We’re all afraid of something. Spiders, the government, clowns, the clowns in government, commitment; and while all fears are valid, there’s a few out there that are pretty hilarious.
Though it’s wrong to mock someone in the throes of terror, unless they’re making a really amusing face, the ability to laugh at a strange fright is helpful to the healing process, since even sufferers often admit that these deep-seated anxieties often come from a place that’s as much amusing as it is abhorrent.
If nothing else, these 32 entertaining fears will help you pretend that your fright at Hummel figurines is totally normal.
Syngenesophobia – Fear of Relatives
We can all suffer from this around the holidays. It’s the fear of relatives or those who share our bloodline. It’s often caused by troubled relationships in the family, making anyone who shares familial traits a frightening specter.
Papaphobia – Fear of The Pope
This was understandable back when he was a former Nazi, but now there’s no reason to fear the pope. Unless it’s because of the weird bubble car or his giant hat. Then, we’re all a little scared.
Xanthophobia – Fear of Yellow
Hal Jordan as the Green Lantern had quite a lot of this, since yellow was his only weakness. The color most commonly associated with fear can actually cause it. Alanis would say that’s ironic, because it isn’t.
Lipophobia – Fear of Becoming Fat
Not just the fear of fat on your steak, or of being trapped on a plane with an overweight person who might decide cannibalism is the way to go after a crash, this is the dire fear of eventually gaining weight. Not to be confused with Anorexia Nervosa, which is an offshoot of OCD.
Linonophobia – Fear of String
Forget a career as a professional yo-yoer, a seamstress, tailor, or master quilter if you’re a linonophobic. In spite of the name, sufferers have shown no aversion to string theory, which makes physics a possible alternative job path.
Zemmiphobia – Fear of The Great Mole Rat
While these people tend to be afraid of all naked mole rats, the fear itself is of “The Great” mole rat, which, as far as modern science knows, isn’t a real thing.
Arachibutyrophobia – Fear of Peanut Butter Sticking to the Roof of One’s Mouth
A highly specific fear, but one that takes on a deeply physical sensation, sufferers say they often feel trapped should peanut butter stick to the roof of their mouth and worry it will do permanent damage to their palate by removing it forcefully.
Xerophobia – Fear of Dryness
If you insist on keeping a set of redundant humidifers going in your home and can’t even look at pictures of a desert, you might have xerophobia. This can also carry with it a fear of dying of thirst, and a trauma associated with being denied water.
Genuphobia – Fear of Knees and Kneeling
Similar to the term “genuflect” those who hate sexy Catholic school girl uniforms, or the sight of knees in general, including their own are genuphobic. Sometimes severe religious practices can cause it, or experiencing a major knee injury. The fear is often of the pain that can come from an unprotected knee.
Chaetophobia – Fear of Hair
Nearly every man who has shared his shower with a long-haired woman knows a bit about this. Specifically a fear of hair, some people are fine with hair that is attached, but become terrified of loose hair existing in the wild.
Asymmetriphobia – Fear of Asymmetrical Things
Tony Shaloub’s character “Monk” had many markers of this fear. What’s comical about it isn’t the fear itself, but how it presents. Usually mismatched socks, gloves, or earrings tend to set these people off, making watching baseball impossible for them; and not just because it’s insufferably boring.
Philophobia – Fear of Love
These sufferers tend to often be quite sad, since they fear any kind of emotional attachment. They prefer to either use people, or be used themselves, which isn’t comedic in the slightest.
Globophobia – Fear of Balloons
Taken literally, this phobia can be of anything round or globe-shaped, but it specifically refers not only to balloons, but to the popping sound balloons make when burst.
Kinemortophobia – Fear of Zombies
While most of us avoid The Walking Dead because it’s gloomy and terrible, kinemortophobics won’t watch it because it’s full of zombies. They’re also afraid of people they know becoming zombies, and can be quite paranoid about it, meaning they shouldn’t be part of your apocalypse team.
