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99 Dinosaur Jokes: Uproarious Gags for Kids of All Ages

Dinosaur jokes capture everything we love about these beasts from the past and wrap it up in an entertaining package. Dinosaur jokes hold a universal appeal for kids of all ages, as dinos remain a highly visible part of young people’s lives despite being extinct. The best dinosaur jokes add an air of the fantastic to an entire range of creatures that are already mind-boggling.

Best dinosaur jokes
Dinosaur jokes captivate and entertain audiences of all ages

Dinosaur jokes seem like a niche segment. However, everybody knows about dinosaurs, and everybody has a favorite dinosaur, even if they’re not ready to admit it. This wide-ranging level of relatability, coupled with the sheer number of dinosaurs, makes dino jokes a rich landscape full of humorous potential.

Dad jokes about dinosaurs are some of the classic examples, thanks to the frequent use of puns in dino humor. Funny dinosaur jokes hold a special appeal to kids, and that sets the foundation from which all resulting dino comedy rises. The juvenile framework holds firm whether you are making jokes about the T-rex or stegosaurus, or spinning a comedic yarn for some adult-based dino humor.

Dinosaur jokes have a common cadence that relies on a combination of puns and absurdity. A combination that helps make dinosaur jokes quick to process and easy to remember. 

Below are 99 of the funniest dinosaur jokes to lighten the mood and entertain an audience of any age. 

59 Best dino jokes

The best dino jokes are relatable, easy to remember, and don’t require a paleontology degree to understand. Kids love dinosaurs, but these fascinating creatures are quite literally bigger than young minds could fathom. The funniest dino jokes are loved because they are easy to understand and deliver a sharp punchline that even the youngest members of your audience find hilarious. These dino jokes include everything from clever quips and puns to absurd situations and crazy shenanigans.

Below are fifty-nine of the best dino jokes to keep people laughing for another 65 million years.

List of the best dinosaur jokes
Best dinosaur jokes

1. Why did the archaeopteryx catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!

2. Scientists recently discovered a new dinosaur that could possibly mimic human speech…
They named it thesaurus!

3. What were the dinosaur’s last words?
“Wow, these don’t look like shooting stars. ”

4. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork!

5. Do you know how long dinosaurs lived?
The same as short ones.

6. Why do museums exhibit old dinosaur bones?
Because they can’t afford new ones!

7. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

8. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!

9. Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy piece of meat.” Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears before him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. “I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!” Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks even harder than the previous dinosaurs. “I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”

10. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long, sharp teeth and 12 claws on each foot?
Whatever it wants you to call it.

11. What do you call a dinosaur that refuses to have a bath?
A stink-o-saurus.

12. What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?

13. What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?
Lazy bones.

14. Why did carnivorous dinosaurs always eat raw meat?
Because they hadn’t learned how to barbeque!

15. What comes after extinction?

16. What should you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
Move out of the way!

17. What do you call a group of dinosaurs singing?
A tyranno-chorus.

18. What’s a dinosaur’s favorite turn of phrase?
“Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures!”

19. What came after the dinosaur?
Its tail.

20. What did the dinosaur carpenter use to build his house?
A dino-saw.

21. What does a dinosaur call a porcupine?
A toothbrush.

22. How did dinosaurs excavate caves?
With dinomite!

23. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

24. What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?

25. Can you name ten dinosaurs in ten seconds?
Yes, one triceratops and nine velociraptors.

26. What do you call a smelly dinosaur fart?
An exstinktion!

27. What do you call a dinosaur that fell down and hurt his leg?

28. What do you call a dog that belongs to a dinosaur with one eye?
Do-you-think-he-saurus rex.

29. Why did the tyrannosaurus paint her toenails red?
So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

30. Which is the scariest dinosaur?

31. What do you call a dinosaur that never wants to do anything?
A dino-bore!

32. Can a crappy dinosaur pun still manage to get a laugh?
You bet Jurassican!

33. What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
The dinosorcerer.

34. Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
To become ex-stinked!

