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Thanksgiving jokes are a seasonal variety of gut-busting quips that focus on the yearly Thanksgiving traditions. Thanksgiving jokes are humorous accouterments that leave friends and family with rancorous laughter (or awkward dinner-table silence, depending on the crowd and delivery). Keep the Thanksgiving holidays joyful by preparing the funniest Turkey Day jokes at the dinner table.
Thanksgiving is a joyful celebration that brings friends and family together to give thanks for all they have. However, the holidays risk becoming overly sentimental as loved ones reminisce about the past and express their gratitude for each other. Telling jokes during the holiday festivities will liven up the occasion and keep energy levels high. For example, funny Thanksgiving jokes have the ability to make kids, adults, and senior citizens laugh. The sense of togetherness and the specific nature of Thanksgiving make it the perfect place for family-friendly humor, and the occasional November jokes that get slightly naughty.
There are two main benefits that connect to the time-sensitive nature of Thanksgiving jokes. Firstly, Thanksgiving jokes give you an entire year to refresh your joke arsenal. The break between occasions helps to keep things fresh and gives you time to prepare funny Thanksgiving quotes and one-liners. Secondly, you can reuse Thanksgiving jokes from previous years. The time between next year’s Thanksgiving is all you need to dull people’s memories and have younger family members leave the kid’s table to have a funny Thanksgiving filled with laughter.
The holidays offer freedom from the daily grind and you have the chance to break out your best knock-knock jokes for Thanksgiving or deliver the crowd-favorite Thanksgiving dad jokes. Pressure from the holiday hustle and bustle isn’t in full swing until after Thanksgiving, and the addition of corny Thanksgiving wisecracks keeps people laughing and feeling stress-free.
Holidays bring with them a general sense of pleasure and the ability to relax. Days like Thanksgiving don’t count as regular days of the week because everything else stops and ceases to matter for a few hours. The presiding sense of escape opens the doors to silly turkey jokes and holiday-themed riddles and games.
Few holidays gather the entire family with such ardent dedication as Thanksgiving. The November holiday pulls the closest and most distant of families together for food, fun, and folly. Thanksgiving results in good times, family arguments, and culinary disasters that evolve into new ways to say happy Thanksgiving and new Thanksgiving stories. Once the summer sun has faded to a distant memory, and winter’s kiss chills the air, we turn inward and make our preparation for the kick-off of the American eating season. Below are 103 Thanksgiving jokes your family will gobble up.
50 Funniest Thanksgiving jokes
The funniest Thanksgiving jokes are holiday-oriented wisecracks that bring a dose of levity to the November jubilee. Thanksgiving day is about spending time with friends, family, and ample food. Having a Thanksgiving joke to means you won’t have to worry about making small talk with relatives you hardly see because you’ll be ready to fire off your comedic stylings. Thanksgiving jokes help alleviate that weight of expectation by putting everybody at ease and guaranteeing a good time.
Below are sixteen gut-bursting funny Thanksgiving jokes.
1. What’s a turkey’s favorite month?
Any of them that isn’t November.
2. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
Quack, Quack.
3. Why are turkeys happy when it rains?
They love fowl weather.
4. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
5. Who didn’t have any friends at Friendsgiving?
The turkey.
6. What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky.
7. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
8. What’s one thing that everybody has in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?
You’ll both be filled with stuffing.
9. With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish?
Masked potatoes.
10. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain?
A Pil-grimace.
11. What can you call the relative who falls asleep after Thanksgiving dinner?
A napkin.
12. Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats.
13. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
Only one, but you have to really squeeze him in there.
14. What does a turkey always give thanks for?
Vegetarians.
15. Why do turkeys hate the kitchen on Thanksgiving?
They always smell so fowl.
16. What is the saddest drink served at Thanksgiving?
Apple sigh-der.
What are the funniest ways to say “Happy Thanksgiving”?
The funniest ways to say “Happy Thanksgiving” are by using snappy expressions that riff on the traditional messages of gratitude. Funny ways to say happy Thanksgiving poke fun at the universal holiday experience and the unique familial antics. For example, funny Thanksgiving sayings express the shared sense of anxiety and anticipation at spending an entire day with family and enjoying all the food and drink the day brings. A simple happy Thanksgiving doesn’t always convey the appropriate sense of cheerfulness, however, having a funny way to embrace the day keeps the mood pleasant for all.
Below are seven funny ways to say happy Thanksgiving.
17. This Thanksgiving, cherish the time spent with your family as a reminder of why you moved very far away from your family.
18. I was going to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, but I didn’t want to use any fowl language.
19. For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.
20. I like football. I find it an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
21. Thanksgiving offers us an annual pause from the pace of life return to places we do not often visit and gather with people we do not often see.
