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205 Birthday Jokes that Find the Humor in Aging

Birthday jokes are a form of celebratory humor that commemorate someone’s special day. Birthday jokes provide joviality by showing appreciation for both those you care about and the passage of time. Additionally, birthday humor lightens the mood around senescence and mortality. For these reasons, it’s important to have the right joke for the occasion, as you want to have sensitivity for that person’s special day while retaining enough edge to be humorous. A well-executed birthday joke adds to the merriment of the day while remaining sentimental and affectionate.

Best birthday jokes
Birthday jokes use celebratory humor to embrace aging and commemorate others

Many components need to come together to tell funny birthday jokes. For example, the tone needs to be suitable if you’re telling a dad joke, sharing kid-friendly quips, or a more mature form of humor best left for an adult party. What makes a good birthday joke is a subtle complexity built around appreciating the themes of the joke, celebration, aging, and witty wordplay. A mom joke or a cheesy one-liner will be appreciated as long as the tone fits the occasion and the humor is relatable.

One challenge of crafting a great birthday joke is striking the right balance between good-natured cheek and simplistic hilarity. Overloading on either one ruins the experience and leaves an off-key note hanging in the air. Another challenge to celebratory humor is navigating the diverse tastes and sensibilities of your audience. What one person finds hilarious, another might find confusing or even offensive. The trick is to focus on universal themes like aging, friendship, and cake, as this increases the likelihood of your joke resonating if you don’t know someone well but still want to appreciate them. Keep in mind that dirty birthday jokes have their time and place, but these are more niche and often reserved for close relationships.

For many, the older we get, the more innocence and reverence about aging is lost with every birthday joke. The humor consequently takes on increasingly bleak undertones. However, the themes of the joke still emphasize the sentiment and importance of celebration albeit in a mature context. Birthday jokes about getting older and the passage of time are consequently perennial favorites, as are cheesy birthday puns, riddles, and clean humor for adults.

Knowing how to tell birthday jokes for different ages is another key consideration. Birthday humor for mom or dad is going to need a different touch than telling silly birthday jokes for kids or the customarily raucous welcome to adulthood jokes for a 21st birthday. There’s additionally room for niche humor about pop culture icons like Chuck Norris that make fun of aging and similar topics. Regardless of what is being celebrated or the audience listening in, birthday humor is a part of almost every culture on the planet and only serves one purpose—to spread joy and do their part to make someone’s day all the more special.

80 Funniest birthday jokes for all ages

Funny birthday jokes are humorous quips that uplift special celebrations. Birthdays are a time for joy, but they bring up anxieties about aging for many. Fortunately, the pretense of celebration allows for plenty of opportunities for humor. Jokes keep us from getting too fraught on our special day through lighthearted quips found on birthday cards, gift tags, social media posts, voicemails, and more. A funny, well-executed birthday joke is consequently the perfect way to add some humor and lightheartedness to a day that grows more sensitive with each passing year. The secret to execution is finding the right balance between clever wordplay and silliness. Celebration humor should make you smile without being too offensive or crude, the funniest birthday quips being playful but clever enough to make you chuckle.

Best funny birthday jokes
Funniest jokes for wishing a happy birthday

Below are 20 examples of funny birthday jokes that hit all the right notes.

1. Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat birthday cake?
They always forget to blow out the candles.

2. Why was the birthday girl sweating loads at her party?
Because everybody kept toasting her.

3. What sort of birthday cake do ghosts like?
I scream cake.

4. What sort of birthday cake is guaranteed to break your teeth?
Marble cake.

5. Why do parents always remind you of exactly how old you are?
Because age is a relative thing.

6. What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up?
A light bulb.

7. What do they call it when you attend a ghost’s birthday?
The life of the party.

8. What is the meaning of a true friend?
Someone who remembers your birthday but not your age.

9. Why did the kid smash their cake with a hammer?
Because it was a pound cake.

10. Why don’t adults put candles on their cake to match their age?
Because you often need a permit to have a bonfire.

11. Why do chemists never make up birthday jokes?
Because all the funny ones argon!

12. Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday?
Someone gave him a red card.

13. How does a tea bag wish its friend a happy birthday?
Happy birthday, best tea.

14. You know you’re getting old when…
Happy hour is a nap.

15. The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

16. You know you’re getting old when…
There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

17. I threw a ball for my dog. It’s a bit extravagant, I know, but it was his birthday, and he looked great in a dinner jacket.

18. You know you’re getting old when…
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

19. What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up?
A light bulb.

20. What did the pirate say on this 80th birthday?

What are the best 18th birthday jokes?

