Knowing what to talk about with a girl you like isn’t always easy. Nerves can get the better of you even if you have the best people skills. But having a few things to talk about prepared beforehand can greatly improve the flow of conversation. Of course, just because you’re trying out for the part of Romeo doesn’t mean you have to read from a script! The key to knowing what to do is understanding why it works; so come check out our top 20 tips on how to start a conversation with a girl–and keep it going naturally.
Whether you’re outgoing or shy, knowing how to navigate a conversation is vital to developing healthy relationships. Below are 20 topics and interesting questions to help you keep the conversation flowing like a fine wine.
How to Start a Conversation With a Girl
Social interaction can be taxing on many of us. You might overthink what to do with your hands, or if you have something in your teeth. Is your laugh weird? Is she making a face at you? Did that pause go on for way too long?
Some men are natural Casanovas and can strike up a conversation with any girl. Other men aren’t as confident when it comes to talking to women. Then, there are the men that have all the confidence but none of the skill.
Fortunately, there are ways to avoid some of the anxieties that accompany socializing with someone new, or someone you want to get to know better. The easiest of these–and the most critical–is to be prepared with some topics to talk about with your crush in mind beforehand.
Therefore, we have a few ways to help learn how to start a conversation with a girl.
Introduce Yourself to Her
Whether face-to-face or over text, if you want to start a conversation with someone, introductions come first. While mystery is alluring, you don’t want to remain strangers with a girl you like.
Ask Her Questions About Herself
One of the easiest ways to keep a conversation flowing, is by knowing what to talk about. So, you’ll need to ask her questions in order to learn more about her.
Use Pick Up Lines on Her
When you’re unsure how to start a conversation with a girl, try out some cheesy pick up lines. While it might not result in love at first sight, there’s a good chance you’ll share a laugh. And that’s a great foray into developing a connection.
With the right compliments you can easily initiate conversation. Try and stick with compliments about her interests, style, or even clothing and accessories. But try to steer clear of commenting on her physical appearance to avoid creeping her out.
Talk to Her About the Present Surroundings
If you’re trying to strike up a conversation but you’re lost on where to start, just look around you. Use your surroundings to drum up a conversation. Or at least break the ice with a girl.
What to Talk About With a Girl: 10 Things to Talk About
Think of it as a universal cheat sheet for conversations. All you need to do is remember some of these conversation topics below to help steer the conversation.
Not only will having these 10 things to talk about up your sleeve keep the two of you talking, but you’ll also have a better chance of learning more about her.
We’ve all had to endure it: childhood. Some of your most fond memories stem from this time, some other memories might be more embarrassing. Have some fun with a girl and talk about your childhood together. Maybe you both share a hilarious prepubescent moment or a playground disaster you can laugh about today.
Reminiscing about childhood together will help ease your tensions and make you seem more relatable. It can also go a long way towards revealing vulnerabilities and building trust and intimacy. So, whether you see this girl as a friend or something more, your childhood memories are a safe way to establish a rapport.
2. Family and Friends
Talking about the familial or social connections you have will demonstrate to a girl that you value those relationships and will often show that you’re willing to express vulnerabilities to her. A grown man talking about how much he loves spending time with his grandmother or visiting his parents in his free time can be extremely endearing as far as discussion topics go.
Make sure to find out if the two of you share any mutual friends or acquaintances. Having mutual friends will offer more chances in the future for the two of you to talk. Plus, by getting a rundown of her friends you’ll be able to get a better read on her personal life.
If she’s new to the area and hasn’t had a chance to make many friends, then this is a great chance for you to pursue a new friendship or introduce her to other people you know.
There’s no lack of things to talk about with a girl you work with, and a little workplace banter can go a long way towards breaking the ice. However, you have to avoid any “dead end” statements. Don’t just mention that the last meeting you had could have been an email; try to talk about broader work-related topics such as mentioning a new lunch spot close by or bringing up some positive office gossip.
Of course, if you meet a girl you like outside of work, you can and should still ask about her work and talk about yours. Work discussions can help reveal a lot about a person. For example, if your work schedules are incompatible, then you know the relationship will be difficult to pursue.
Don’t keep it strictly business though–mixing in some of the more comical elements of your current or past jobs fertile ground for fun things to talk about. Now is the time to talk about that job you had in college as an art model, or maybe when you accidentally sent your boss a meme instead of a pdf.
Talking about where and when you went to school is a great way to bond with a girl. Higher education is where most people really find themselves and often share similar experiences in doing so. Whether you attended the same institution as the girl in question or not, it should be easy to relate to her with stories of your college years.