35. What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
Two dinosaurs!

36. Where do prehistoric reptiles prefer to go on vacation?
The dino-shore.

37. Why did the apatosaurus devour the factory?
Because she was a plant-eater.

38. Why are dinosaurs never overweight?
They’re surrounded by scales.

39. What did the dinosaur say to the cashier at the till?
Keep the climate change.

40. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

41. One dinosaur said, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Another dinosaur said, “A non-renewable recourse!”

42. Why do we write T-Rex instead of tyrannosaurus rex?
Because T rex’s prefer things in shorthand.

43. What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy?
You got a friend in me.

44. Which dinosaur had to wear glasses?
Tyrannosaurus specs!

45. I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex.
He is a small arms dealer!

46. What was the name of the fastest dinosaur?
The PRONTOsaurus!

47. What do you call a dinosaur who was first afraid and then petrified?
A Diana Ross-asaurus!

48. Why did the two fossilized dinosaurs update their relationship status on Facebook?
Because they were carbon dating!

Dinosaur birthday jokes

Dinosaur birthday jokes are the things that make kids’ dreams come true. Any growing child with an affinity for the large reptiles will love to hear a string of dinosaur jokes on their birthday. Birthdays are all about having fun (especially for kids), and what better way to kick-start proceedings than with some dino humor. Whether it’s a verbal joke, a message in a card, or a slogan on your new pajamas, it doesn’t matter because dinosaur jokes are what birthday wishes are made from.

Below are three quality dinosaur birthday jokes guaranteed to get the good times rolling.

49. Where did the dino-dad buy his son’s birthday presents?
At the dino-store!

50. Where do you buy a birthday gift for a dinosaur?
At Toy-Sau-Rus!

51. What did the dinosaur say after he bumped the clown?

Dinosaur dad jokes

Dinosaur dad jokes are the pinnacle of cheesy dino humor. The Jurassic period might have been the last time dad jokes were actually funny, but dinosaur dad jokes are those classic comedic quips that are so bad you can’t help but offer a titter in spite of yourself. Dino dad jokes are ridiculously moreish, and once you’ve told a few, the rest just come to you. It’s the way of the dad joke, and there is no fighting it.

Below are five tremendous dinosaur dad jokes that will have your eyes rolling in embarrassed delight.

Best dinosaur dad jokes
Best dinosaur dad jokes

52. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes?
A dino-sewer.

53. How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your refrigerator?
The door won’t shut!

54. What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A stegosaurus on roller skates!

55. What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A dinosaur’s shadow!

56. What did the caveman say as he slid down the diplodocus’ neck?
So long!

Dinosaur knock-knock jokes

Dinosaur knock-knock jokes are a must-have part of any comedic repertoire. Knock-knock jokes about dinosaurs are never going to win you any awards, but they’re certain to get a giggle out of the right group. You know what you are getting with dinosaur knock-knock jokes. The tried and tested formula remains the same, making knock-knock jokes some of the easiest to adapt to any niche.

Below are three dino knock-knock jokes that never fail to give folks the giggles.

57. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don’t go who. They go ROAR!

58. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Terry who?
Terry Dactyl!

59. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dinosaurp who?
Ew, you said dinosaur poo!

35 Funny jokes about dinosaurs

Funny dinosaur jokes are childish and often rely on puns or farcical suggestions. The more we learn about dinosaurs, the more we realize that we will never know everything about these fascinating creatures. Everything about dinos is speculation, which makes funny jokes about dinosaurs all the more entertaining. Funny jokes about dinosaurs make us laugh because we are able to imagine the punchline being fact, regardless of how ludicrous it sounds.

Below are thirty-five funny jokes about dinosaurs to make you roar with laughter.

Best jokes about dinosaurs
Best jokes about dinosaurs

60. How do you invite a dinosaur in for a drink?
Tea, rex?

61. What kind of dinosaurs make good police officers?

62. Why can’t we study the change of velociraptors over time?
Because then it would be an acceloraptor.

63. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

64. What do you call a dinosaur who is a noisy sleeper?
A tyrano-snorus!

65. What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus tex!

66. What do you call a man who puts their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?

67. Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns?
I dino what to say, but doubt it.