The best eighteenth-birthday jokes target the momentous occasion that most people legally become adults. Landing 18th birthday jokes successfully requires finding the right balance between clever wordplay and silly antics. A well-executed 18th birthday joke makes you smile while playfully pointing out that adulthood is not as great as it looked when you were a child.

Below are eight of the best 18th-birthday jokes to welcome the celebrant into adulthood.

21. I got a picture of myself in a locket for my 18th birthday.
I am now independent.

22. Because you only turn 18 once, make the most out of your birthday.
Soon, you’ll start to dread these occasions instead of looking forward to them.

23. Wishing you a very Happy 18th Birthday!
Enjoy the last two years until your glorious teenage years are over.
Then you’re going to be burdened with all the miseries of life! Haha.

24. A girl was about to celebrate her 18th birthday.
The mother asked the girl what would she like as a gift.
As the girl was not materialistic, she said even a heartfelt message that would make her cry would suffice.
And the mother said, “You’re adopted”.

25. So it was my 18th birthday the other day.
Now I can just buy my dad those cigarettes he’s been looking for for the last 12 years.

26. When I was a baby, my parents used to bathe me in really cheap Australian lager…
It wasn’t until my 18th birthday that they told me I’d been fostered.

27. Dad bought me an escort for my 18th birthday!
I was a little disappointed when she turned out to be old, smelled terrible, and was filthy. She definitely had a ton of experience, but she was very rusty.
I asked Dad to get his money back, I don’t like Fords.

What are the best 21st birthday jokes?

The best 21st birthday jokes celebrate the milestone of one’s maturation into adulthood while making fun of their relative lack of life experience. Jokes for people turning twenty-one tend to focus on new grown-up responsibilities, exaggerating the end of youth and the beginning of the daily grind. Moreover, as Americans only legally become able to drink at age 21, much of the birthday humor aimed at this age makes flippant references to binge drinking and poor life decisions.

Below are ten of the funniest 21st-birthday jokes to usher you into adulthood.

28. Turning twenty-one is the night when you can legally do everything you’ve been doing since you were fifteen.

29. Twenty-first birthday is the only phrase that truly rhymes with Tequila.

30. Welcome to the age where ‘hair of the dog’ becomes a legitimate hangover cure.

31. The difference between Europeans and Americans…
An American on their 21st birthday: Wow! I can finally drink!
A European on their 21st birthday: Wow! I really ought to cut back on my drinking!

32. A woman gave birth to twin boys. Unfortunately, she was unable to keep them, so she put them up for adoption. She was able to find loving homes for both of them overseas, but it was many years since she had seen them.
Then, just before their 21st birthday, she got two letters, one from Egypt, the other from Spain. Each son had tracked down their biological mother and wanted to visit her.
She was overjoyed; she would finally see her identical twin sons! Jamal from Egypt, and Juan from Spain! Just before they were to come to visit, though, the woman got another letter from Egypt. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, her son from Egypt was unable to visit that year.
She still got to see her son from Spain, though. So her husband tried to console her, saying, “Once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal.”

33. Twenty-one is the age when you start getting excited about things like home decor and lower car insurance rates.

34. What’s the worst present for a 21-year-old to get?
Hair loss.

35. On your 21st birthday, remember that whether it’s vodka or an opportunity…
Take the shot and chase your dreams.

36. Happy 21st birthday. Just remember that whatever happens, ‘it was my birthday’ is not a suitable legal defense.

37. Your 21st birthday is always going to be the best birthday you’ll never remember.

38. A little boy is born with a terrible birth defect: he has only a head, no torso, no limbs.
On his 21st birthday, his friends take him to the bar to celebrate. One of them pours his first beer down his throat–and poof! All of a sudden, a neck and torso pop out of his head.
His friends are stunned. “Quick, get him another one!” So one of them helps him drink another beer–and poof! Two arms pop out of the torso.
Amazed, they order another beer, which the boy (now having arms) proudly drinks all by himself. Poof! Two legs pop out of the torso. All his friends cheer as the guy gets up to take a few steps. But he’s unsteady on his new legs (not helped by three beers in rapid succession) and after a few steps, he stumbles through the front door and into the street and gets flattened by a bus.
“Bummer,” says one of the guys in the bar. “He should have quit while he was ahead.”

What are the best 30th birthday jokes?