22. This Thanksgiving, I hope you’re able to avoid the tragedy of the different foods on your plate touching one another.
23. Toasted, roasted, baked, and done! Hope your Thanksgiving is loads of fun.
What are the best Thanksgiving one-liners?
The best Thanksgiving one-liners are short but powerful comedic remarks that get to the punchline in a single line of text. Thanksgiving one-liners are the sort of jokes that play on situational factors, which keeps them relatable. One-liners are short inoffensive quips that quickly pull the entire table into a belly laugh and leave people asking for seconds. Prepare for the occasional awkward silence with a Thanksgiving one-liner to break even the most begrudging of attendees.
Below are nine short but funny Thanksgiving one-liners.
24. My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That’s it. That’s the joke.
25. Gobble ’til you wobble.
26. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
27. All turkeys make great bowlers.
28. A dad’s Thanksgiving prayer, Grace.
29. Sweater weather is the only forecast you need on Thanksgiving.
30. I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
31. You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy.
32. Sing it “Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me, maybe.”
What are some funny Thanksgiving stories?
Funny Thanksgiving stories are entertaining anecdotes about Thanksgiving rather than quippy jokes and one-liners. Funny Thanksgiving stories keep spirits high during the holiday festivities, particularly when faced with the near-expected problems that accompany any family get-together. Using Thanksgiving stories to make others laugh reminds the other guests that they shouldn’t worry about their blunders because it could be worse. Therefore, reminisce together and share your experiences through humorous Thanksgiving stories while making more memories for the next year.
Below are five compelling and funny Thanksgiving stories.
33. “Several years into our marriage, I hosted our first Thanksgiving dinner. I ran the dishwasher overnight, but it malfunctioned. On Thanksgiving morning, I discovered that my plastic-handled flatware had melted into what looked like a display at the Museum of Modern Art. Luckily, the local housewares store was open. I bought replacements and ultimately did serve Thanksgiving dinner—albeit two hours late—but it was years before I hosted another major family gathering.” — Michele Harber, Forest Hills, New York
34. “Days before my wife and I got married, I was invited to my future in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner. We all brought something, and I volunteered to bring a Caesar salad. I called a restaurant, and they actually gave me their recipe. It called for 5 cloves of garlic but, at the time, I didn’t know the difference between a clove of garlic and the entire head. I’ll never forget the look on my future father-in-law’s face when he tried to eat that thing I created. ‘Wow…that’s tart!’ he said.” — John Certuse, Attleboro, Massachusetts
35. “It was Thanksgiving, and preparation was in full swing. Suddenly the power went out. I went downstairs to reset the circuit. I heard murmurs as I went back up to the kitchen. There stood my mother-in-law (who had the job of mashing the potatoes), holding the electric beater like a pistol—bullets of mashed potatoes decorated the walls of the kitchen. An hour later, we sat down to Thanksgiving dinner—with fewer mashed potatoes than usual.” — Marjorie Beall, Peoria, Illinois
36. “I invited my best friend, her significant other, and a guy I was dating over for my first time cooking a turkey. We drank 6 bottles of wine and when my date’s phone rang I answered it thinking it was funny. I started talking to his buddy and it turns out we had another person in common, another guy I was dating. My date was not impressed. We stopped dating. Best turkey I have ever eaten though.” — Anonymous
37. “A few years ago, my family and I drove 8 hours from New York to the University of Virginia to have Thanksgiving dinner in my brother’s apartment. Rather than cooking there or buying some ingredients in Virginia, my mom cooked absolutely everything a few days before, stuck a fully cooked turkey, Tupperware full of appetizers and side dishes, and a few pies and desserts into the trunk of our car. It was literally Thanksgiving on wheels.” — Unknown
What are the best Turkey jokes?
Turkey jokes are a style of Thanksgiving comedy that adds flavor to your holiday banter. The turkey is a symbol of Thanksgiving and there’s nothing foul about adding a side of humor to the main course. Turkey jokes wait the entire year for their seat at the table, while beef, chicken, fish, and that vegan nut roast have every Christmas day and other special occasions to gloat. There are few opportunities that call for a turkey joke quite like Thanksgiving. Therefore, marinate on the bountiful turkey jokes at your disposal and accept groans as a receipt for laughter at a later date.
Below are seven delectable turkey jokes.
38. What do you call a baby turkey?
A goblet.
39. Why didn’t the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?
Because they ran out of thyme.
40. What do you call a ghost of a turkey?
A poultry-geist.
41. Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
42. Why do turkeys lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they would break.
43. Why do turkeys grow so big?
Because they gobble everything up.