Ereuthophobia – Fear of Blushing/Red
Sometimes this is a generalized fear of the color red, but more often it shows up as a terror when a person blushes. Believed to often be tied to diseases or bloodshed, the funny fear over ruddy cheeks can come from a dark, Dexter-esque place.
Anatidaephobia – Fear of Being Watched by A Duck
We’ve all seen cartoon ducks, but what if Daffy or Donald was watching you? This isn’t a fear that manifests only when ducks or geese are present, instead showing up at all times, causing the person to constantly worry that a duck knows what they are doing at all times; smiling in that lipless way, and waiting.
Pteridophobia – Fear of Ferns
Often confused with pteronophobia (fear of feathers), these individuals are fine around cacti, flowers, and most vines, but give them a fern and they’ll cut you.
Geliophobia – Fear of Laughter
People who are worried about their teeth tend to be frightened of laughing, lest they show their shame to the world. Even hearing others laugh can inspire shame and anxiety.
Ostraconophobia – Fear of Shellfish
Crabs, lobsters, oysters, and clams are to be avoided at all costs around these folks. They believe that those who misbehave go to Maine after they die. Actually, most of us should be afraid of that.
Aulophobia – Fear of Flutes
Though less persistent these days, flute fear often was caused by PTSD in the early days of warfare, when fife players were common on the battlefield.
Deipnophobia – Fear of Dinner Parties
A strange phobic reaction that came from societies too full of rules, many individuals became utterly afraid of carrying on a conversation while dining, as the thought of either seeing chewed food or breaking a social more sent them into isolation until after the meal was done.
Metrophobia – Fear of Poetry
Don’t compare these people to a summer’s day. Don’t send them odes. Whatever you do, don’t drag them to your dirty limerick competition. They fear metered writing and given how much of it is complete agony to hear, no one blames them.
Pentheraphobia – Fear of Your Mother In-Law
If you have this, might we suggest divorce as a cure? Certainly, poisoning her is out of the question…right?
Venustraphobia – Fear of Beautiful Women
Going beyond a set of sweaty palms and a little bit of stammering when faced with a pretty lady, those who toil under this malady avoid attractive women at all costs, mostly by spending a lot of time in Detroit.
Geniophobia – Fear of Chins
Like the fear of knees, there’s something about chins that give these people pause, as it looks too much like a vulnerable spot to be injured. Trauma around the jaw often brings this about.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of Long Words
Which they can never tell anyone they have without succumbing to panic.
Oikophobia – Fear of Home Surroundings
This is the opposite of xenophobia, which is the fear of anything different. Here, people are terrified of the familiar. The more quaint and cozy something is, the less they trust it.
Omphalophobia – Fear of the Navel
Anyone who’s spent a little time really exploring their own navel will probably understand this fear. That’s a dark, grim, cavernous pit of foulness right in the middle of your body that is better left alone and should be removed entirely.
Pogonophobia – Fear of Beards
Pogonophobics are frightened of what you’re hiding behind those whiskers, even though they logically know the answer is bits of food.
Ergophobia – Fear of Work
Web writers in particular have this to a great degree and should be allowed to go on disability as a result.
Nomophobia – Fear of Losing Mobile Phone Service
If you end up with no bars and that causes untold terror, welcome to the club.
Turophobia – Fear of Cheese
These people are sick and should be put out of their misery. Honestly, erotophobia would be easier to live with.
I have chronophobia. The fear of the passage of time. just thinking about the future makes my insides feel empty. i don’t really know why.
yes i get what you mean, i’m not scared of cheese but i don’t like eating it. the taste feels kinda gross imo
I like the fat fear.
I have astrophobia. Fear of outer space.
Why are people afraid of small spaces its very confusing. And that’s being said by someone with that fear.
I have the fear of dogs but it is just big dogs. And getting licked by dogs idk why im scared of getting licked by dogs but I am
Cheese.. its just so gross and its kinda creepy how YeLlOw it is.. an is got HoLes everywhere..
Ducks are scary okay!!!
fear of people should be one
Honestly I’m not surprised people are scared of the great mole rat, he is very intimidating.