The best 30th-birthday jokes apply comedy to what can otherwise be an overpowering and life-questioning event. Turning thirty is a significant milestone, and humor acts as a way to make the day more memorable and less worrisome at the prospect of senescence. 30th birthday jokes involve playful jabs at the birthday person’s advancing age and the changes that come with entering a new decade. Jokes for turning thirty additionally have a near-medicinal effect, numbing the worries of growing older. A good 30th birthday joke needs to be playful and relatable to anybody of the same age as the quip will otherwise fall flat. Moreover, the best 30th birthday jokes make every effort to overplay and exaggerate the loss of your twenties.

Below are twelve of the funniest 30th birthday jokes and quotes for the prime of your life.

39. One good thing about turning 30: you’re not turning 40.

40. A woman was a little emotional about turning 30. Any sign of advancing age was cause for upset.
One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, “Have you seen this?”
“What?” he said. “You mean the wrinkles?”

41. The worst thing about turning 30 is taking a second breath to blow out all the candles.

42. Don’t tell people you’re turning 30.
Just say you’re 18 with 12 years of experience.

43. Turning 30 isn’t too bad.
You’ll get over it in a decade.

44. Welcome to your thirties, a time when Ibuprofen becomes an acceptable breakfast.

45. 30 is only 120 months older than 20, and it’s going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun.

46. Don’t think of it as turning 30.
We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday.

47. Today, you are approximately eleven thousand, one-hundred and seventy-five and a half days old!
Now, 30 doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

48. What’s the difference between your 20s and your 30s?
You look ten years old, joints hurt for no reason, and everything is just slightly less fun.

49. Congratulations on turning 30.
You are now the same age your childhood self could never even comprehend.

50. Inside every thirty-year-old is an eighteen-year-old asking, ‘What happened?

What are the best 40th birthday jokes?

The best 40th birthday jokes consist of playful humor that takes the sting out of turning the big 4-0. A well-executed 40th birthday joke does not hide from the reality of aging, nor the slow and steady descent towards becoming a senior citizen. The jokes’ humorous yet sentimental tone helps guard against anxieties of aging by poking fun at yourself or the person you’re celebrating. Whether you are worried by age or embrace it, forty remains a milestone moment and deserves to be celebrated or commiserated with a few good wisecracks.

Below are ten 40th birthday jokes to take the sting out of turning old.

51. Don’t let turning 40 get you down.
At your age, it’s hard to get back up again.

52. One of the key signs of turning 40 is when you walk past a bathroom and think,
“I may as well pee while I’m here.”

53. When you think about it, 40 really is the perfect age.
You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more.

54. The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet.

55. You know you’re 40 when you have a party, and the neighbors don’t even realize.

56. Welcome to being 40, where night sweats and hot flashes become nature’s way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement.

57. Turning 40 is the time when an all-nighter now means not having to get up to go for a pee.

58. Welcome to your forties, that time when you finally get your head together…
But your body starts falling apart.

59. The real tragedy of turning 40 is that there are so many candles and so little cake.

60. They call forty the start of middle age because it’s when your age starts to show around your middle.

What are the best 50th birthday jokes?

The best 50th birthday jokes embrace the middle-age life stage through jovial quips. The secret to a good 50th birthday joke is not to shy away from themes of aging, and instead highlight the good and bad points of middle age, exaggerating them yet never straying too far from the harsh reality of the situation. Despite all lighthearted ribbing, always return to the fact that turning fifty is a great achievement. However you feel about it, there is valid cause for celebration and the birthday jokes should maintain a tone of celebration and cheer.

Below are ten 50th birthday jokes that make aging a little more fun.

61. Looking 50 is great!
If you’re 60.

62. How do you know you’re fifty?
When your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

63. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you turn 50.
It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

64. Menopause gives you the freedom to say anything.
The only filters in my house are for the coffee.

65. Turning 50 means it’s now more socially acceptable to dribble and accidentally piss yourself from time to time.

66. What do you call a 50-year-old soldier guarding a building?
Half a sentry!

67. Why can you trust your friends more after turning 50?
Because you can’t even remember each other’s names, let alone your deepest secrets!

68. “It’s your birthday? How old are you?” asks the man’s friend.
“I’m seven and one-seventh.” replies the man.
“How’s that? You look about 50 to me?” asks the friend.
“Every time I chat up a nice lady, she calls me an old dog, so I figure I get to count age in dog years now!”

69. How do you know you’ve hit your 50s?
In preparation for a big sneeze, you cross your legs really hard and hope for the best!

70. Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

What are the best 60th birthday jokes?