Talk about roommates and dorm life. Maybe you know some of the same people. Compare notes on legendary campus stories. Don’t forget to casually let her know about your achievements so she knows you have some brains, but don’t brag too much!
5. Favorite Hangout Spots
Take time to find out where she likes to hangout. You can learn more about her interests or discover somewhere new to spend your time. If you’re both bookworms, you can compare bookstores or which library you frequent. If she spends her time at local parks you then know she enjoys the outdoors.
Finding out you both go to the same bar for after work drinks could be a great excuse to hang out again. Knowing you have similarities in how and where you enjoy spending your time is going to allow for a much more seamless start to your relationship or friendship. It establishes instant familiarity, opening the door to many more engaging and less generic topics to talk about with your crush.
6. Your Present Surroundings
Show your amazing observational skills by bringing up your present surroundings! But for real, if you feel the conversation is dying down you can easily talk about the here and now to keep a conversation going with a girl you like. Just because there’s a lull, doesn’t mean the ship is sinking–yet! The world is a funny place, and there’s ample opportunity to point out humor or intrigue in the immediate environment.
You can also use this to chat with random girls you haven’t met yet. If you see a girl in a coffee shop you frequent take a chance to banter next time that you’re both standing in line together or waiting for your drinks. Offer her a suggestion on a good drink or pastry. Whether she’s had it before or not, you’ve successfully broken the ice.
7. Current Events
When you start to feel your conversation with a girl dying down a bit, you can always bring up current events. No need to take it the political route quite yet, unless you enjoy the idea of a potential debate. (Actually, with a girl you already know a little bit, it can make for a good filter–just don’t be an asshole about it if you disagree!)
You can easily stay impartial when discussing the world’s current state of affairs. Stick to current events that are more positive or topics that anyone can relate to in order to avoid any deeper discussions you might not be ready for.
Discussing preferential forms of entertainment will certainly help a conversation remain afloat. Offer some recommendations and express interest in what she recommends to you. Favorite movies and music say a lot about someone, and can help you find new angles of what to talk about with a girl. And after all, when people find others who enjoy the same forms of entertainment that they enjoy, strong connections tend to develop faster.
Feel free to hit topics of conversation like a novel you recently read, or the last concert you went to. Find out if she’s a sports fan and if you two cheer for the same team. There might even be a chance to make plans together in the future to do something fun that you both enjoy.
RELATED READING: How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
Talking about travel is a broad topic that can cover a lot of ground in a conversation. Whether either of you travel a lot or not doesn’t take it off the table. This is when you can find out if she wants to travel, her dream travel destination, or where she’s been if she travels all the time.
Discussing travel can be enlightening and entertaining. She might have some exciting experiences, or she could enjoy listening to you share your own experiences. Once again though, don’t brag if you live a jet-set lifestyle, it can be less interesting and more irritating. Keep the focus on her travel experiences, and respond with your own when it’s relevant or opens the door to other things to talk about.
10. The Future!
If you’re just starting to talk to a girl, you’ll want to bring up the future. That said, any conversation about the future shouldn’t be heavy early on. When things are just starting between you and a girl you like–especially if this is the first conversation you’re having–you should keep things lighthearted.
Talk about your five-year plans, or even take it the sci-fi route and imagine up the future of the planet together. Don’t forget to have fun with it! It’s a conversation not a job interview.
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl: 10 Good Conversation Questions
When it comes to asking a girl questions, you’ll want to primarily stick to open ended ones. Asking her a broad question will give the two of you a chance to have a discussion rather than simply answering yes or no.
Let’s say that again: You’ll want to avoid polar yes or no questions. This form of conversing is rigid and can make a person feel as if they’re being administered a polygraph test. In other words, they’re boring things to talk about which you should avoid like the plague; aka conversation killers.
Making a point to ask open ended questions will help you see more of her personality in action. She’ll have to go into detail when answering and they’re easy to bounce back and forth onto one another. Conversation is a two-way street after all!
These 10 questions will help you figure out what to talk about with a girl and keep the conversation going smoothly.
11. “What are some of your hobbies?”
You can learn more about how to spends her free time and what she does to relax by asking her about her hobbies. Maybe she doesn’t have any but wants to start something new in the future. You can also offer to introduce her to some of your own hobbies if she’s interested. Just don’t get overly technical if it’s not about something you share in interest in already–you don’t want to talk over anyone’s head or risk sounding pretentious and out of touch.
12. “How do you feel about pets?”