68. What should you do if you find a blue dilophosaurus?
Try to cheer him up!

69. How many dinosaurs can you fit in an empty box?
One, after that, the box isn’t empty.

70. What kind of dinosaur is made of cheese?

71. What do you call a dinosaur after they break up with their girlfriend?
Tyrannosaurus ex.

72. What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?

73. Why does the brontosaurus have a long neck?
Because its feet smell.

74. What do you call a velociraptor who hates losing?
A saur loser.

75. What’s the one type of dinosaur you never want to ride?
A bronco-saurus!

76. What do you call a triceratops with carrots in its ears?
Anything you like, it can’t hear you!

77. Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce, and the judge offered Baby
Raptor the choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: “Do you want to live with your mother?”
BABY RAPTOR: “No! She beats me.”
JUDGE: “OK, then you can live with your father.”
BABY RAPTOR: “No! He beats me, too!”
JUDGE: “Well, you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?”
BABY RAPTOR: “I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto.”
JUDGE: “Is there any chance she’ll beat you also?”
BABY RAPTOR: “No, sir. The Toronto Raptors don’t beat anybody.”

T-rex jokes

T-rex jokes are the premier form of specific dinosaur humor. No creature was more terrifying sixty million years ago than the T-rex, the king of the lizards. These days, there’s nothing funnier than a set of T-rex jokes. The tyrannosaurus rex was a fearsome creature. However, the best T-rex jokes are often short and sweet. Given their stature, most funny jokes about dinosaurs that involve the t-rex use them as the subject rather than part of the punchline.

Below are three T-rex jokes to make you the king of dinosaur comedy.

78. Why wouldn’t the T-Rex get out of bed?
He was still dino-snoring!

79. Why can’t the T-rex clap its hands?
Because it’s extinct!

80. Why did the tyrannosaurus rex cross the road?
Because the chickens hadn’t evolved yet.

Triceratops jokes

The best jokes involving a triceratops are puns. Making fun of triceratops and their name is easy because they are extinct, and we don’t need to worry about insulting them. However, the jokes made at the triceratops’ expense are as majestic as the ancient beast itself. 

Below are three of the best triceratops jokes to bring a smile to everybody in the room.

81. What did the dinosaur call her blouse business?
Try Sara’s Tops!

82. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

83. What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom.

Pterodactyl jokes

Pterodactyl humor is perfect for kids and those still young at heart. The giant winged creatures are instantly recognizable and are some of the first dinosaurs we learn about when young. The pterodactyl is undeniably terrifying, but jokes about pterodactyls are light and often the result of clever punning that makes them soar above the rest of dino jokes. 

Below are three pterodactyl jokes that always deliver a laugh.

84. What do you call twin dinosaurs?

85. What do you call a dinosaur ghost?
A scaredactyl.

86. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?
Because the pee is silent!

Velociraptor jokes

Velociraptor jokes are a niche branch of dinosaur humor that frequently relies on witty wordplay in order to deliver a laugh. The velociraptor is the dinosaur we all know and love from the film Jurassic Park. Which incarnation depends on your age, but jokes about velociraptors are great for kids and adults alike and never fail to hit the mark with fellow dino enthusiasts.

Below are three chuckle-worthy velociraptor jokes.

87. What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor?

88. What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
A philosiraptor.

89. A T-Rex and a velociraptor are sitting at the bar.
The velociraptor points to a triceratops in the corner and says, “Why is he getting served first?”
The T-Rex says, “Because he was herbivorous.”

Stegosaurus jokes

Stegosaurus jokes deliver laughs at the expense of everybody’s favorite spiked armor-plated dinosaur. Thanks to the Land Before Time movie, the stegosaurus is widely pictured among casual dinosaur fans as being the dopey eating machine. Jokes about the stegosaurus are simple and entertaining and never carry direct malice or ill-intent. The best stegosaurus jokes are there to entertain as much as their subject matter amazes.