Sixtieth birthday jokes are a testament to a life lived and a light-hearted warning of the approaching complexities of old age. Birthday humor reminds us that turning sixty is no small feat, and while you may feel ready for the scrap heap, you’ve still got a few more years to go. Funny 60th birthday jokes make your passage from middle to old age that much smoother and more enjoyable through playful quips. The jokes do point out all of the flaws and lingering memories of youth, but by the time you reach sixty, however, the punchlines have lost their sting and you’re able to enjoy the humor for what it is.

Below are ten of the best 60th birthday jokes you’ll hate to forget.

71. What is a sure sign that you are getting older?
You and your teeth rarely sleep together.

72. How do you know when you’re getting too old?
When the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

73. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time!

74. Once you turn 60, you no longer need a spoon to stir the creamer in your coffee.
You just pour the milk in and let your shaky hand do the job.

75. The joy of being 60 means you start getting carded again, but now cashiers want to see your senior card to make sure you’re old enough to qualify for the discount.

76. At 60, you stop adding blueberries to your cornflakes and just sprinkle your morning medications onto them instead.

77. At 60, fortune tellers read your face instead of your palm.

78. Now that you are 60, it’s going to take you all night to do what you used to do all day.

79. Being 60 means you’re old enough to realize you don’t want to be a teenager again but young enough to wish you still looked like one.

80. Turning 60 is a lot like riding a bike – except the bike is on fire, and everything is on fire, and you’re on fire, too.

15 Birthday jokes for kids

Birthday jokes for kids are some of the simplest forms of celebratory humor. Children highly appreciate birthdays, it being one of the most important days of the year for them. As a result, any humor surrounding the celebration is especially impactful. A joke is the pinnacle of maturity for many kids, which adds to the effectiveness of the humor and offers a chance for kids to laugh with adults. Successfully telling birthday jokes for kids is all about finding the right balance between silliness and absurdity without overcomplicating themes. The format of the quips should follow a simple set-up and punchline. You should additionally keep in mind that birthday jokes for kids toy with the corniness of dad jokes but lack that subtle level of stupid sophistication.

Below are fifteen fantastic birthday jokes for kids that you will be telling for years.

Best birthday jokes for kids
Best birthday jokes for kids

81. How does a clam spend its birthday?

82. What sort of music are birthday balloons scared of?

83. What did the elephant get for its birthday?
A trunk full of gifts.

84. What is the similarity between birthday cake and playing baseball?
Both rely on good batters.

85. When is a birthday cake similar to a golf ball?
When it’s sliced.

86. What did the ocean say on its birthday?
Nothing — it just waved.

87. What did the buffalo say when his son left the birthday party?

88. What do computers want for their birthdays?
An upgrade.

89. What did the toilet paper do when his friends threw him a surprise birthday party?
He just rolled with it.

90. What’s the cleanest type of birthday joke?
One that comes as a total soap-prise

91. Why should you never invite a thief to your birthday?
Because they always take the cake.

92. What do you say to a kangaroo on their birthday?
Hoppy Birthday!

93. What happens when your dad chugs eight sodas at your birthday party?
He burps 7-Up.

94. What did the birthday card say to the stamp?
Stick with me; we’re going places!

95. What is a tornado’s favorite birthday party game?

10 Birthday jokes for teens

Birthday jokes for teens prove that the surliness of adolescence is just a front. Teens are the coolest kids on the block, and that often brings with it an attitude that is less than desirable. However, teens drop the act and rediscover their sense of humor when their birthday rolls around. Comedy targeted at teens works hard to get a laugh by straddling the line between childish and adult—while remaining clean and slightly cheesy. Sharing celebratory humor with teens takes a higher level of skill thanks to the hormones in play. However, comics with teenage children should never shy away from trying a new birthday joke or two.

Below are ten chuckle-worthy birthday jokes for teens.

96. Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
He’s a fun guy.

97. Why do teenagers always forget their past birthday parties?
Because they’re always too focused on the present.

98. Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday?
Because the teacher said, it was a piece of cake.

99. What do you get when you eat an entire birthday cake?
A stomach ache.

100. What should you say if someone gives you dirt or sand on your birthday?
I appreciate the sediment.

101. What do teenage owls want for their birthday?
Nothing, they don’t give a hoot about birthdays.

102. How do you know you’re the least favorite twin?
When your parents ask you to blow up the balloons for your brother’s surprise party.

103. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for his birthday?
He felt his presents.

104. The hamburger walked into a bar and said, “It’s my birthday. Can I get a beer?”
The bartender replied, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.

