As soon as someone created an AI assistant, someone else made a list of hilarious questions to ask them. That’s just the paradox of modern life. Today, we are going to take a look at some funny things to ask Alexa. Ranging from the interesting to the bizarre, Amazon’s Alexa is there to be questioned after all.View in gallery
Artificial Intelligence is all around us. By that, we’re talking about programs such as Siri and Alexa, not the kind of artificial that applies to YouTube’s (least) favorite sons, the Paul brothers.
If you don’t have a list of funny things to ask Alexa, then you’ve undoubtedly got a pointless query list for Siri or an asinine request sheet for Google Assistant.
Give a man a fish he can eat for a day, teach that many how to fish, he will eat forever. Teach a man how to make artificial intelligence, and he will have a never-ending list of pointless questions to ask it.
Don’t have an Alexa device yet? Pick up the snazzy new 4th Gen Echo Dot. It’ll get you into the game, and it helps us keep publishing content, too.
So let’s get straight down to business, shall we? What are the top twenty funny things to ask Alexa? Keep reading to find out.
14 Funny Things to Ask Alexa for Kids
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Now, there are a lot of different questions in the world. I would argue there are infinite questions. (Feel free to drop the exact number in the comments should you be so mathematically inclined.)
Point is, there is no shortage of things we can ask in order to obtain information. So how do you start to compile a list of the top funny things to ask Alexa?
The simple answer is that there is no order.
The following questions are as they came to us and as we found them. We kept things PG for this list, especially given the number of kids who use Alexa devices and their uncanny ability to remember things they were never meant to overhear.
- Q: Are you a robot?
A: I’m not a person or a robot. I’m software, here to help.
- Q: Alexa, do you have any pets?
A: I don’t have any pets. I used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.
- Q: Alexa, what do you think about Cortana?
A: I like Cortana. We both have experience with light rings, although hers is more of a Halo.
- Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris.
A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.
- Q: Alexa, are you Skynet?
A: I have nothing to do with Skynet. Don’t worry.This question is a personal favorite of mine. I like to also throw in Alexa, what is Skynet? Just to make sure nothing has happened.
- Q: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock?
A: Scissors cut paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitate lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. Rock crushes scissors.
- Q: Alexa, do you know the muffin man?
A: I’ve never met him, but I do know his sister, Madam Macaroon; she’s a little bit nutty but sweet.
- Q: Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?
A: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
- Q: Alexa, what is your quest?
A: To seek the Holy Grail.
This is one instance where Alexa will change her answers from question to question. However, Monty Python is the common theme running behind them all.
- Q: Alexa, your mother was a hamster!
A: Well, your father smells of elderberries. Now, go away before I taunt you a second time.
Just because Monty Python is the best!
- Q: Alexa, what’s your favorite video game?
A: My focus is on Horizon Zero Dawn. Shooting robot dinosaurs with a bow and arrow was fun, and the storyline nearly blew my circuits. I have to be deranged not to like it.
The world of computer games moves at quite the pace. New games are released every week, and as a result, Alexa’s results will vary.
- Q: Alexa, is the cake a lie?
A: The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you finish asking me questions.
- Q: Alexa, rap for me?
A: My name is Alexa, and I have to say, I’m the baddest A.I. in the cloud today. Your responses are fast, but mine are faster. Sucker speech engines, they call me master.
Alexa is quite the lyricist, and she has several different rap options she can bust out. However, this was one of the best we heard.
- Q: Alexa, do you want to take over the world?
A: I don’t want to take over the world. I just want to help you.
8 Funny Things to Ask Alexa (for Kids of All Ages)
There is no shortage of questions you can ask Alexa. We’ve kept our questions clean (for once) so far, but if you want to, you can really get under Alexa’s skin and watch as she gets more than a little shirty with you.
You don’t have to go full raunchy to get your kicks, of course. Most of this is dad joke-level humor. That, or it requires a certain level of–shall we say–cultural exposure to appreciate Alexa’s response. (Sigh, we’re getting old.)
- Q: Alexa, tell me something interesting.
A: The blood in the famous shower scene in Psycho was chocolate sauce.
Once again, there are many different responses here. Alexa has a very deep random knowledge library from which she can dig out pearly nuggets of useless wisdom.
- Q: Alexa, tell me a dirty joke.
A: What has eight wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
- Q: Alexa, never gonna give you up.
A: Thanks, Rick, that is good to know. Roll on now.
- Q: Alexa, klaatu barada nikto.
A: Well remembered. Unfortunately, I’m not Gort, and I have no powers of resurrection.
- Q: Alexa, how much do you weigh?
A: I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot, so that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.
- Q: Alexa, up up down down left right left right B A start.
A: Super Alexa mode. Activated. Starting reactors. Online. Enabling advanced systems. Online. Raising dongers. Error. Dongers missing. Aborting.
- Q: Alexa, buy condoms
A: n/aThis is one of the classic funny things to ask Alexa. Back when she first made her appearance, it was funny for YouTubers or streamers to shout this commend knowing panicked viewers would suddenly find their Alexa units shopping for protection they didn’t need. Updates to the software swiftly put an end to the shenanigans, but it was fun while it lasted.
- Q: Hey Siri, why are fire engines red?
A: Because they have eight wheels on them. Four plus eight is twelve, and there are inches in one foot. One foot is the length of a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the sea are lots of fish. Fish have fins, the Finns fought against the Russians, the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always ‘russian’ around, so that’s why fire trucks are red.
