Halloween jokes are a subset of corny humor with thematic ties to the Halloween holiday spirit. Halloween jokes are typically equal parts spooky and silly, with a focus on simplicity appreciable to audiences of all ages. Halloween humor is (despite its underlying horror theme) usually cute and harmless enough for kids, but adult-oriented quips and one-liners are plentiful as well. Regardless of the audience, the Halloween joke is a classic part of the mischievous, fun atmosphere that this spooky holiday is famous for.
Halloween humor is highly flexible, and draws from a wide range of comedy styles to deliver big laughs. Halloween jokes encompass corny dad humor, knock-knock jokes, anti-humor, and even dark humor to make scary subjects funny. Couching horror themes in comedy helps make the spooky season more fun for young children who scare easily. The opposite is true for adults who are less likely to be scared, but more likely to engage with the spirit of Halloween horror when it makes them laugh.
Telling a Halloween joke successfully requires a certain level of capricious deftness and broad familiarity with the seasonal subject matter. Monsters, ghosts, goblins, witches, jack-o-lanterns, black cats, and ghouls offer fertile ground for silly riddles, puns, and one-liners. Alternatively, you might focus on trick-or-treat jokes to elevate the anticipation of door-to-door candy solicitation, or even move into adjacent niches such as the chronically underutilized dentist jokes that poke fun at anyone with a sweet tooth.
Keep in mind, however, that Halloween jokes are a niche form of seasonal humor. Spooky jokes about the living dead are usually inappropriate during Christmas or Memorial Day, for example (although there is a fair argument for Easter). The best time to land a Halloween joke is at the start of autumn to build up anticipation and atmosphere for the holiday itself. As soon as the Halloween decorations go up, though, all bets are off and it’s time to unleash your corniest, spookiest jokes like a swarm of vampire bats!
32 Funniest Halloween jokes
The funniest Halloween jokes are spooky enough to elevate the spirit of the season without genuinely terrifying young children. Understanding the difference between spookiness and terror is essential for telling any Halloween joke as it affects the mood and reception of the quip. Children largely appreciate spookiness but genuine horror harms the joy of the holiday and, by extension, any humor about the topic. Furthermore, seasonal humor has a simple underlying truth: People are already happy during the holiday so you don’t need to overwork your comedy routine.
Below are the funniest jokes about Halloween that strike the perfect balance of spooky and funny.
1. What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’ll have two beers and a mop.
2. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
3. Why shouldn’t an angry witch take her broom trick or treating?
She might fly off the handle.
4. Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
5. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.
6. What happens when you don’t pay your exorcism bill?
The house gets repossessed.
7. Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
Because it had a strong circulation.
8. What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?
A monster truck.
9. Where do mummies like to swim?
The Dead Sea.
10. Why do they not play music in a skeleton church?
Because there are no organs.
11. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.
12. Do you know what happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?
Wait for it … it will dawn on you.
Halloween jokes for kids
Halloween jokes for kids are a common type of Halloween humor as the holiday is largely geared toward children. Even more mature humor about the holiday is childish due to the generic festivities of All Hallow’s Eve, such as dressing up and eating candy. The funniest jokes consequently lend themselves to kid-friendly topics with a spooky twist. Nevertheless, comics won’t feel limited by kid-focused quips due to the broad selection of wordplay and situational and circumstantial forms of humor making the quips a great source of comedic material during the holiday.
Below are 8 classic jokes for kids about Halloween that you’ll be telling for generations.
13. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
Because all of the jelly has been sucked out of the doughnuts
14. What do you get from a vampire bite in winter?
Frostbite.
15. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
Rice Creepies.
16. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
He had nobody to go with.
17. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
18. How does Dracula stay fit?
He plays bat-minton.
19. Why did the ghost quit studying?
Because he was too ghoul for school.
20. Why do ghosts pick their noses?
To get the boo-gers.
Halloween jokes for adults
Halloween jokes for adults are an inevitable, mature step up from typically child-friendly humor. Human nature lends itself towards adult humor, whether it’s as a coping mechanism, deflection, or simply because adults are frequently bored. The presence of adult jokes for any topic is as certain as the sun rising in the morning. Furthermore, Halloween jokes for adults are a mixed bag. However, not all adult jokes are sexual nor are all of them vulgar. Adult jokes for Halloween, for example, embrace the true dark side of the holiday and are easily branded as dark humor jokes.
Below are 12 wickedly good Halloween jokes for adults.
21. What health insurance do Halloween creatures use?
Medi-scare.
22. Why do we carve pumpkins at Halloween?
Because they have less blood and aren’t as messy as animals.
23. I stopped by my grandmother’s house, and I’m so impressed. She had all the Halloween decorations out. There were cobwebs everywhere and bugs in the windows, along with a skeleton on her couch.
She’s 89 and always does a great job, but there was no answer when I knocked. I guess I’ll stop by again in a few months…if I have time.
24. What has 69 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
25. How do two skeletons have sex?
By boning all night long.
26. What did the vampire say to the teacher?
See you next period.
27. Why was the ghost dad wearing a dress on Halloween?
He was trans-parent.