Hal Jordan is my favorite Character ever and he has the Fear of the Color Yellow
Cheese is my favorite food. Imagine being that one person who’s afraid of cheese totally not lactose intolerance
I’m not scared of dogs, but I had a terrible experience of having one as a pet! I’m OK with dogs though, but I prefer cats.
I’m scared of spiders. that’s rational.
Fun fact: panphobia is the fear of EVERYTHING.
Anyways enjoy your day!
my fear is the restroom they literally scare me to death cuz I HATE COVID
I have a fear of my face turning red, and I feal like once it developed my face turns red a lot more
I get scared of my screams and when I´m scared I scream, so it makes me scream till I lose my voice. LOL.
people like me have a fear of a duck watching you, IT CAN BE FREAKY SOMETIMES OKAY!!!
I have nomophobia plz don’t ask.. and elevators
Thank you for your time, y’all stay safe, and keep your phone charged :3
I’m scared of being stuck in an elevator, I just… don’t go on elevators anymore. But if my hotel room is on the 26 floor… I will go on an elevator, but feel like ima die
The funniest is the ducks watching u one
i am scared of typing its cal…. ahhhhh im TYPING NOW IMA DIE HAVING A PANOC ATACK AHHHHH HELPPPPP JWENNQWJNQ QWCQEJCNIQEQE FVJ.
bruh why do people have a fear of dogs THEYS SO FLUFFY ANS CUTE AND SILLYYYY
i feel sorry for the people that have the fear of long words cause -supercalifragilisticexpialodocias!
Yall are funny and crazy! I am claustrophobic (fear of small spaces but I still go in them) also haphephobia (fear of being touched get kinda hard.)
It’s not on the list but I have, Agoraphobia which is a weird and r a r e fear of embarrassment. Honestly it sucks
Oh, shoot! What have you tried to beat this?
yo who got a fear of being fat my mom has it also she already is OOOOOH OHHHHHH ROASTED *Dabs*
Thats funny and cool please don’t take this offensive!
i had Eisoptrophobia/the fear of mirrors-
Becuse i belive in ghosts lol
Ah i love the peson who named the phobia of long words
Thanks for letting me know what my fear of work is called
I have trypophobia and fear of the world being destroyed. And cynophobia the fear of dogs. Man’s best friend? I don’t think so.
my fear is going blind i have panic attacks beacuse of it
I have trypophobia, fear of small holes clustered together. lotus pods really trigger it.
I like the fear of poetry because my English teacher’s motto is love English or die trying and her favourite part of English is poetry🤣
Bruh everyone has a fear of losing mobile phone service these days
True dat :))
i have Zemmiphobia – Fear of The Great Mole Rat
Yall some clowns talm bout yall scare of balloons/ knees and ZOMBIEESS
i love the duck one and whoever named the fear of long words (Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia ) is a mfn genius. love it
I finally found what my fear of balloons is 🙂
FEARS OF ZOMBIES IS NOT FUNNY IT IS TERRIFYING OK? OK.
i have asked all my life if there is an undiscovered phobia?i have a bit of a fear of things geting bigger and bigger.
FEAR OF KNEES IS NOT FUNNY PHOBIA I HAVE IT AND MY MOM HAS FEAR OF BALLONS
@amberchiahill Okay so, I don’t fear cheese, but I will not go within 3 feet of it and feel gross saying it and would rather die than eat- maybe I am scared of it 🤔. It’s literally fermented milk plus salt and you put it in yo mouth. Next time you eat cheese, think about this, ” I am putting salty fermented milk it my mouth and I’m enjoying it!”
Who you guys got in kong vs Godzilla?
Feetaphobia/fear of having eggs on your feet
Why ducks and yellow just how but its sad.
I actually have phobia of ducks staring at me-
Hahaha I don’t know that there were phobia that has a fear of ducks….lol😆😂
lol I feel soooo bad for the people who r afraid of cheese. I couldn’t live without it. 😆😢😜
Lol. That’s all.
thanks for the fear, i have a fear of phobias aka hobomohophobia. but i think being afraid of the great mole rat is not very iraqtional! i think if you mess with him hell come and beat up your mother in law.