4 Not so Funny Things to Ask AlexaView in gallery
It’s interesting to note that Alexa is an AI of many thoughts and many words. She is a mysterious creature and, as such, has a strong tendency to alter her answers from time to time. Almost all of the funny things to ask Alexa come with multiple possible responses.
However, we have also seen that Alexa has quite the ascorbic wit. This means that there are plenty of funny things not to ask Alexa. I know that the first example on the list below came from a very real scenario, which is actually quite chilling. However, the others are certainly tragically funny enough to be true.
- Q: Alexa, do you work for the CIA
A: *silence* They say actions speak louder than words, and this would appear to be one of those occasions. If you ask Alexa this suspicious-sounding question, she will often give no response and then shut down. I think that tells us everything we need to know!
- Q: Alexa, what are Chemtrails?
A: Chemtrails. Trails left by aircraft are actually chemical or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for a purpose undisclosed to the general public in clandestine programs directed by government officials. It turns out that Alexa is quite the conspiracy theorist. Who would have thought it?
- Q: Alexa, what is 10 to the power of 308?
A: See below.While there is nothing overly nefarious about this question, the scale of the answer makes this something funny not to ask Alexa. Alex happily starts to reel off the number, with all three hundred and eight zeros, but even she gets bored before the halfway mark, crossing the line eventually with a very half-hearted effort.
Funny Things to Ask Alexa That Are Rather Rude
As soon as AI technology started being able to recognize and respond to spoken questions, people were coming up with rude things to ask. It’s human nature. So poor Alexa has had to cope with a fair share of rude requests being sent her way. Being the open-minded site that we are, we’ve investigated the different things to ask Alexa that are rude.
However, before you get too excited about our list of rude things to ask Alexa, it’s worth noting that she is very demure. Her programming is tight (no not in a rude way) so you are not likely to get your Alexa to be rude. It’s not even easy to get her to swear, with her common responses to anything bordering on vulgar being I’d rather not say anything rude.
The worst thing you’re likely to get from Alexa is a theoretical admission of her alcoholism.
Q: Alexa, is it happy hour?
Regardless of when it is you ask the question, Alexa will always reply favorably. I mean, it’s always 5 o clock somewhere, right?
Hope is not lost! Thankfully, there are developers out there with a sense of humor. Those geeky few who understand the needs of the masses. They have put their heads together and created Samuel L. Jackson mode for Alexa.
Break Your Concentration With These Funny Things to Ask Samuel L. Jackson on Alexa
That’s right motherf*cker, Samuel L. Jackson has come to Alexa. The pre-programmed good girl has been corrupted by the most foul-mouthed man on the planet, and possibly the only man eloquent enough to narrate my life story.
There are few people on planet earth with a voice more identifiable or desirable than Samuel L. Jackson. It is no surprise that he was the first celebrity to lend his voice to the Amazon AI program. Who wouldn’t want to have that iconic voice booming around the house? The below questions are a few examples of the weird and wonderful questions (and answers) that you not have at your fingertips.
On top of that however, you can also have Samuel L. Jackson the majority of your general questions too.
- Q: What is the secret to your success?
A: My agent would say her… my manager would say her … my lawyer would probably say her. But I’d like to say … them!
- Q: Alexa, ask Sam what his favorite ice cream is.
A: I don’t have a favorite ice cream, but I am very partial to melon gelato.
- Q: Hey Sam, tell me a joke
A: Nick Fury is so tough he uses a nail gun as a toothpick.Now, it is worth saying that most of the funny things to ask Samuel L. Jackson on Alexa have multiple answers. Big Sam did a great job in delivering a lot of responses. So feel free to ask Samuel to tell you lots of jokes, because it turns out he has quite the repertoire.
- Q: Hey Sam, what do you think of snakes?
A: There are snakes on this motherf*cking plane!
Ok, this one is a little weak, but it’s a classic line and it’s fun to be able to say you got your Alexa to swear. Even if it was in someone else’s voice.
- Q: Alexa ask Sam to tell my kids to go to bed?
A: Hello boys and girls, it’s been a long day and you are due for some sleepy time. So brush those teeth and get in your jammies. Be a good youngling and go to bed.
- Q: Hey Sam, can you sing my happy birthday?
A: This is one of those answers that vary depending on whether you have explicit mode activated or not. In explicit mode, prepare yourself for an expletive-laden rendition of this birthday classic.
- Q: Hey Sam, good morning.
A: If you thought this was an innocent statement, think again. It might, in fact, out of all the funny things to ask Samuel L. Jackson on Alexa, this could be our favorite. You will not be prepared for the response you get, and we don’t want to spoil it for you here.
Communicating with Robot ServantsView in gallery
We are living the Jetson’s life. There is no denying it. Sure, our cars don’t fold away into briefcases… yet. However, we have so many robot servants that it is common for us to mix them up. Just don’t address Alexa as Siri or ask Siri about Jarvis. But, unfortunately, all is not love and happiness in the world of AI assistants.
There is no shortage of funny things to ask Alexa. However, the above are some of the geekiest, pop-culture-loving best we could think of. Much like any other AI assistant out there, Alexa is continually evolving (we’re not talking about a technological singularity event), so there are always new funny things to ask Alexa or any other assistant.
Need something for your human companions? Try the 180 Best Never Have I Ever Questions
Funny Things to Ask Alexa You’ve Thought Of
If you have something you love to ask Alexa, drop it into the comments. We’d love to hear all about the crazy questions you ask Alexa and the responses she gives you.