Whether you’re outgoing or shy, knowing how to navigate a conversation is vital to developing healthy relationships. Below are 20 topics and interesting questions to help you keep the conversation flowing like a fine wine.
How to Start a Conversation With a Girl
Social interaction can be taxing on many of us. You might overthink what to do with your hands, or if you have something in your teeth. Is your laugh weird? Is she making a face at you? Did that pause go on for way too long?
Some men are natural Casanovas and can strike up a conversation with any girl. Other men aren’t as confident when it comes to talking to women. Then, there are the men that have all the confidence but none of the skill.
Fortunately, there are ways to avoid some of the anxieties that accompany socializing with someone new, or someone you want to get to know better.
What to Talk About With a Girl
Think of it as a universal cheat sheet for conversations. All you need to do is remember some of these topics below to help steer the conversation. Not only will having these topics up your sleeve keep the two of you talking but you’ll also have a better chance of learning more about her.
We’ve all had to endure it: childhood. Some of your most fond memories stem from this time, some other memories might be more embarrassing. Have some fun with a girl and talk about your childhood. Maybe you both share a hilarious prepubescent moment or a playground disaster you can laugh about today.
Reminiscing about childhood together will help ease your tensions and make you seem more relatable. So, whether you see this girl as a friend or something more, your childhood memories are a safe way to establish a rapport.
2. Family and Friends
Talking about the familial or social connections you have will demonstrate to a girl that you value those relationships and will often show that you’re willing to express vulnerabilities to her. A grown man talking about how much he loves spending time with his grandmother or visiting his parents in his free time can be extremely endearing.
Make sure to find out if the two of you share any mutual friends or acquaintances. Having mutual friends will offer more chances in the future for the two of you to talk. Plus, by getting a rundown of her friends you’ll be able to get a better read on her personal life.
If she’s new to the area and hasn’t had a chance to make many friends, then this is a great chance for you to pursue a new friendship or introduce her to other people you know.
When you work with the girl that you’re trying to talk to more often, talking about work is a no brainer. However, you have to avoid any “dead end” statements. Don’t just mention that the last meeting you had could have been an email. Try to talk about broader work-related topics such as mentioning a new lunch spot close by or bringing up some positive office gossip.
Of course, if you meet a girl outside of work, you can and should still ask about her work and talk about yours. Work discussions can help reveal a lot about a person. For example, if your work schedules are incompatible, then you know the relationship will be difficult to pursue.
Don’t keep it strictly business though, make things fun and talk about some of the more comical elements of your current or past jobs. Now is the time to talk about that job you had in college as an art model, or maybe when you accidentally sent your boss a meme instead of a pdf.
Talking about where and when you went to school is a great way to bond with a girl. Higher education is where most people really find themselves and often share similar experiences in doing so. Whether you attended the same institution as the girl in question or not, it should be easy to relate to her with stories of your college years.
Talk about roommates and dorm life. Maybe you know some of the same people. Compare notes on legendary campus stories. Don’t forget to casually let her know about your achievements so she knows you have some brains, but don’t brag too much!
5. Favorite Hangout Spots
Take time to find out where she likes to hangout. You can learn more about her interests or discover somewhere new to spend your time. If you’re both bookworms, you can compare bookstores or which library you frequent. If she spends her time at local parks you then know she enjoys the outdoors.
Finding out you both go to the same bar for after work drinks could be a great way to hangout again. Knowing you have similarities in how and where you enjoy spending your time is going to allow for a much more seamless start to your relationship or friendship.
6. Your Present Surroundings
Show your amazing observational skills by bringing up your present surroundings! But for real, if you feel the conversation is dying down you can easily talk about the here and now.
You can also use this to start talking to a girl you have yet to introduce yourself to. If you see a girl in a coffee shop you frequent take a chance to chat next time that you’re both standing in line together or waiting for your drinks. Offer her a suggestion on a good drink or pastry. Whether she’s had it before or not you’ve successfully broken the ice.
7. Current Events
When you start to feel your conversation with a girl dying down a bit you can always bring up current events. No need to take it the political route quite yet, unless you enjoy the idea of a potential debate.
You can easily stay impartial when discussing the worlds current state of affairs. Stick to current events that are more positive or topics that anyone can relate to in order to avoid any deeper discussions you might not be ready for.
Discussing preferential forms of entertainment will certainly help a conversation remain afloat. Offer some recommendations and express interest in what she recommends to you. Favorite movies and music say a lot about someone. When people find others that enjoy the same forms of entertainment that they enjoy strong connections develop.
Feel free to discuss the last novel you read or last concert you went to. Find out if she’s a sports fan and if you two cheer for the same team. There might even be a chance to make plans together in the future to do something fun that you both enjoy.
