Humor knows no single style, and “what do you call” jokes are but another notch in the belt of any true comedian. “What do you call” jokes are one of the earliest humor styles we encounter as children and consequently where the target audience for funny “what do you call” jokes remains. Those with an adventurous heart tell dirty or rude “what do you call” jokes, but the quips by and large remain on the childish side of the humor spectrum.
The traditional approach to telling good “what do you call” jokes is to focus on a single target for each joke. Common examples would be what do you call a man jokes or what do you call a woman jokes. Jokes of this nature are simple to remember and have a wide scope for different scenarios and humorous pun-driven punchlines. What-do-you-call jokes rely on puns with the incorporation of puns being a great way to entertain children while also teaching them about the intricacies of the English language. Manipulating words into puns also serves as a vital step in developing a sense of humor.
Some types of comedy are not designed to be everlasting but rather serve as stepping stones on a never-ending journey. “What do you call” jokes are encountered early in the development of our sense of humor. The decidedly youthful slant on the majority of “what do you call” jokes is evident in the abundance of cute and silly “what do you call” animal jokes. Such jokes echo around the schoolyards and canteens the world over, leaving a lasting mark that sees us retelling them as we age—resulting in the perfect go-to device for a short sharp dose of old-fashioned humor. Of course, should you so wish, the opportunities are there to make your own dark “what do you call” jokes, but be mindful of your audience and make sure the time is right.
The true mark of any comedian is timing. Anybody can tell a joke they’ve heard, but only someone with an understanding of the subtle nuances of timing and delivery style can tell a joke well. The importance of comedic knowledge and an understanding of humor is highlighted when looking at adults telling more childish jokes, such as “what do you call” jokes.
15 Best “what do you call” jokes
The best “what do you call” jokes are a must-learn comedic device. Telling funny what-do-you-call-a jokes is a rite of passage for anybody with a good sense of humor and a desire to entertain. Many people label “what do you call” jokes as juvenile and only fit for the school playground. However, the jokes play an important role in early-stage comedy development regardless of the level of complexity.
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Below are 15 funny “what do you call” jokes that never fail to get a laugh.
1. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
2. What do you call an American bee?
A USB!
3. What do you call a dinosaur with a bandage on?
Dino-sore.
4. What do you call a destroyed angle?
A rect-angle!
5. What do you call a joke with no punchline?
…
6. What do you call an old snowman?
Water
7. What do you call a sleepy dinosaur?
A stegosnorus!
8. What do you call a short ballerina?
A midget spinner!
9. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?
Adulthood!
10. What do you call something that’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?
Trouble
11. What do you call a cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
12. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URL-ologist
13. What do you call a Sikh trapeze artist?
Balan Singh
14. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic
15. What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?
A con descending!
15 “What do you call a man” jokes
“What do you call a man” jokes take the tried and tested formula and apply a stricter set of comedic parameters. Any “what do you call a man” jokes start with the quintessential phrase or a masculine-only variation. The classic approach for what do you call a man jokes is coming up with pun-driven names based on headwear. It’s an unconventional set-up, but few understand the true history or origins of such forms of humor. What part of culture takes the blame for creating “what do you call a man” jokes remains shrouded in mystery, but their importance in the development of a sense of humor cannot be overstated.
Below are 15 hilarious “What do you call a man” jokes to try out.
16. What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
17. What do you call a male swimmer with no legs and no arms?
Bob
18. What do you call a man with leaves on his head?
Russel
19. What do you call a Mexican man leaving the hospital?
Manuel
20. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
Doug
21. What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?
Douglas
22. What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony
23. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
24. What do you call a man wearing a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
25. What do you call a policeman in bed?
An undercover cop
26. What do you call a man with cat scratches on his arms?
Claude
27. What do you call a man with a coat on his head?
Mac
28. What do you call a man with two coats on his head?
Max
29. What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?
Warren
30. What do you call two men from Mexico playing Basketball?
Juan on Juan
15 “What do you call a woman” jokes
“What do you call a woman” jokes operate in the same manner as what-do-you-call-a-man jokes. The jokes follow the required formula but with the added stipulation that they all relate to women. A surprising level of skill is consequently needed to create “what do you call a woman” jokes as punning under such strict guidelines speaks volumes for comedic creativity. An important consideration when telling “what do you call a woman” jokes is that your focus should be on the pun-based answer and not on the woman herself.
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Below are 15 highly entertaining “what do you call a woman” jokes.
31. What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
32. What do you call the wife of a hippie?
A Mississippi!
33. What do you call a woman with her briefcase stuck in a tree?
A branch manager!
34. What do you call a woman with three arms?
Carrie
35. What do you call a woman with iron deficiency?
Male
36. What do you call a woman with a dove on her head?
Olive
37. What do you call a pregnant midget?
A minimum!
38. What do you call a woman who throws her bills on the fire?
Bernadette
39. What do you call a woman who can balance a tray of beers on her head?
Beatrix!
40. What do you call a woman with a pole on either side of her?
Annette
41. What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?
Shelley
42. What do you call a woman with a screwdriver in one hand, a knife in the other, a pair of scissors between the toes on her left foot, and a corkscrew between the toes on her right foot?