Pets are an important subject to broach. If you have some furry friends at home and you find out she’s highly allergic or dislikes animals, then you might not be that compatible. Of course, if it’s just friendship both parties are looking for this needn’t be an issue.
However, if both of you have pets or plan to later in life, this could be a fun segue into a full-on conversation about the future!
13. “What is your family like?”
Show an interest in her personal life by asking about her family. Does she have any siblings? Is she close to her parents? Find out how your family lives compare.
Open ended questions about family are great to have in your back pocket. You can easily slide a family related question into a lull in conversation. The answers can also tell you a lot about another person.
14. “Do you celebrate any holidays?”
This is an easy way to learn about more personal topics without directly asking those deeper conversation questions. You can gauge how religious she is depending on which holidays she celebrates, without diving too deep into what can be a sensitive subject for some. You can also find out if she’s just into having a good time, regardless of any special holiday occasions.
If you go all out for any particular holiday you can be specific and ask her what she thinks of it. Perhaps she loves Halloween. If that’s the case, find out if she’s ever done a couples Halloween costume. If she hasn’t, take a chance, and coyly ask her if she would ever consider doing one.
15. “What are your guilty pleasures or pet peeves?”
Test your compatibility with questions about pet peeves. Get her to list off what grinds her gears. Maybe the two of you can find common ground based on what drives both of you crazy. After all, random topics which provoke strong emotions are super useful for keeping engagement up.
You can always take the opposite route and ask her about what she hates to love. Asking her about her guilty pleasures and admitting to some of your own will easily keep both of you laughing.
16. “What’s one of the most unbelievable moments you’ve experienced?”
Most people have an unbelievable, completely bizarre, experience at some point in life. It could be a mysterious incidence or a surreal celebrity encounter.
Regardless of what the other person considers to be unbelievable, the supernatural or unexplained almost always provides a jumping off point for other interesting topics to talk about.
17. “What is your zodiac/enneagram/MBTI/moral alignment?”
For some, playing armchair psychologist or astrologist is a serious affair. Others just enjoy Dungeons and Dragons.
Asking her about her zodiac or digging a bit deeper into one of the many personality assessments is an entertaining way to find out more about a person. However, if you don’t already know what classification your personality falls in, then this might end with her helping you find out. You can easily turn some small talk into a full-on bonding session.
18. “What’s your best dad joke?”
Everyone has a favorite cheesy joke! The initial conversation with a girl should stay fun; keep the energy level positive by telling some ridiculous jokes. The harder someone roles their eyes the better.
Don’t forget to have some pun laden, dad worthy jokes ready to fire back at her. Just be sure to sell it with a decent amount of self-awareness–there’s a fine line between groan-worthy and full-on cringe.
19. “What was the last song you listened to?”
When pondering how to talk to women who are into music, think about the stuff you’re into. Albums, concerts, song lyrics, and artist recommendations are all good topics to talk about with fellow music aficionados.
But all too often you’ll hear, “I listen to everything,” as a response when the topic of music is broached. This doesn’t mean she’s basic or uninterested–it just means you need to ask more specific questions. “What was the last song you listened to” is imminently relatable, and can open up tons of avenues for continuing the conversation.
Just do your very best to avoid elitist gatekeeping or treating music as a team sport. It’s okay to be passionate, and less okay to be pretentious.
20. “Are you free next week?”
Inquire if she’s available to hang out soon. If you like her and want to talk to her more, you have to make it known.
Don’t just ask if she’s free and leave it at that though. This question requires some follow-up! Pick a specific day that works for her and make concrete plans.
What to Talk About with a Woman: Last Words
So there you have it: 20 sure-fire things to talk about with a girl you like. It’s totally normal to be nervous, but that makes it all the more important to be prepared to make good conversation with your crush. Hopefully, our discussion topic suggestions and their explanations have helped cast light on what girls like to talk about–and why.
(Hint: Women are human beings, rather than mysterious alien forces to be calculated and countered. Going into a conversation with that baseline of respect and empathy will go a long way towards making you interesting and relatable–and thus a natural conversationalist).
All that’s left to do is go for it! If you’re waiting to chat up that cute girl at the coffee shop or ask a coworker out for drinks, don’t let a lack of subjects to talk about stop you. You’ve got this–just remember that none of this is a script. Each of our suggestions is a jumping off point onto other topics of conversation, so stay receptive and above all: LISTEN to what she has to say in response to your prompts.
What are your favorite conversation starters? Do you have any suggestions of your own for topics to talk about with a girl you like? Give us a shout in the comments below!