105. Why did Mike Tyson leave his birthday party angry?
Because they ran out of punch.

10 Clean birthday jokes for adults

Clean birthday jokes for adults are proof that not everything celebrating grown-ups has to be vulgar. Clean adult humor about aging and parties are important as they allow adults to fool around without worrying about their kids listening. Furthermore, a good, clean birthday joke tackles mature subjects that kids won’t necessarily understand but adults appreciate. The jokes don’t need to be complex, but they do emphasize enjoying the moment and having a good time. Additionally, clean birthday jokes are even better for adults because they are a throwback to the simpler times of childhood when a knock-knock joke or a fart is the highest point of entertainment.

Below are ten clean birthday jokes for adults that are genuinely funny.

106. Forget about the past; you can’t change it.
Forget about the future; you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

107. Why do candles love birthdays?
They like to get lit.

108. What did the bald man say when he was given a comb as a present for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

109. You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

110. Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist?
Because it was feeling crumby.

111. What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.

112. Why do leprechauns prefer cash to presents on their birthday?
Because money is green.

113. What did the lawyer drink on her birthday?
Subpoena colada.

114. Did you know falcons only live 12-15 years? That means every falcon that celebrates its birthday was born in the 21st century, which makes them…
Millennium Falcons.

115. There’s nothing better than presents from friends and family on your birthday.
Unless it’s the presence of friends and family on your birthday.

116. My girlfriend said all she wanted for her birthday was a ring.
I have no idea why she got all mad and hung up the phone when I called her.

13 Dirty birthday jokes

Dirty birthday jokes are an adult-oriented form of celebrating your special day. The comedy is consequently mature, though the point of dirty humor isn’t just a matter of being vulgar. Rather, a degree of skill and comedic timing is needed to pull off good dirty birthday jokes that an adult audience would appreciate. Furthermore, the jokes dabble in the art of dark humor and boundary-pushing wisecracks only told to adults. You must therefore flirt with the line between celebration and crassness while remaining firmly based on the side of acceptability.

Below are 13 devilishly dirty birthday jokes for mature ears only.

117. Why did the man’s lesbian neighbors get him a Rolex for his birthday?
Surely, they misunderstood when he said, “I wanna watch.”

118. What do you call a pinata at an emo kid’s birthday party?
The birthday boy.

119. What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.

120. Why did the husband buy for his wife’s birthday a pair of slippers and a dildo?
In case she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

121. A man is constantly asking his wife for a threesome for his birthday, and every year, the wife says no.
This continues for several years until finally, the wife has enough and finally agrees.
“Ok, George, yes, you can have your damn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?”
George quickly responds with… “Well, do you remember Sarah, who works in accounting at my office?”
“Yes, of course….” the wife responds.
“Well, with her… and one of her friends,” George responded.

122. For his friend’s birthday, a man sent him a video of a stripper counting to 10.
He says, “It’s not much, but it’s the thot that counts.”

123. What did the armless boy get for his birthday?
Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

124. Did you hear about the blind kid who got a cheese grater for his birthday?
A week later, he said that it was the most violent book he had ever read.

125. How is a birthday card like a masturbating knight?
Both of them come in the mail.

126. A priest is hearing confession.
“Hey, Padre, I had sex with two nineteen-year-old girls last night. It was my seventieth birthday. I stopped in a bar for a drink, and one thing led to another…”
The priest offers guidance, then suggests contrition: “Pray the rosary every morning for a week, then ask God for strength to resist temptation.”
“Padre, how do I do that? I’m Jewish”.
“Jewish? Why are you telling me this?”
“I’m seventy! I’m telling everybody!”

127. Did you hear about the ISIS children’s birthday party?
Musical chairs were pretty slow, but man, was pass the parcel quick.

128. A kid bought his brother a dictionary for his birthday.
“Why did you get me this?” the brother asked.
He said, “Because you are stupid.”
Later, the brother bought him a dildo for his birthday.
“Why did you get me this?” he asked.
He said, “Because you are a cunt.”

129. Did you hear about the boyfriend who organized a secret Bukkake party for his girlfriend’s birthday?
Everybody came, you should have seen her face.

7 Birthday jokes for men

Birthday jokes for men emphasize the idea that men never really grow up. Sharing or coming up with celebration humor targeted at men consequently leans on childish set-ups and punchlines. That said, the target audience is made up of adults. A good birthday joke for men should retain a playful but witty and clever edge that adults would appreciate. Thematically, the quips should make them feel young and carefree but laugh out loud at the same time. Given how eager men are to have a laugh and joke around, anybody is well-positioned to tell a good birthday joke. Your efforts will be appreciated as long as you hit that delicate balance between clever and silly.

