Starting a marriage is tough. You are forced to consolidate two households into one, learn to live harmoniously with another person, hide your illicit affairs much better, keep all your really weird pornography out in a storage unit, and put all pictures of your second family carefully into an off-site vault. Amid all this hubbub, it’s easy to forget the little things. That’s why it’s important to have friends. That way they can buy you stuff to make your “wedded bliss” that much happier.
When it comes to the gift registry, couples have a tendency to think mercurially, choosing items that are fun and frivolous rather than those with good, practical application. If you’re going to go to the trouble of paying to give all your friends and family a marvelous party – with an open bar if you’re any kind of decent person – then it’s only fitting to ask them to help you kick off your matrimonious state with presents that will make married life so much easier. Here’s the 20 items any and every couple should have on their gift registry.
Couples tend to do significantly more entertaining than single individuals, largely because couples need other people to make their insufferable relationship work. They also need a lot of alcohol. By registering for all the mixers and muddlers you could want – to say nothing of the hard spirits themselves – you ensure a well-stocked liquor cabinet for all your cocktail needs.
Lasagna pans, woks, tongs, baking sheets, mixing bowls, and anything else that can go onto or in your oven should be front and center on your gift registry. You should also be aiming at high-quality items that will last for years, as there’s no reason to scrimp when it’s someone else’s dime.
If you want something to mix, blend, toast, stir, slow cook, or brew, then it’s smart to ask for it before smoothies cause a row that will upset your domestic tranquility. Don’t forget to also add in foot or back massagers, shower heads, water picks, electric toothbrushes, hair dryers, and any other handheld machine you fancy.
Spending a load of money on dishes that you’ll only see once a year is foolish. Force the family and friends who will be stopping by your abode to foot the bill. If they want to eat off nice plates instead of out of the pan over the sink, then they can damn well furnish you with the means to set a mean table.
Seek out really amazing silverware that is built to go for years and it will be ages before you ever need to buy another fork or knife. You can also choose exactly the style that suits you, rather than grabbing whatever happens to be on the shelves the next time you’re at the local box store.
Towels, sheets, and blankets are three things it’s tough to have too much of. As with buying exceptional dining implements, its your friends and family that are most likely to be using these things when they visit. Therefore, it is only fair that they pitch in with buying them. After all, it’s to their benefit.
Wine glasses, whiskey tumblers, snifters, highball glasses, flutes. There’s a lot of stuff out there to drink from, and no one can afford to get it all. Choose the booze you plan on having around the house and then ask for glasses to go with it. It will save you from drinking straight out of the bottle when things go really wrong.
Getting organized is as much about tools as it is about personality. With enough bins and shelves, anyone can learn to put things away. Even if you’ve never arranged a closet in your life, if you end up with a bunch of boxes to fill you’ll suddenly find your inner Martha Stewart and get your life in order.
Experiences are one of the things that couples tend to forget to add to the registry. Learning to cook together, or maybe learning to dance can help build your relationship. By getting discounts on these couple activities, or forcing your friends to foot the bill, you might just manage to keep your partner until that first anniversary.
Camping gear, stoves, ice axes, picnic baskets, sun hats, mobile awnings, beach towels, backpacks, boots, and even lamb’s wool or merino socks can make your every excursion that much easier. Certainly those who love you will be happy to fund your adventures.
Picture frames are a huge waste of money. Sadly, they’re also necessary for hanging anything in your house without making it look tacky. Pick simple frames with basic dimensions and you can add in the memories later.
Couples tend to do much more cooking than single individuals, and that means they’ll need a way to do all that chopping. Nothing in the world compares to the feel of a good set of kitchen knives in your hand, and nothing makes meal prep go more smoothly. Even if you already have knives, you might need a smart set for your partner.
Though technically these go into the “small appliance” category, registering for a good coffee pot, a decent espresso machine, or even a cold brew maker might help you add in some variety to your life. If nothing else, aim for something ridiculous and hope you get lucky.
A grill is an excellent item to add to a gift registry, as it promotes fun, food, fire, and meat. Go for a large stand-up for grilling burgers during Super Bowl parties, or get a cute little hibachi for more sedate home cooking. You’ll also have a way to make food when your spouse kicks you out.
Drills, rotary tools, saws, hammers, stud finders, and even putty knives can be invaluable to a couple, as they’re likely to be moving into a new house in the near future. A socket set or a pair of jack stands might not seem sexy, but there’s no gift that gives more.
Throw pillows, prints to hang on the wall, rugs, tapestries, and anything else to beautify your household not only is good for you, but allows your loved ones to give you something they can see in use every single time they visit to ask you for money.
Living well is partly about living long. Though a first aid kit, a carbon monoxide detector, a fire extinguisher, or child-proofing tabs might not get you hot and bothered, having a gift save your life will totally change what gets your motor revved into the red.
Costly and often forgotten, luggage sets are expensive, but you might be able to get a few smaller pieces out of the people in your life. Be sure to point at tough names that don’t inflate their prices too much. If nothing else, hope for a nice carry-on.
Is a vacuum or a scrub brush going to get you excited when you open it? It should, especially if you’ve opted for one of the really good choices out there. Cleaning sucks for everyone, but it’s marginally easier if you have some fun tools to do it with.
Though you can’t expect any single person to go for this, vacation packages offer a way for a lot of your friends and family to jump in on a big, fun outing. Choose a few vacations of various prices and see if everyone will band together to send you away.