28. What do you call a Halloween-themed sex toy for men?
A jack-off-lantern.
29. What do vampires use to make tea?
Tampons.
30. What do you call a ghost’s breasts?
Paranormal En-titties.
31. What do Targaryens and gourds have in common?
They both pump-kin.
32. What does the devil have between his legs?
He has great balls of fire.
6 Corny Halloween jokes
Corny Halloween jokes are a spooky type of humor that relies on the power of simplicity. All forms of corny humor rely on an uncomplicated but unappreciated set-up, resulting in the delivery of spooky comedy that is cheesier than an edam sandwich but promises a short sharp laugh. The trick to telling a corny Halloween joke the right way is not to go too heavy on the punchline as you might with puns about the holiday. You must maintain a level of nonchalance as doing so helps make corniness that much funnier.
Below are 6 corny jokes to help you get started.
33. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
Bootiques.
34. Why did the Headless Horseman keep applying for jobs?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
35. What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car?
Fasten your sheet-belts.
36. What is white, black, and dead all over?
A zombie trick or treating in a tuxedo.
37. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Broommates.
38. Where does Dracula keep his money?
At the blood bank.
10 Halloween dad jokes
Halloween dad jokes consist of Dad-oriented humor about the spooky season. Jokes told by dads, including wisecracks for Halloween, tend to stick in your mind due to their painful delivery. That said, a well-done dad Halloween joke is not bad nor is it corny; rather, the joke flirts the boundary between both types of humor through the lens of spooky comedy. You do not need to be a father or even a man to tell dad jokes, but you do need to practice your delivery to maximize their arduous punchline and ensure you convey your Halloween joke with a convincing attitude of disinterest.
Below are 10 creepily (un)funny Halloween dad jokes that you will be telling for years.
39. How can you always tell when a ghost is lying?
You can see right through them.
40. Where’s the best place to celebrate Halloween?
Mali-boo!
41. Why didn’t anyone want to go trick-or-treating with Dracula?
Because he is a real pain in the neck.
42. Why do ghosts make such great cheerleaders?
Because they are all spirit.
43. Who is the best dancer at the monster’s ball?
The Boogieman!
44. Why did the couple hear clucking in their house every night?
They had a poultrygeist.
45. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?
He was too wrapped up in himself.
46. Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift?
Because she has bad blood.
47. How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern…”
48. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
Spooktacles.
7 Cute Halloween jokes
Cute Halloween jokes are an extension of the kid-focused jokes listed above with a focus on gentler topics. The quips offer further proof that the primary audience of Halloween humor should be the younger generation. A cute Halloween joke drops the spooky factor without changing the target demographic or theme. Additionally, cute humor is short and simple. The cuter subject matter asks a question and provides an answer—a formula that stands up well as the underlying elements of the gag do not change from one year to the next.
Below are 7 adorably cute jokes that are perfect for the spooky season.
49. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I-Scream!
50. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd.
51. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul-friend.
52. What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
53. What instrument does the skeleton play in the Halloween band?
The trom-bone.
54. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling.
55. What do you call a witch who lives near the beach?
A sand-witch.
7 Bad Halloween jokes
Bad Halloween jokes are intentionally unfunny variations of the holiday humor. The point of bad humor is not necessarily to get a chuckle but rather to elicit groans in your audience. Bad jokes about holidays help change the mood of an ailing conversation or crack a smile from a trick-or-treating child. Intentionally unfunny humor isn’t ideal for all situations and should certainly not be the only wisecrack you have in your possession during the holiday. However, bad jokes have their uses, and as such, the Halloween season behooves you to learn just a few.
Below are 7 bad anti-jokes for Halloween that never fail to get a reaction from the audience.
56. Why can’t you invite twin witches to a party?
You can never tell witch witch is witch!
57. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride?
A roller-ghoster.
58. How do ghosts search the internet?
They use ghoul-gle.
59. Why are skeletons always so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin!
60. What is a ghost’s favorite type of horse?
A night-mare!
61. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
62. How do ghosts remove their makeup after a night of trick or treating?
They use vanishing cream.
10 Halloween knock-knock jokes
Halloween knock-knock jokes are a hidden gem of holiday comedy. The humor is plentiful with each Halloween joke delivering a different punchline while remaining largely kid-friendly. Additionally, Halloween knock-knock jokes are relevant to the holiday due to the door-knocking nature of trick-or-treating. Even so, the jokes remain a relatively underutilized comedy style despite being tailor-made for the holiday and there being an abundance of spooky set-ups to choose from.
Below are 10 of the best Halloween knock-knock jokes to keep the good vibes rolling.
63. Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
64. Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
65. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you
66. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
67. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Fangs
Fangs who?
Fangs for opening the door
68. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Felix
Felix who?
I felix-cited about trick-or-treating!
69. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes a great time to go trick or treating
70. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havana great time trick or treatin’
71. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time to go trick or treating
72. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Norma.
Norma who?