Below are seven great birthday jokes for men that tick all the boxes.

130. Why did the wife change the subject every time she asked her husband what he wanted for his birthday?
He asked for a Segway.

131. My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

132. What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.

133. Were any famous men born on your birthday?
No, only babies.

134. Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks on their birthday?
In case they get a hole-in-one!

135. Why does a joke become a dad joke on its 18th birthday?
Because that’s when it’s fully groaning.

136. It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. I asked her what she wanted as a present. She said. “Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards

8 Birthday jokes for women

Birthday jokes for women show our appreciation for the ladies in our lives. Women-focused birthday humor follows a slightly different tack than their male counterparts. The quips do not emphasize a childish quality but instead an appreciative if mischievous tone. The best celebratory humor targeted at women is clever, funny and makes them feel special. Birthdays are a time for joy, but for women, you must go the extra mile to make sure they feel loved with every punchline. Therefore, you must hit a delicate balance between sweet and playful for the joke to be successful.

Below are eight hilarious birthday jokes for women that they will almost always appreciate.

Best birthday jokes for women
Best birthday jokes for women

137. What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Forget it once.

138. Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.

139. What did the angry cake say to the birthday girl?
“Do you want a piece of me?”

140. On my 18th birthday, my grandmother shared some wisdom,
“Remember these two words that will open a lot of doors throughout your life: Push and pull.”

141. Some say women age like fine wine.
It’s a shame you aged like milk. Still, have a great birthday.

142. It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies.
That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.

143. A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.
She rejects them all.
“Well, you tell me what you want then.”
“I want a divorce,” she replies.
“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

144. A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses, the wife blurts out, “I love you.”
The husband responds, “Is that you or the wine talking?”
Wife: “This is me, I’m talking to the wine.”

10 Birthday dad jokes

Birthday dad jokes are a classic form of birthday humor that combines celebratory themes and corniness. The format of this type of birthday humor embellishes the silly nature of the occasion and the general cheesiness of dad jokes. Dad humor is ideal for a celebration because it gives dads a chance to create a wisecrack that’s equal parts cringe-worthy and hilarious. Anyone can tell a dad joke, but actual dads are experts due to a desire to embarrass their kids. You won’t go wrong with a good birthday dad joke if you’re celebrating your children or vice versa. Just make sure you are prepared for a response driven by groans and eye-rolls, which, in this instance, act as an acceptable substitute for laughter.

Below are ten incredible birthday dad jokes that are worth their weight in groans.

145. Did you hear that the tree cried at their birthday party?
Yeah, apparently, things got pretty sappy!

146. How do dogs like to celebrate their birthday?
With a ball.

147. Why didn’t the pony sign at the birthday party?
Because it was a little hoarse.

148. A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon in his arms.
“Do you make fish cakes?” the man asks.
“Yes, we do.” The owner replies.
“Great stuff, can I have one? It’s his birthday!”

149. Son: “Dad, can I have a phone for my birthday?”
Dad: “No, you’re too young. You don’t need one.”
Son: “But Dad, that’s not fair. My friends all have one.”
Dad: “OK, I guess you can have my old phone.”
Son: “But your old phone isn’t cool.”
Dad: “Well, it’s my way or the Huawei, I’m afraid.”

150. Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.

151. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus have in common?
They were all born on holidays.

152. How do you know when a wedding cake is sad?
Because it is in tiers.

153. Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?
Because it doesn’t work to put them on the bottom.

154. Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday?
Oh yes — he had a whale of a time.

6 Birthday jokes for mom

Birthday jokes for moms are sweet, sentimental quips targeted at mothers. The humor differs from celebratory dad comedy because it’s typically told to moms rather than by them. Furthermore, a well-meaning birthday joke shows your mother just how much she means to you rather than attempting to embarrass her. Celebration humor for moms consequently needs to make her feel special and make her laugh so you should carefully consider the sentiment conveyed. Children are best at telling a good birthday joke for mom because they tend to be easily affectionate. Overall, however, sappy birthday jokes for moms are about finding a delicate balance between sweet and silly. Your mom will appreciate the effort, regardless of your age, and you’re guaranteed to make her day one to remember.

Below are six jokes about birthdays for Mom to show her how much you care.

155. Mom, to celebrate your birthday, you don’t need to do the dishes today.
You can leave them until tomorrow.

156. How do you know it’s your birthday as a mom?
It takes you longer to rest than it does to get tired.

157. What do you say to your mom when she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday?
Cheer up; old age doesn’t last that long.

