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67 Orphan Jokes With No Limits (or Parents)

Orphan jokes are harmless jests at the expense of children who have lost their parents. Orphan jokes are a type of dark humor that many know how to craft but rarely retell because they are easily taken the wrong way. A skilled hand is needed when telling orphan jokes. The wrong expression or a mistimed delivery and the big laughs you have worked towards are lost.

Jokes about orphans
Orphan jokes are a dark but harmless form of humor about children without parents

Humor is a powerful tool that can bring people together and ease tensions between groups. One benefit of telling orphan jokes is that humor will help break the overbearing stigma about growing up without parents and humor helps create a lighter mood. Humor is often at its most powerful when dealing with sensitive subjects because, at the end of the day, laughter is a very good medicine.

The funniest orphan jokes make light of the situation but never insult anybody for being an orphan. The logic applies if you are telling dark orphan jokes or even messed up and offensive jokes about orphans. The humor is in the language and offense, but there should never be malice in the intent.

Good dark humor jokes about orphans carry over to fatherless jokes, where the butt of the joke is usually the absent parent themselves. Fatherless jokes carry a sharper edge; however, the edge is directed towards the abandoner rather than the abandonee. An understanding of intent and how to deliver a joke is crucial in any form of humor. Comedy should have no limitations and no boundaries that cannot be pushed a long way. However, jokes can be delivered badly, and much of the blame for that lies squarely with the comedian rather than the subject matter.

Therefore, venture forth bravely. The following collection of 67 orphan jokes is edgy and will push comedic boundaries, but if you learn how to use them wisely, you’ll never be short of a few laughs ever again.

14 of the funniest orphan jokes you’ll ever read

The funniest orphan jokes are a careful cathartic release with a potentially offensive theme. However, good humor has no limits and can approach sensitive or taboo subjects in a way that very few other walks of life can achieve. The best orphan jokes are not designed to cause offense or even shock. Orphan jokes take a situation and place a comedic spin on things. There will always be people that take offense to different senses of humor; however, humor is often a form of therapy, and if an orphan joke if worth telling if it helps make someone’s day a little brighter.

Below are 14 of the funniest orphan jokes ever uttered.

1. Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.

2. What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie

3. What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
Get in the Batmobile, Robin.

4. A large number of orphans become highly successful.
When your only options are to go big or go home, the decision is kind of out of your hands.

5. Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

6. Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.

7. Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.

8. Kid: Did you know the f in orphan stands for family?
Orphan: You don’t spell orphan with an f.
Kid: Exactly.

9. What store can an orphan never find?
Home Depot.

10. What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?

11. What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
At least someone chose Pikachu.

12. I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

13. What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.

14. Orphans bake bread with what kind of flour?

8 Laugh out loud dark jokes about orphans

Laugh out loud dark jokes about orphans are riffs on orphans that guarantee an audible chuckle. Orphan jokes are heavy subject matter and dealing with such serious and sensitive issues means taking a darker approach is appropriate. Dark jokes about orphans are funny, not because they are designed to offend, but because they take a stark and hard look at an undeniably sad situation. The key to telling dark jokes about orphans is to make sure you never make things personal and ensure your delivery style is en-pointe.

Below are 8 dark orphan jokes guaranteed to make you laugh out loud.

15. Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can’t hit home

16. What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
An orphan.

17. What is the similarity between an orphan and an open can of coke?
Both have lost their pop.

18. How do you make an orphan’s hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their folks come home.

19. Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk. Read more:

20. What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.

21. Welcome to Alex’s orphanage.
You make em; we take em.

22. What is the difference between a nose and a ginger orphan?
A nose gets picked more.

8 Incredibly dark orphan jokes from Reddit

Dark orphan jokes from Reddit are among the internets darkest orphan joke offerings. Love it or hate it, Reddit has garnered itself a place in modern society. As a result, Reddit has become a home to the kind of material that never had a platform before. Dark orphan jokes are dangerous and always need to be handled with care. Reddit, however, is not a place for those with a sensitive disposition. You have been warned.

Below are 8 incredibly dark orphan jokes that can all be found on Reddit.

23. What do orphans get at Xmas?

24. Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans; their parents will get mad.
Oh…. Wait… Continue.

25. Why was the orphans’s first phone an IphoneX?
Because it didn’t have a home button.

26. Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?
Because they can’t find the motherboard!

27. What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.

28. Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
E.T. was actually able to call home.

29. What’s an orphan’s favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me

30. Can an orphan eat at a family restaurant?

8 Funny but messed up jokes about orphans

Funny but messed up jokes about orphans are those that toe closest to the line of what is acceptable. Many jokes will offend someone, but messed up jokes about orphans are more likely to cause a commotion than any others. The danger of telling messed up or offensive jokes about orphans is in conveying the wrong message. For those comedians willing to walk that fine line, it is vitally important they perfect their delivery. One misjudged moment of timing or expression and everything can turn sour in an instant. Messed up jokes about orphans carry a high degree of risk and reward, as evidenced by the jokes below. Read and repeat them at your own peril.

Below are 8 messed up and offensive jokes about orphans.

31. Why are Orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.

32. What did the priest say to Jimmy Saville when they visited the orphanage?
Let us prey.

33. Punching orphans is a great cure for boredom.
I mean, it’s not like they can tell their parents or anything.

34. Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______

35. I saw a kid sitting in rags by the side of the road. I asked, “are you an orphan?”
“Yes,” he replied. “What gave me away?”
“Your parents, for a start.”