44. What’s the best song to cook while cooking Thanksgiving dinner?
All about that baste.
What are some funny November jokes?
November jokes are humorous quips that flip the script on Thanksgiving and focus on non-traditional elements of November. Jokes about the month of November stray from family-friendly jests and play on the pop-culture phenomenon known as No-Nut-November. November jokes are humorous reminders of theoretical celibacy that the internet popularized as a necessity for enjoying the month. There’s no need to worry about prematurely using a Thanksgiving joke if you throw in crass November jokes for variety, just make sure you have the right audience for your material.
Below are six humorous November jokes.
45. I told my wife I was taking part in No Nut November…
She said she was excited for me to see how she feels the other 11 months of the year.
46. What is a squirrel’s least favorite time of year?
No Nut November….
47. If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day?
November thirst.
48. I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year.
49. What’s the opposite of November?
Yesvember.
50. What did Freddie Mercury say when he was informed about the November challenge?
Nutting really matters to me.
8 Thanksgiving jokes for kids
Thanksgiving jokes for kids are a family-friendly version of Thanksgiving humor with a dash of immaturity. Thanksgiving is a time for family and togetherness. Thanksgiving jokes for kids make general fodder for the days leading up to the holiday. For example, you can leave a festive joke in your kid’s lunchbox on the days before school lets out for Thanksgiving break. The holidays put people into fun and silly moods, and kids appreciate silly jokes. The best thing about Thanksgiving jokes for kids is they are perfect to use for any audience and at all times of the day.
Below are eight hilarious Thanksgiving jokes for kids.
51. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing-wing-wing.
52. What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
53. Why did the tomatoes blush?
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
54. What sound does a dizzy turkey make?
Wobble, wobble.
55. Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they never learned table manners.
56. Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
Because he brought his own drumsticks.
57. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
58. What one sort of ‘tude is appropriate at Thanksgiving dinner?
Gratitude.
7 Thanksgiving jokes for adults
Thanksgiving jokes for adults are a thought-provoking form of jokes that lean towards vulgarity and mature topics. Thanksgiving jokes for adults fall flat at the kids’ table because of the complexity of the type of humor involved and the age gap between references. Thanksgiving remains a time for family, and while adult jokes for Thanksgiving have their place, it’s best to keep your selection suitable for the dinner table. Remember that the best Thanksgiving jokes for adults go over the head of a younger audience rather than below the belt.
Below are seven mature Thanksgiving jokes for adults.
59. What’s blue and covered in feathers?
A dead turkey.
60. What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.
61. Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies?
Because they use fowl language.
62. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving dinner but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
63. Mom wants you to help fix Thanksgiving dinner.
Why? Is it broken?
64. A man called up his adult daughter and told her the bad news: He and his wife were getting a divorce.
“But why, Dad? What happened?” the daughter asked.
“I’ve been miserable for years, and I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve packed my bags, and I’m leaving tonight!” the father replied.
“Wait, Dad! Don’t do anything drastic. I’m coming over to talk to you guys. Can you at least wait until tomorrow?” asked the daughter.
“OK, why don’t you bring John and the kids, too? I’m sure your mom will want to see them,” the dad said.
“OK,” said the daughter. “See you then.”
The man hung up the phone then said, “Honey! The kids are coming over for Thanksgiving!”
65. My grandfather’s recipe for cooking was passed down through the generations.
Step 1: Go buy a turkey.
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey.
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven.
Step 4: Take another two drinks of whiskey.
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens.
Step 6: Take three more whiskeys of drink.
Step 7: Turn oven the on.
Step 8: Take four whisks of drinky.
Step 9: Turk the bastey.
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get.
6 Thanksgiving jokes for senior citizens
Thanksgiving jokes for senior citizens are a style of jokes that avoid modernity and focus on subjects and punchlines that older family members understand. There are funny folk who believe that Thanksgiving jokes for senior citizens are jokes that need to be shouted at a high volume. However, cracking Thanksgiving jokes with your senior family members is simple if you prepare a few appropriate jokes. The benefit of senior citizen Thanksgiving humor is that all members of the family have a chance to laugh together.
Below are six unforgettable Thanksgiving jokes for senior citizens.
66. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
67. What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock.
68. What does the turkey think about holidays?
They’re about family time; after that, it’s all gravy.
69. Why do turkeys hate the establishment?
Because they love a good coup.
70. What’s a popular Thanksgiving dance?
The turkey trot.
71. How did you find grandma’s turkey this year?
I just looked next to the gravy.