158. Mom, we’re not saying you’re old, but when we went to the auctions yesterday, three people bid on you.

159. What glasses do all moms need to read birthday cards?
Wine glasses.

160. Moms are like fine wine,
They get more expensive with age!

12 One-liner birthday jokes

One-liner birthday jokes consist of short-form humor that emphasizes how less is more in comedy. The goal of a short birthday joke is to bring a speedy smile to someone’s face on their special day. Therefore, the execution of a good one-liner depends on finding the sweet spot between clever wordplay and brevity. A one-liner about birthdays should make you laugh without being too complicated or long-winded. Executing such a quip is simple as the humor fits into any birthday-related situation. Whether it’s being dropped into a conversation, an anecdotal segue, or alongside a more traditional birthday joke set-up, one-liners are funny and easy to use.

Below are twelve short and sharp one-liner birthday jokes.

161. Birthdays are healthy. Studies show that those who have more birthdays live longer.

162. Did you know that too many birthdays will kill you?

163. This whole birthday thing is getting old. Don’t you think?

164. Birthdays are just participation awards in life.

165. Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles: Do your job.

166. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

167. When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a female’s body. Then, I was born.

168. I’ve opened three birthday cards, and I’m already $150 up. I love being a postman.

169. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays, and the other never forgets them.

170. As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”

171. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up, remember… You can always change your birthday on Facebook.

172. Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional.

12 Corny birthday jokes

Corny birthday jokes add cheesy humor and lightheartedness to celebrations. We characterize corny humor for birthdays by its predictability and groan-worthy punchlines. The quips run parallel to dad comedy in terms of themes, though the set-ups have a more general purpose and a slightly lower rate of eye-rolls per punchline. The key to corny jokes about birthdays is striking the right chord between cheesiness, cleverness, and celebration. A good corny birthday joke should make you laugh without being patronizing or offensive as celebratory humor is generally playful and light-hearted.

Below are twelve corny birthday jokes that can’t help but make you giggle.

Best corny birthday jokes
Best corny birthday jokes

173. What does it mean when nobody turns up for your birthday party?
You get to have your cake and eat it.

174. What do you get a dragon for its birthday?
I have no idea, but you’d better hope it likes it.

175. What is the quickest birthday to celebrate?
Your twenty-second.

176. Why do kangaroos celebrate their birthdays once every four years?
They only get to celebrate them on leap years.

177. What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.

178. Why did the pickle have so much fun at the birthday party?
It relished every minute.

179. How do you know you’re no longer a spring chicken?
Because your birthday is in autumn.

180. How do people celebrate birthdays in heaven?
With angel food cake.

182. Which side is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that hasn’t been eaten yet.

183. What did the boy say when his parents hired a clown for his birthday party?
Thanks, I really appreciate the jester.

184. Why did the boy soap as a birthday present?
Because it was a soaprize party.

8 Birthday knock-knock jokes

Birthday knock-knock jokes are a simple form of celebration comedy. The humor involves following a specific but straightforward and well-known formula that is repurposed from occasion to occasion. The quips rely on wordplay and puns, making them a fun and engaging way to celebrate someone’s special day. To add, knock-knock birthday jokes are more generic and occasion-specific whereas other birthday joke styles are more directly suited to the celebrating individual.

Below are eight knock-knock jokes worth answering the door for.

185. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abbey who?
Abbey birthday.

186. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive who?
Olive what you got me for my birthday?

187. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Omar who?
Omar gosh, it’s your birthday.

188. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bacon who?
Bacon a cake for your birthday.

189. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bertha who?
Bertha day greetings to you.

190. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ivan who?
Ivan a piece of your cake.

191. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Osborn who?
Osborn today — it’s my birthday.

192. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday.

7 Chuck Norris birthday jokes

Chuck Norris birthday jokes are a niche breed of birthday humor that pays homage to the legendary martial artist and actor. Quips about Chuck Norris involve exaggerated and humorous claims about his strength, toughness, and invincibility. A good Chuck Norris birthday joke should make you laugh and marvel at the exaggerations while focusing on themes of celebration. Unlike other birthday quips, Chuck Norris humor is a highly niche variation and unlikely to be one used all too often. However, there will invariably be a time when the setup is perfect, and when it comes, you will be ready.

Below are seven frighteningly good Chuck Norris birthday jokes.

193. Chuck Norris doesn’t age, death is just too scared to come and claim him.

194. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; he decides what time it is.

195. Chuck Norris doesn’t blow out birthday candles; he suffocates them with the weight of his stare.

196. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death to keep getting older. He beats it fair and square.