36. I lost my job at the local orphanage because I kept putting parenting books into the fiction section.

37. That’s the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
People tend to come back for their dogs.

38. Why are orphans so fond of tennis?
Because it’s the only love they ever get.

8 Hilarious orphanage dark humor jokes

Orphanage dark humor jokes incorporate a centralized setting for many in the world of orphan comedy. Orphanages carry with them an often overbearing air. Turning them into the subject of a joke helps take away their menace. Much like any other dark joke, the line is close, but it is one that must be walked in order to pull off the joke correctly. Telling orphanage dark humor jokes requires a deft touch and an understanding of your audience. Don’t expect to walk into a brand new situation with fresh faces and busy out a grim orphanage joke straight away.

Below are 8 hilarious orphanage dark humor jokes for use in special situations.

39. Why should all orphanages be built next to a cemetery?
So the kids can still see their parents.

40. I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move.
I got fired from my job at the orphanage

41. What do you tell an orphan with two black eyes?
Nothing, you’ve already warned them twice.

42. What’s big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation check to the orphanage.

43. I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team
Because I hate dealing with parents.

44. Every night’s a party when you live in an orphanage.
The parents are never home.

45. Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why are you doing that?
Dad: So you won’t get bored there

46. Do you know why it’s called an orphanage?
Because they couldn’t call it an orphan’s home.

9 Fatherless jokes you can’t help but laugh at

Fatherless jokes (not to be confused with dad jokes) are a versatile variety of orphan jokes because they combine both those without a dad and those without either parent. Oftentimes, fatherless jokes carry a great degree of anger and malice toward the target. Fatherless jokes, unlike their orphan joke companions, deal with issues of abandonment and resentment towards the absent figure. Orphan jokes provide humor in something painful and sad, while fatherless jokes aim to bring a smile by venting negative feelings and resentment.

Below are 9 fatherless jokes that will bring a smile to anybody’s face.

47. What do you call a priest who grew up as an orphan?
Father Les.

48. I wrote to my dad about what was so great about leaving me behind.
He still hasn’t written me back.

49. Why do so many deadbeat dads love to play poker?
It’s the only time they can call or raise anyone without any genuine obligations.

50. Why are so many mechanics, absent fathers?
Because they love to nut and bolt.

51. What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when I call him.

52. How many absent fathers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know, mine left to buy one and hasn’t come back yet.

53. Stevie Wonder is the worst kind of deadbeat dad.
He never sees his kids.

54. Most orphans eventually turn to the Church.
Not because they are religious; they just want someone to call father.

55. Why do most orphans prefer boomerangs to father figures?
Because they know a boomerang will likely come back.

4 Unlikely yo mama jokes for orphans

Yo Mama jokes for orphans are unlikely to be told because, orphans don’t have a mother. However, that doesn’t mean there is no room for a few yo mama jokes directed at orphans. The main difference between regular yo mama jokes and those for orphans is the degree of harshness. There is a little more spice and venom behind orphan-facing yo mama jokes. Venom gives the jokes their substance; however, it also makes the joke that much riskier.

Below are four yo mama jokes specially designed for orphans.

56. What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mama.

57. Yo mama is so fat her belt size is the equator,
Yeah, well, yo daddy is so smart he took one look at you and left.

58. Yo mama is so dead, and now you’re an orphan.

59. The worst comedy gig I ever had was telling yo mama jokes at an orphanage fundraiser.

4 Edgy knock-knock dark orphan jokes

Knock-knock dark orphan jokes are tricky but emotionally rich jokes that tickle the funny bone in just the right way. Telling knock-knock orphan jokes or any other form of dark humor is risky but carries a much deeper laugh than something more topical. The best jokes cut to the quick, dealing a sharp punch that leaves an impression. Knock-knock dark orphan jokes do just that.

Below are four edgy but powerful knock-knock dark orphan jokes.

60. I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly there was no door to knock on.

61. Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Not your dad.

62. Knock, knock,
Orphan: Who’s there?
Orphan: Movie who?
Home Alone!

63. Knock knock
Who’s there?
The police, you’re parents are dead.

4 Examples of an orphan baseball joke

An orphan baseball joke incorporates orphan children and America’s favorite sport. A good orphan baseball joke is few and far between; however, the ones that do exist nearly all revolve around the same concept. While it’s cruel that orphans have no parents, the humor is not intended as a weapon. Rather, an orphan baseball joke is a tool that can help inject humor into a situation that can be emotionally challenging.

Below are four examples of a sharp orphan baseball joke.

64. Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.

65. Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home plate.

66. Why was the orphans first baseball game the same as his first night in foster care?
He finished it sweaty and bleeding, but at least his foster dad came.

67. Why does an orphanage baseball team lose every game?
Because none of them know how to get home.

Are there any limits to orphan jokes?

No, there are no limits to orphan jokes if they’re delivered in the correct way and at the right moment. As with all forms of humor, timing and tone are the two keys behind a successful joke. A good joke gets a laugh because of how it’s told, whether it’s deadpan or dry comedians to satirist and cabaret shows. Orphan jokes don’t have any limits but they require careful delivery because they wouldn’t be funny if spoken normally or read from a script for the first time. Keep in mind that if dark humor jokes, like orphan jokes, that lack proper delivery they become statements and can be easily misconstrued.

While people may say all humor has its limits, the truth is that humor offers people an escape; a concept that cancel-culture has long since forgotten. Dark humor or any form of joke that runs the edge and cuts deep are not intended to offend, but rather to make light of an otherwise heavy and bleak moment of life.