Below are three funny stegosaurus jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle.

90. What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor plates out in the rain?
A stegosaur-rust!

91. Why was the stegosaurus so good at volleyball?
Because it could really spike the ball!

92. How do you know that a stegosaurus is under your bed?
Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!

Barney the Dinosaur jokes

Barney the Dinosaur jokes appeal to those whose formative years were in the 1990s. Adults who grew up in the 90s were regularly subjected to the purple and green dinosaur and have developed a particular and unlikely affinity with him. The best Barney the Dinosaur jokes convey both the enjoyment and hatred of the character who continues to divide public opinion to this day.

Below are the two best Barney the Dinosaur jokes.

93. What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
Barney in an elevator.

94. In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.
Now, eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.
Next, let’s refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.
When we add it all up, we get 50+5+50+5+50+500+1+5=666.
And there you have it. Mathematical proof that Barney the Dinosaur is Satan.

5 Dinosaur jokes for adults

Dinosaur jokes for adults capture everything that is great about dinosaurs and mix them with themes better suited to older ears. Dinosaurs hold the same mythological appeal to adults as they do children, and as such, adult dinosaur humor is rarely complex in its structure. Adult dino jokes are not rude, they just deliver punchlines that have a little more weight and bearing on real-world relatability that only adults are able to appreciate.

Below are five examples of funny dinosaur jokes for adults.

Best dinosaur jokes for adults
Best dinosaur jokes for adults

95. What’s a dinosaur’s favorite cocktail?
Rex on the beach!

96. What do you call an anxious dino?
A nervous rex.

97. What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom?
All of them, they’re all dead.

98. How did social distancing keep cavemen safe from dinosaurs?
They stayed about 56 million years away from one another.

99. What does the average male have in common with a velociraptor?
They both have a six-inch retractable claw.

Why are dinosaur jokes funny?

Dinosaur jokes are funny because dinosaurs are fascinating creatures that hold a near-magical appeal to children and adults alike. Funny jokes about dinosaurs work because they take large, scary creatures and make them into the butt of the joke, stripping them of their terrifying qualities yet helping them retain the wonder.

The majority of dinosaur jokes are funny to children, as they have a simplistic quality to them, and dinosaurs are a subject that all kids know about and can relate to while accepting that they know very little about them. A wide-ranging understanding coupled with a lack of true knowledge adds an extra edge of possibility to any jokes, making them all the funnier.

Why do kids love dinosaurs?

Kids love dinosaurs because they are big and scary and completely unlike anything that they know to be true in their world. Dinosaurs hold an air of mystery and majesty that captivates the hearts and minds of children. We introduce children to dinosaurs at a young age and at a time when the world around them is already full of wonder. By introducing dinosaurs to kids we teach them about something mythological and beyond their comprehension, which fascinates them and their naturally curious minds.

Why do adults still love dinosaur jokes?

Adults still love dinosaur jokes because dinosaurs still hold the same seismic appeal to us as they did when we were children. The size, power, and general concept of dinosaurs captivates us as adults much the same as it did in our youth. Only now, we have the ability to conceptualize just how imposing these beasts were. Adults still find dinosaur jokes funny because of their underlying interest in them as creatures. However, people who dislike or have no interest in dinosaurs are less likely to find jokes about them funny.

What are some of the most unusual dinosaurs?

Below are ten of the most unusual dinosaurs that ever roamed the earth.

  • Longisquama
  • Incisivosaurus
  • Sharovipteryx
  • Helicoprion
  • Nigersaurus
  • Amargasaurus
  • Parasaurolophus
  • Carnotaurus
  • Concavenator
  • Kosmoceratops

What Dinosaur had 500 teeth?

The nigersaurus had 500 teeth, according to paleontologists. The nigeraurus is so named as it was first discovered in the country of Niger, West Africa. The nigersaurus not only had hundreds of teeth but would replace them every fourteen days.