197. Chuck Norris spent his birthdays doing what he loves best: delivering roundhouse kicks to America’s enemies.

198. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital.

199. Chuck Norris doesn’t blow out birthday candles; they surrender their flames willingly.

6 Birthday riddles

Birthday riddles adjust celebratory humor into a longer format. Clever and challenging riddles are the perfect addition to any birthday party if executed correctly. A good birthday riddle should be complex enough to make you pause yet simple enough to make you laugh at the answer. The main advantage of using riddles in a celebratory message is how they work the same regardless of age. Both children and adults enjoy a good riddle. To add, there is no need to get the answer right because birthday riddles are entertaining whether you guess wrong or right.

Below are six head-scratching birthday riddles to make you smile.

Best birthday riddles
Best birthday riddles

200. I’m something you get every year on your birthday, but I’m not a gift, and I’m not a cake. What am I?
A year older.

201. What burns longer, a pink candle or a blue one?
Neither, they both burn shorter.

202. I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A birthday candle.

203. I eat, I live. I breathe, I live. I drink, I die. What am I?
The flame on a candle.

204. How many birthdays does the average man have?
Only one. We just celebrate it every year.

205. You may have many of me, but never enough. After the last one arrives, you will have no more. What am I?
Your birthday.

10 Puns for birthdays

Puns for birthdays consist of clever wordplay that creates a funny celebratory message. Puns for birthdays typically involve themes about aging, cake, presents, or the general concept of a celebration. Utilizing puns injects a bit of lightheartedness into an occasion that many dread as they’re a simple and cheesy way to get a laugh. Some would argue that puns are cheap. However, for a birthday, lighthearted wordplay is exactly what some need to smile and set the wheels of fun in motion. Birthday puns are especially effective on cards or on gift tags because cheesiness is expected. Puns are effective when spoken, though best combined with some of the other jokes about birthdays we’ve listed in the article.

Below are ten simple but effective puns for birthdays.

205. What did one cheese say to the other on its birthday?
This might sound cheesy, but I’m gouda say it anyway: Have a hap-brie birthday.

206. Wishing you a whale of a good time on this birthday.

207. Here’s to another koala-ty birthday.

208. Happy birthday! Age is Irrelpehant.

209. You might be a year older, but you donut look like it.

210. Sending you s’more birthday wishes.

211. Another birthday has creped up on you.

212. Happy birthday, lettuce turnip the beet.

213. Hope you have a tea-rrific birthday.

214. Have a grate birthday in the cheesiest way possible.

Why do we tell birthday jokes?

We tell birthday jokes for two reasons. Firstly, telling birthday jokes adds some lightheartedness and joy to the occasion, making the birthday boy or girl feel special and loved. Furthermore, laughter is one of the best gifts you can give someone on their special day. Everybody would rather laugh the day away than sit in a stupor, dwelling on the stark reality that is the tireless passage of time. Secondly, telling birthday jokes is an easy way to ease tensions, break the ice, and get everyone in a good mood. From parties to the parade of well-wishers at work or home, sharing celebratory humor is an effective way to ease any nerves someone may be feeling about getting older.

What makes a funny birthday joke?

Clever wordplay and an appropriate level of complexity are what make a funny birthday joke. Topical relevancy is additionally needed, as the quips need to revolve around the day itself, the process of aging, and celebration. Creating a funny birthday joke is about finding the right balance between the humor’s main elements and delivering it with a nuanced understanding of comedic timing. A funny birthday joke should make someone laugh without being too offensive or crude (depending on the age of the birthday boy or girl). Additionally, the best jokes about birthdays often relate to the age, personality, or interests of the person you’re celebrating, all of which help to make them feel special and more willing to laugh.

What are some different ways to say happy birthday?

Some different ways to say happy birthday include heartfelt messages that convey a deeper depth of feeling. There are plenty of creative and fun ways to wish someone a happy birthday. Below are eight examples to get you started.

  • Many happy returns of the day!
  • Wishing you a day filled with love, laughter, and lots of cake!
  • Happy birthday to someone who’s ageless, timeless, and priceless!
  • Here’s to another year of making unforgettable memories!
  • May your birthday be as sweet as you are!
  • Sending you lots of hugs and kisses on your special day!
  • Cheers to a fabulous year ahead!
  • Have a birthday as amazing as you are!

Whether you choose a traditional way to say happy birthday or something more unique from the list above, the most important thing is to let the birthday person know how much they mean to you. The day is theirs, after all.