Tired of unrequited love? Fed up with chasing girls to no avail? Want to take your game to the next level? Then it’s time you learn how to ask a girl out on a date. But before you do, there are a few critical things that you need to know.
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It should go without saying, but the ball is in your court to ask her out if you want to date a girl. If you can’t bring yourself to make the first move, stop wasting time reading this material right now and go get a library card. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule.
Of course, in some cases, a girl might ask a guy out on an initial date. But for most girls, if you want the romance to be mutual, it’s your responsibility. So get over it and man up.
What to Do Before Asking a Girl Out on a Date
Although this article is titled ” How to Ask a Girl Out,” it would be foolish to jump right into the main event before having some fun getting there first. After all, what’s the point in even asking her out if she declines?
To increase your chances of landing that date, you want to be attractive to women.
You want her to want you to ask her out. So, how do you do this?
How to Make a Girl Want You
We won’t lie to you; it will take a lot of work on your end to make yourself a catch. You will need to work on yourself both physically and psychologically. Here are a few pointers on how to make a girl want you:
Swag is also an attitude. It means that you are confident but not arrogant. It means that you’re in charge without being bossy; you’re the leader of the relationship, not the other way around.
Swag is what gets girls to notice you when there are dozens of other guys vying for her attention at the same time (e.g., at a party or club). If you don’t have any swag, then she won’t remember you when it’s your turn to ask her out.
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Why do you think the fitness industry is growing by leaps and bounds? Fit physiques are in high demand these days. Therefore, if you want to get a girl to notice you, then get started on building some muscle today–or at least build a body that clearly displays effort and care.
Following that last point, you will also need to learn how to groom yourself properly and find the right clothes for your body type.
It is an unfortunate reality that material wealth tends to help more than it hurts, however being rich is no substitute for having real charisma. And what’s more, flaunting and bragging will send any decent running for the hills.
So, if you have a thing for classic cars and fine Italian suits–that’s awesome. Just don’t make a big deal about it, and let the goods speak for themselves. Otherwise, if you’re not balling, show her the ways in which you can bring richness into her life: with humor, character, wit, and depth.
Women–along with everyone else–don’t appreciate complainers and whiners. Complaining shows you have a victim complex, which is very unattractive. Basically, when someone is complaining, it shows that person isn’t happy with their current situation and how things are.
And when a girl hears this negative talk, she assumes you don’t like your life and view yourself in a negative light. Why would she want to be with such a person?
On the other hand, guys who remain positive and find the good in every situation will be more attractive to girls. Sure, there are bad things in life you don’t like – but use that as motivation to make them better instead of an excuse to go on moaning about it all the time.
You’ve probably noticed by now that girls love confidence. Even if you think you will look like an idiot, act confident anyway.
Confidence piques her curiosity and interest in who you are and what you can offer her. It sends out a message that you like yourself and won’t settle for less than what you want.
This means being mindful of your body language and keeping eye contact when talking to her.
Another big reason you should act confident is that girls despise doormats. Why would she want a guy who lets people push him around?
Here are a couple of tips on how to build your confidence:
Work on Your Manners (and Charm)
Judging by popular media, you might think girls are impressed with a guy who’s a total bad boy–the one who swears a lot and mistreats women.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth: girls prefer strong, charming men. Generally being a macho jerk doesn’t exude these qualities, but instead signals overcompensation for the lack of these things.
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Now, it’s true that bad boys get noticed because they aren’t pushovers. “Nice guys” often lose to bad boys since they allow women to walk all over them. Therefore, the trick is to have a healthy ego while still being respectful.
There’s another reason why you should improve your manners: it makes it easier for girls to talk to you. No girl wants to hang out with someone she’s not comfortable around.
Have a Life and Friends
This makes you more interesting and exciting. Another good thing to do if you want to attract women is to make some friends. Not only will this make you a better conversationalist, but it will also expand your social circle, allowing you to meet a lot of new people–including the girl of your dreams.
So go out, have fun and meet other people. This will automatically increase your chances of success with women. And when you do meet someone interesting, if it’s within a social context, you will appear more trustworthy and likable by association with a healthy friend group.
How to Ask a Girl Out
Now that we have discussed how to increase your market value, let us get on to the actual aspect of asking a girl out. Confidence is critical, boys.
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Find Out What She Likes
Find out what her interests are. Ask her questions about the things she likes. If you have enough information on what she likes, it’ll be easier to ask for a date.
Invite Her to Help You Do Something
You have to be tactful with women. After all, most of them have good reason to believe that guys are only after one thing. Therefore, you need to show that you have no ulterior motives, and instead a genuine interest in spending time getting to know her.