Norma-lly I say trick or treat
6 Trick or treat jokes
Trick-or-treat jokes play on an essential festivity of Halloween. There’s no other time or place for the topic as we’re otherwise busy teaching our kids not to knock on strange doors or take candy from people they don’t know throughout the rest of the year. Trick-or-treat humor is more niche than many other wisecracks about Halloween as they all need to revolve around a single activity. However, there is a wide scope within those constraints to get creative. Additionally, keep in mind that many of the quips are rehashes of a single Halloween joke with a character or location change.
Below are 6 hilarious trick-or-treat jokes to help guide you down the right path.
73. Where do werewolves store the candy they get from trick or treating?
In a were-house.
74. Why don’t skeletons like to trick or treat during the winter?
The cold goes right through them.
75. How did the zombie become great at trick-or-treating?
He was very dead-icated.
76. What do optometrists hand out to trick-or-treaters?
Candy corneas.
77. How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating?
She checks her s-witch watch.
78. Where do ghosts like to trick or treat?
Down dead ends.
5 Halloween riddles
Halloween riddles are a longer form of humor that breaks away from other set-ups commonly used during Halloween. The riddles are not solely punchline driven. Rather, the art of telling Halloween jokes and riddles lies in the way they’re conveyed. The story the riddles weave in the build-up is important as it sets the tone for the punchline, which is often a logical yet unlikely swerve. The comedian’s job is to guide their audience to the point where they feel as if they know the answer but keep it just out of their reach.
Below are 5 devilishly entertaining jokes and riddles for Halloween.
79. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A coffin.
80. We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
81. When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
82. I am wrapped, but I am not a gift. I am kept neatly in a chamber, and archeologists find me as a great treasure. What am I?
A mummy.
83. A zombie, a mummy, and a ghost bought a house. It has all the usual rooms except for one. What room won’t you find?
A living room.
6 Spooky jokes
Spooky jokes are the perfect complement to Halloween. Halloween is the one time of year when people embrace the darker side of the world. Ghosts, goblins, vampires, and ghouls are all fair game come October 31st. Spooky jokes jump on that train of thought and account for a wide range of Halloween jokes. Anything that goes bump in the night makes the perfect subject for some spooky Halloween humor.
Below are 6 hideously spooky jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.
84. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room?
A spoo-key!
85. What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi.
86. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
87. Why was the jack-o-lantern scared of everything?
He was totally gutless.
88. What would you call the spiders who married on Halloween?
Newly webbed.
89. What do you call a scary dessert that you just can’t throw away?
A Boo-meringue.
5 Dark Halloween jokes
Dark Halloween jokes are a mild form of dark humor jokes. Dark humor is generally edgy and likely to offend, but dark quips about the holiday are largely kid-friendly while touching on more mature themes. Death, zombies, and other nasties lend themselves to the jokes, though their punchlines remain quick and easy.
Below are 5 grim and dark jokes about the spooky season that pack a humorous punch.
90. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
Let’s stop in for a cool one!
91. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because everybody is just dying to get in.
92. Why did the author love hanging out in the cemetery?
Because it had such good plots.
93. Why is the woman afraid of the vampire?
Because he is all bite and no bark.
94. How did the pumpkin kill the trick-or-treaters?
He gourd them to death.
5 Halloween party jokes
Halloween party jokes are a form of humor with a double meaning. Halloween party jokes are both jokes you tell at a party and jokes that talk about a party. When combined, you hold in your hand the ultimate Halloween party joke, which is perfect for when you have an audience. Halloween party jokes follow a predictable style consisting of a short intro and a snappy punchline. The set-up works because Halloween, as a holiday, is strong enough to create an image in people’s heads without the need for an unnecessary preamble.
Below are 5 brilliant Halloween party jokes too good to keep to yourself.
95. Why did the monster go inside the bar?
For all the boos.
96. What happened to the cannibal who showed up late to the Halloween dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder.
97. What do you call six witches in a jacuzzi?
A self-cleaning coven.
98. Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
99. What’s a ghoul’s favorite vegetable
A human bean.
6 Dentist Halloween jokes
Dentist Halloween jokes are an especially niche form of spooky comedy. Halloween dentist humor pokes fun at the profession and plays on the relationship between candy and oral hygiene. However, the humor is underutilized because there’s rarely anything spooky or scary about the dentist. That said, the comedy topic deserves to be more well-known than they are given the tooth-rooting sweetness of the season.
Below are 6 rare but awesome dentist Halloween jokes.
100. Why don’t dentists need a Halloween costume?
They are scary enough without one.
101. What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay.
102. Why does a vampire brush his teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
103. How are vampires like false teeth?
They both come out at night.
104. What time was the vampire’s dentist appointment?
Tooth-hurty.
100. What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is Halloween humor?
Halloween humor is a brand of humor that centers on a Halloween or spooky theme. Halloween humor is largely seasonal. However, there’s nothing wrong with cracking the odd Halloween or Thanksgiving joke as soon as autumn comes sweeping in. Halloween is a creepy and spooky time of year, but it’s important not to confuse Halloween humor with gallows or dark humor. Dark humor jokes are generally more macabre, while Halloween jokes have a more juvenile style and are largely innocuous jokes suitable for any audience and situation.