10 Thanksgiving dad jokes
Thanksgiving dad jokes are a holiday variant of the groan-worthy dad joke comedy style. Thanksgiving dad jokes prove that every day is a good day for dad jokes, and Thanksgiving just presents an opportunity for a more condensed array of jokes. Dads are proud spokespersons of corny Thanksgiving jokes and take full advantage of situations that encourages them to use corny jokes. Prime yourself ahead of November, and come to the table armed with your own collection of corny yet unforgettable Thanksgiving dad jokes.
Below are ten corny Thanksgiving dad jokes.
72. What key has legs and can’t open a door?
A tur-key.
73. What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
74. Why did the turkey cross the road?
So that people would think he was a chicken.
75. How come the turkey didn’t eat dinner?
He was already stuffed.
76. Can a turkey jump higher than a house?
Yes, because houses can’t jump.
77. What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google.
78. What do you tell your jokester cousin on Thanksgiving?
You’re on a casse-roll.
79. What material did the turkey use to build a driveway?
I don’t know.
Gobblestones.
80. If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for?
Their age.
81. What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream.
5 Knock-knock jokes for Thanksgiving
Knock-knock jokes for Thanksgiving are a form of quippy back and forth dialogue to add a sprinkle of holiday splendor to a classic comedy style. Knock-knock jokes have a ubiquitous nature allowing them to remain useful throughout the year with a little festive tweaks. Thanksgiving knock-knock jokes are versatile and are adjustable to accompany the Christmas holiday season that follows. There are two main benefits of pulling out a knock-knock joke for Thanksgiving. Firstly, knock-knock jokes are beneficial for family gatherings as they work to entertain young and old alike. Secondly, an advantage of keeping a few knock-knock jokes for Thanksgiving in your back pocket is that they get even funnier after a few drinks.
Below are five knock-knock jokes for Thanksgiving.
82. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara we’ll eat all the leftovers!
83. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.
84. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
85. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!
86. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body seen the turkey?”
7 Thanksgiving riddles
Thanksgiving riddles are a brand of holiday humor that combines brain-teasers and comical aspects of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving riddles are playful and differ from the normal enigmatic nature of riddles by remaining fairly straightforward. Turkey day riddles straddle the ground that lies between riddles and jokes by adding humor to the traditional sphinxlike conundrums. You should avoid sending the other guests sliding into their food coma while scratching their heads at your illogical questions, and use a Thanksgiving riddle or two to send people smiling happily into their post-turkey slumber.
Below are seven simple and entertaining Thanksgiving riddles.
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87. It’s eaten at Thanksgiving as part of the main course. It gets added to your plate in the form of a sauce. What is it?
A Cranberry.
88. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
89. What do the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Puritans all have in common?
The letter “I.”
90. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
91. If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.
92. What’s something usually insulting but not on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
93. What smells the best every Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
10 Funny Thanksgiving quotes
Funny Thanksgiving quotes are fodder for professional and amateur comedians from all points on the compass about the hilarity of family engagements. Funny Thanksgiving quotes are useful for holiday email signatures, memos, or updating your social media. You won’t be able to pass them off as your own musings, but funny quotable phrases are relatable and entertaining. Thanksgiving quotes are not jokes, however, they do serve as a solid conversation starter and warrant being added to your Thanksgiving repertoire.
Below are ten incredibly funny Thanksgiving quotes that capture the spirit of the holiday.
94.“May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump, and your potatoes, and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious, and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” — Anonymous
95. “I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” — Jon Stewart
96. “Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
97. “I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” — Kumail Nanjiani
98. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”— Erma Bombeck
99. “Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.”— Melanie White
100. “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” — Jim Davis
101. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”— Rita Rudner
102. “Last Thanksgiving, I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, blam! Everybody at the supermarket was just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?” — Kenny Rogerson
103. “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” — Michael Dresser
How to have a funny Thanksgiving filled with laughter
Prepare a few jokes about Thanksgiving and leave your stress at the door to have a Thanksgiving filled with laughter. The holidays are your chance to have fun with friends and family while treating the day like an off-canon adventure. Celebrating with your family during the holidays should result in eating too much, drinking too much, and telling progressively funny jokes. Preparing a funny Thanksgiving joke or two will take the stress off of you to perform during a lull in conversation and act as a diversion for prying questions about your personal life. Thanksgiving is a holiday that lacks the commercialized influence of Christmas and holds fewer gimmicks and tomfoolery than the Halloween holiday season. The simplest way to have a funny Thanksgiving is to come armed with Thanksgiving jokes that will entertain the whole family. The combination of extended families, alcohol, and football is guaranteed to cause trouble, however, using humor to keep the energy positive is a surefire way for everyone to enjoy the day and go home with their own jokes and Thanksgiving stories.