plenty of crude jokes that are for adult ears only. Luckily, there are also plenty of general jokes about biology that are suitable for all ages. Biology has many offshoots, from genetics to more natural topics, and as such the range of potential jokes is vast. Many jokes about biology are straightforward and perfect for any age and any occasion.

Below are 5 awesome jokes about biology guaranteed to crack a few smiles.

58. Why do plants hate algebra?
It gives them square roots.


59. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.


60. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
They had no chemistry.


61. What do biologists post on Instagram?
Cell-fies.


62. Why did the scuba diver fail biology?
Because he never got his grades above “C” level.

4 antibody jokes that prove laughter is the best medicine

Antibody jokes are jokes about protective proteins, antigens, and immunizations. Antibody jokes have been a popular subject since the Covid-19 pandemic, and antibodies have become a far more commonplace word. With the use of the word antibody rising, a rush of antibody jokes went into rotation and now exist among many humor styles.

Below are four entertaining examples of antibody jokes that prove laughter really is the best medicine.

63. What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
Is there antibody out there?


64. How come anteaters never get sick?
Because they’re always eating little antibodies.


65. So I tested positive for covid antibodies.
My dad wanted to know about my uncle-bodies.


66. Body positivity is great, but I’m sick and would rather have antibodies.

5 germ jokes that you’ll be happy to spread

Germ jokes are humorous anecdotes about the infectious spread of germs. Humor is a great healer, and germ jokes are exactly the sort of joke you want to hear whether you’re feeling under the weather or not. There are a great variety of germ jokes, from puns and witty wordplay to borderline dad jokes that will make even the stoniest of characters crack a grin.

Below are 5 fantastic germ jokes that deserve to be spread.

67. Did you hear the joke about the germ?
Actually, never mind. I don’t want to spread it around.


68. What will never go viral, no matter how popular they get?
Antibiotics.


69. A Germ walks into a bar. The bartender notices and says, “Hey, you’re a germ! You’re not allowed in here!”
“But I work here,” says the germ, “I’m staph.”


70. They say money is covered in germs, but I don’t think even germs could live on the money I make.


71. What is Colgate Sensitive supposed to do if Colgate kills 99.9% of germs?
It kills 99.9% of them without hurting their feelings.

3 clever medical science jokes to crack you up

Medical science jokes are humorous commentaries and witticisms about the medical-industrial complex and medical professionals. Medical science jokes have come a long way in recent years. As cultural understanding of the medical science industry spreads, so too does the number of jokes in that genre. There are by no means as many medical science jokes as there are other, more generic science field jokes, but the needle is slowly turning.

Below are 3 clever medical science jokes to add to your routine that never fails to crack up the crowd.

72. Medical science still does not have a cure for premature ejaculation.
But researchers say it’s coming quickly.


73. Nowadays, there’s a pill for everything. Pills to keep your nose from running, to keep you regular, to keep your heart beating, to keep your hair from falling out. Why, thanks to advances in medical science, every day, people are dying who never looked better.


74. A man goes to the doctor to see if there is anything he can do to make his penis larger. After a thorough examination, the doctor says that there’s nothing medical science can do for him; however, there’s an old country remedy that he could try. “Just rub lard on it every day, and in a couple of weeks you should see some result.”
Two weeks go by, and the man goes back to the doctor. “Some doctor you are! I rubbed Crisco on it every day, and if anything, my penis is even smaller!”
“You fool,” cried the doctor, “I said use LARD, not Shortening!”

4 computer science jokes to tickle you pink

Computer science jokes are technological quips that are sure to generate laughter and have earned their place among the ranks of science-related humor. Science is the pursuit of knowledge in the natural and social world. Computers play an ever-increasing role in modern science, and as such, computer science jokes are also on the rise.

Below are 4 computer science jokes that will have you chuckling for the rest of the day.

75. The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


76. I started a band in high school.
Really, what were you called?
999mb, but we never had a gig.


77. What do programmers and cats have in common?
When either one is unusually excited, an appropriate question is “Did you find a bug?”


78. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because it’s a hardware problem.

5 data science jokes to tell again and again

Data science jokes take a subject many people find too boring to consider and make it approachable. Data science jokes make an intimidating subject accessible. Additionally, there is something to be learned from data science jokes; whether you get the punchline or need it explained, there is knowledge to be gleaned from data science humor.

Below are 5 data science jokes that are perfect to tell again and again.

79. There are two kinds of data scientists.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data…


80. The data science motto:
If at first, you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.


81. There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.


82. Three statisticians went out hunting and came across a large deer.
The first statistician fired but missed by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fired but also missed by a meter to the right.
The third statistician didn’t fire but shouted in triumph, “On average, we got it!”


83. Why did the programmer quit their job?
Because they didn’t get arrays.

5 science jokes about chemistry to help you laugh and learn

Chemistry jokes are a form of humor as multiple as the elements in the periodic table and with a half-life equal to the most radioactive elements discovered. Chemistry jokes are both witty and basic, yet they deal with a highly complex subject. The joy of humor is that it makes light or serious subjects, and in the case of chemistry jokes, it makes the subject far more approachable and less daunting.

Below are 5 amazing science jokes about chemistry that will have you laughing and learning simultaneously.