RELATED READING: How to tell if a girl likes you
Talking about travel is a broad topic that can cover a lot of ground in a conversation. Whether either of you travel a lot or not doesn’t take it off the table. This is when you can find out if she wants to travel, her dream travel destination, and where she’s been if she travels all the time.
Discussing travel can be enlightening and entertaining. She might have some exciting experiences, or she could enjoy listening to you share your own experiences.
10. The Future!
If you’re just starting to talk to a girl, you’ll want to bring up the future. Talk about the future shouldn’t be heavy early on. When things are just starting between you and a girl or if this is the first conversation you’re having, you should keep things lighthearted.
Talk about your five-year plans, or even take it the sci-fi route and imagine up the future of the planet together. Don’t forget to have fun with it. It’s a conversation not a job interview.
More Things to Talk About With a Girl
When it comes to asking a girl questions, you’ll want to primarily stick to open ended ones. Asking her a broad question will give the two of you a chance to have a discussion rather than simply answering yes or no.
You’ll want to avoid polar yes or no questions. This form of conversing is rigid and can make a person feel as if they’re being administered a polygraph test. In other words, they’re boring.
Making a point to ask open ended questions will help you see more of her personality. She’ll have to go into detail when answering and they’re easy to bounce back and forth onto one another. Conversation is a two-way street after all. So, help keep the conversation from stagnating by asking some of these questions.
Lengthen the Conversation
11. “What are some of your hobbies?”
You can learn more about how to spends her free time and what she does to relax by asking her about her hobbies. Maybe she doesn’t have any but wants to start something new in the future. You can also offer to introduce her to some of your own hobbies if she’s interested.
12. “How do you feel about pets?”
Pets are an important subject to broach. If you have some furry friends at home and you find out she’s highly allergic or dislikes animals, then you might not be that compatible. Of course, if it’s just friendship both parties are looking for this needn’t be an issue.
However, if both of you have pets or plan to later in life this could be a fun segue into a full-on conversation about the future!
13. “What is your family like?”
Show an interest in her personal life by asking about her family. Does she have any siblings? Is she close to her parents? Find out how your family lives compare.
Open ended questions about family are great to have in your back pocket. You can easily slide a family related question into a lull in conversation. The answers can also tell you a lot about another person.
14. “Do you celebrate any holidays?”
This is an easy way to learn about more personal topics without directly asking those deeper questions. You can gauge how religious she is depending on which holidays she celebrates without diving too deep into a sensitive subject for some. You can also find out if she’s just into having a good time, regardless of any special holiday occasions.
If you go all out for any particular holiday you can be specific and ask her what she thinks of it. Perhaps she loves Halloween. If that’s the case, find out if she’s ever done a couples Halloween costume. If she hasn’t, take a chance, and coyly ask her if she would ever consider doing one.
15. “What are your guilty pleasures or pet peeves?”
Test your compatibility with questions about pet peeves. Get her to list off what grinds her gears. Maybe the two of you can find common ground based on what drives both of you crazy.
You can always take the opposite route and ask her about what she hates to love. Asking her about her guilty pleasures and admitting to some of your own will easily keep both of you laughing.
16. “What’s one of the most unbelievable moments you’ve experienced?”
Most people have an unbelievable, completely bizarre, experience at some point in life. It could be a mysterious incidence or a surreal celebrity encounter.
Regardless of what the other person considers to be unbelievable, you’ll be sure to spark up an interesting conversation.
17. “What is your zodiac/enneagram/MBTI/moral alignment?”
For some, playing armchair psychologist or astrologist is a serious affair. Others just enjoy Dungeons and Dragons.
Asking her about her zodiac or digging a bit deeper into one of the many personality assessments is an entertaining way to find out more about a person. However, if you don’t already know what classification your personality falls in, then this might end with her helping you find out. You can easily turn some small talk into a full-on bonding session.
18. “What’s your best dad joke?”
Everyone has a favorite cheesy joke! Initial conversations with a girl should stay fun. Keep the energy level positive by telling some ridiculous jokes. The harder someone roles their eyes the better.
Don’t forget to have some pun laden, dad worthy jokes ready to fire back at her.
19. “What was the last song you listened to?”
Even the most pretentious of music aficionados malfunction when asked on the spot to list what music they listen to. All too often you’ll hear, “I listen to everything,” as a response.
Make things easier on her and ask her a more specific question like, “what was the last song you listened to?” You’ll be able to hear a response without the pressure and navigate the conversation to talk about entertainment.
20. “Are you free next week?”
Inquire if she’s available to hang out soon. If you like her and want to talk to her more you have to make it known.
Don’t just ask if she’s free and leave it at that though. This question requires some follow-up. Pick a specific day that works for her and make concrete plans.
Hopefully after reading this article you feel ready to wow a girl with your banter. Let us know your favorite tip or your own go to topics. We’d love to hear about your success stories in the comments.