A Swiss Army wife
43. What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?
Adele
44. What do you call a Chinese woman with a food mixer on her head?
Brenda
45. What do you call a woman sitting on a loaf of bread?
Marge
8 Dark “what do you call” jokes
Dark “what do you call” jokes mark a particular change in tone, maintaining the juvenile format while inserting a decidedly more adult degree of inference. Dark humor is best served with a simplistic setup such as that seen with dark “what do you call” jokes. The best way to use dark “what do you call” humor is sparingly. Doing so is important because the punchline carries much more shock value when you sandwich a dark “what do you call” between usually lighthearted topics. Those that appreciate the humor will laugh while those that do not feel the appropriate level of discomfort will soon be pulled back into the fold with a far more lighthearted follow-up.
Below are 8 decidedly dark “what do you call” jokes that you should sprinkle into your routine as and when you feel necessary.
46. What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Samantha, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to get married tomorrow
47. What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything you want, it’s dead
48. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran
49. What do you call a woman with two black eyes?
Deaf
50. What do you call someone who says, “life gave me melons?”
Dyslexic
51. What do you call your daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her home late?
An ambulance
52. What do you call it when everybody makes Covid jokes?
A pundemic
53. What do you call people who use the rhythm method of contraception?
Parents
9 Rude “what do you call” jokes
Rude “what do you call” jokes add an element of vulgarity and profanity to the rudimentary schoolyard comedy style. The fun thing about rude what-do-you-call jokes is that while they are undeniably adult in the build-up and punch line, they manage to maintain a wonderful simplicity that keeps them easy to learn and repeat. Rude jokes, even ones that use the “what do you call” comedy style, have a niche audience. The key to successfully unleashing rude “what do you call” jokes is to understand when it is the right time and place to use them.
Below are 9 awesome rude “what do you call” jokes too good not to repeat.
54. What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader
55. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a cock?
A man
56. What do you call someone who does nothing but play Fortnite?
A virgin
57. What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF-ile
58. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence
59. What do you call a book club stuck on the same book for years?
Church
60. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Justin!
61. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor
62. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A tearjerker
15 Cheesy “what do you call” dad jokes
“What do you call” dad jokes have an image to maintain, and they do this in spectacular style. Any self-respecting dad joke understands that its success is measured not in laughs but in the depth and length of the sighs it receives. Dumb “what do you call” jokes that qualify as dad jokes do not disappoint. Traditional “what do you call” jokes are not necessarily high-brow material to begin with, so only the cheesiest of the cheesy get promoted to being “what do you call” dad jokes. We’d go so far as to say that “what do you call” dad jokes should come with a warning label because you need to have a polished comic style to pull them off effectively.
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Below are 15 cheesy examples of dumb “what do you call” dad jokes.
63. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
64. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
65. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
66. What do you call a blind dinosaur joke?
A Doyouthinkhesaurus
67. What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef
68. What do you call the security guards who work for Samsung?
The Guardians of the Galaxy
69. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
A depresso!
70. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick!
71. What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice?
Cold hard cash
72. What do you call a meditating wolf?
Aware wolf!
73. What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A plain bagel
74. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?
A father-in-law!
75. What do you call a hen that’s staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad
76. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
77. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud!
10 Dirty “what do you call” jokes for adults
“What do you call” jokes for adults are the dirtiest subcategory of the comedic style. You must know your audience and be unafraid of an awkward reaction when telling dirty “what do you call” jokes for adults. The core element that sets adult “what do you call” jokes apart from the rest of the field is their tendency to lean on sexual and vulgar humor elements. Dirty “what do you call” jokes are certainly not for children’s ears and should be withheld until the audience is mature enough to hear them. Vulgar humor has a time and a place and, when used correctly, serves as a very powerful comedic device.
Below are 10 dirty “what do you call” jokes for adults’ ears only.
78. What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off
79. What do you call a lesbian with braces?
A box-cutter
80. What do you call a naked woman wearing wellingtons?
Pussy in boots!
81. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopus
82. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off
83. What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?
A beaver dam
84. What do you call an expert fisherman?
A master baiter
85. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier the day after his wedding?
A glad-he-ate-her
86. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!
87. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float
15 “What do you call” animal jokes
“What do you call” animal jokes are another sub-niche of the playground classic “what do you call” jokes. The only credential needed to perform the quips is that they must be about animals. As with almost all other jokes on our list, “what do you call” animal jokes are aimed at a younger audience. A sense of humor gets you a long way in life even if “what do you call” animal jokes are only going to be fun for kids, you’ve got a gift that can serve you well. Furthermore, not all comedy needs to be high-brow or set for a big stage. Being the funny uncle or a chucklesome step-parent is far more important as you’re making the children in your life smile.
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Below are 15 totally wild “what do you call” animal jokes that will keep the kids laughing all night long.
88. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
89. What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer
90. What do you call a group of cats?
A purrade!
91. What do you call a pig on fire?
Smoky bacon
92. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny
93. What do you call birds that stick together?
Vel-crows
94. What do you call twin dinosaurs?
A pair-odactyls!
95. What do you call a well-spoken dinosaur?
A thesaurus
96. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Totally irrelephant!
97. What do you call a bear that never wants to grow up?
Peter Panda!
98. What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humphrey
99. What do you call a pig that knows Karate?
A pork chop
100. What do you call a dancing lamb?
A baaaaaa-llerina!
101. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
102. What do you call a crab who plays baseball?
A pinch-hitter