84. Want to hear a Potassium joke?
K.


85. I was going to tell people a joke about sodium, but then I thought to myself, Na, nobody will understand it.


86. Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
They were a formyl group.


87. Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.


88. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met.

4 jokes about oxygen to take your breath away

Jokes about oxygen are an oxymoron that are often so funny they take your breath away. Oxygen is vital for us humans to live, and that makes it the perfect target for science jokes. Oxygen plays many functions in our bodies and in the world around us. Taking the seriousness of oxygen and making a series of jokes about it is the natural progression for all things in a comedian’s mind.

Below are 4 examples of excellent jokes about oxygen that will have you laughing so hard you might forget to breathe.

89. Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg.


90. I have an oxygen addiction.
I tried to stop yesterday, but after a minute, I started feeling blue.


91. My blood sometimes, for no reason at all, decides not to carry enough oxygen.
I have fickle cell anemia.


92. What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they invited it round to play?
NaBrO.

5 clever physics jokes you can’t help but find amusing

Physics jokes involve reactive particles of humor and science that are a mixed bag when it comes to what they offer. The good news is that telling clever physics jokes doesn’t require a degree. Most physics jokes use the basic level of understanding taught in high school, making them an accessible humor style for most gatherings and situations.

Below are 5 clever physics jokes people can’t help but find amusing.

93. Where do they send criminal light?
Prism!


94. Two physicists walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.


95. Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?
Because that’s where students have the most potential.


96. Einstein developed a theory about space.
And it was about time, too.


97. Sometimes physics can be a real bummer.
I was thinking about gravity yesterday, and it really brought me down.

4 electron jokes that are charged for maximum fun

Election jokes are not as negative as many would expect. All electron jokes pack a punch and will leave you charged for maximum laughter. Creating jokes around something as small as an electron is not easy and takes a great deal of skill from the comedian. Electron jokes are few and far between. The majority of them are regurgitations of the same joke in different locations.

Below are 4 different but entertaining electron jokes.

98. If you buy one proton and one electron, then you get a proton free of charge!


99. Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says,
“Oh, no! I think I lost an electron!”
The other responds, “Are you sure?!?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”


100. What did one electron say to the other electron?
Don’t get excited. You’ll only get into a state!


101. What happens when electrons lose their energy?
They get Bohr’ed.

4 positively hilarious examples of a proton joke

Proton jokes are always positive and upbeat; they have to be. One of the smallest particles you’ll learn about in school, proton jokes are guaranteed to turn any frown upside down. However, if it doesn’t, then it’s probably an electron joke! Proton jokes are well suited for carrying a message of positivity, and it is not surprising that this is the direction most proton jokes take.

Below are 4 amazing proton jokes that will make any day more positive.

102. The proton is not speaking to the other proton; he’s a mad atom!


103. What do protons and life coaches have in common?
They know how to stay positive!


104. Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect-ron


105. Two protons walk into a bar…
And see three electrons in a corner. One turns to the other and says they should leave.
The other asks him why, and he says, “I don’t like them; they always turn everything so negative.”

3 cracking earth science jokes

Good earth science jokes also convey an element of education. Telling earth science jokes takes a special skill because you need to understand the joke yourself in order to nail the punchline delivery. When moving into the realms of science jokes and more intellectually driven humor, it’s easy to fall flat, so always make sure you prepare your jokes in advance while also making sure they feel natural when used.

Below are 3 cracking earth science jokes people will love.

106. What’s a geologist’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”


107. What did ‌Earth say to the other planets when they annoyed it?
You guys need to get a life!


108. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

7 great STEM jokes that cover all the bases

STEM jokes are a generic form of science-based jokes. As a term, STEM refers to science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. STEM jokes do not focus on one single subject but rather offer a range of jokes and joke styles guaranteed to make people chuckle. STEM jokes are a great place to start if you’re contemplating adding some science jokes to your arsenal.

Below are 7 great stem jokes that cover all the bases.

109. Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?
They read the reviews – just one star!


110. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?
They’re allowed to wear genes to work.


111. Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
It’s a little meteor.


112. How do you know that atoms are Catholic?
They have mass.


113. What fruit contains twice as much sodium as it does barium?
BaNaNa.


114. Why does electricity often work for an orchestra?
Because it’s a great conductor.


115. There’s a new theory on inertia being proposed, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

6 spicy adult science jokes for late-night giggles

Adult science jokes are a mature take on science jokes that is a must-have for anybody that likes telling jokes at parties and other gatherings. Almost all subjects have their share of naughty adult jokes, and adult jokes about the sciences are no different. One thing about adult science jokes is that they don’t always need to be crude or vulgar. Sometimes, even adult-themed jokes can have a near dad-like quality to them.

Below are 6 incredibly spicy adult science jokes perfect for delivering late-night giggles.

116. Scientists have discovered two things in the air that are directly responsible for increased rates of pregnancy in women.
Their legs.


117. Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says, “I think I’ll have an H2O.”
The second one says, “I think I’ll have an H2O too,” — and he dies.


118. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”


119. The doctor tells a woman that she has only six months to live. He advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo. The woman asks, “Will this cure my illness?”
“No,” replies the doctor, “but it will make six months seem like a very long time.”


120. After sex, one behaviorist turned to another behaviorist and said, “That was great for you, but how was it for me?”


121. What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
“From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.”