This is why asking her to help you with a project works like magic. For starters, it shows that you see her as more than just a pretty face. Most importantly, it shows you are different from the riffraff that typically bothers her. You could ask her to help you:
- Fix up your/her bike (if she’s athletic)
- Build a robot (if she’s nerdy)
- Finish a work project (if she has the skills)
- Help you study (if she’s smart)
There’s no limit to what you can ask her to help with–as long as it is something that requires mutual effort. Then again, if she doesn’t like helping you with things, then maybe this isn’t the girl for you.
Invite Her to Play a Game with You
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The trick here is to find something she’s interested in playing. If she likes board games, go ahead and ask her if she’d like to play a board game with you. In fact, playing a board game is an excellent choice because it encourages conversation, allowing you to know each other better. It’s a fun experience in a low-pressure situation.
And contrary to a certain outdated school of thought, girls like video games, too. Next time you’re having a game night, why not invite her along? A little healthy competition is a good thing, and it might be a good chance to introduce her to your friends.
Besides, we shouldn’t have to tell you that cuddling up with a Nintendo Switch is also an excellent activity for two, right?
Invite Her to Do Something with Your Friends
This has many of the same advantages as inviting her to play a game, while also allowing you to check out your compatibility. The easiest way is usually setting up a double date (if she’s already comfortable around you).
Hanging out as a group is not only fun, but also more comfortable for a girl while she’s getting a feel for you.
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Here are some things you can try:
- Shoot some pool
- Go to the arcade if she likes retro games
- Go bowling
- Sing some karaoke
If you’re feeling especially adventurous, ask her if she wants to go camping or hiking with you and your friends. Then again, if she declines, maybe it’s time to find yourself another girl.
Invite Her to Attend a Lecture with You
If she likes learning new things–and most girls do–there’s no better way to spend time together than learning something new together. Plus, there are so many different kinds of lectures you can attend, the only problem is deciding which one.
Here are some examples:
- Attend a Museum Lecture on Art History (if she’s into art)
- Attend a Philosophy Debate at Your University (if she likes school debates)
- Attend an Astronomy Lecture at the Space Center (if she likes science)
The key here is to find a lecture that interests both of you at least a little bit. It’s not going to work if all you have in common is her. If possible, check out the lectures ahead of time and see if there’s anything worth attending before deciding on an activity for the night.
Invite Her to Have Drinks with You
Obviously, this works better if the woman you’re interested in drinks, even casually. But whether it’s a classy night with champagne, or something a little more rowdy with tequila, booze can be a good social lubricant. Even just sharing a bottle of wine is a classic evening-in-lieu-of-plans.
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If you’re the DIY type, why not host a get together at your home bar? Being able to sling cocktails is an impressive skill–even if it’s really not all that difficult in most cases.
Alternatively, think about going to some sort of drinking establishment together. It needs to be classy enough that she’ll feel comfortable, but it also has to be affordable enough that you won’t go broke buying drinks for her all night long.
And most importantly, it should have a cozy atmosphere where the two of you can talk. This is a great way to set the mood for a long night of conversation because it gives you both things to look forward to.
Just make sure you know your stuff beforehand, or you’ll be in for a sad surprise when you can’t actually afford to buy her that top-shelf cocktail.
How to Ask a Girl for Her Number
While discussing how to ask a girl out, it occurred to us that you might not even have her number.
The first thing to know about asking for a girl’s phone number is that the answer will be either yes or no. That is why it is vital to make an excellent first impression.
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The best time to ask is when you’ve already had a couple of minutes to talk, and you feel like the conversation has been going well so far. You should not try to ask for the number in the first 5 minutes of meeting her, and you should also avoid asking when she’s in a hurry.
The key here is to relax and stay cool so that asking for her number won’t put her off. Don’t make it a big deal.
When you are ready, just say, “I’d love to see you again. Can I have your number?” There is no need for over-complicated sentences. Be direct and polite. And, if she asks for your number, go ahead and give it out.
If she says “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m not giving my number to strangers,” don’t get embarrassed about it. And definitely don’t get belligerent or butt-hurt about it.
There are lots of girls out there who won’t give their numbers under any circumstances. Don’t worry about it. If she appears genuinely uninterested, just let her go. You will find the right girl soon enough.
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend: Do’s and Don’ts
You might have been hanging out with a girl for a while, and you are probably thinking about taking things to the next level. Admittedly, the anxiety can be nerve-wracking. Nevertheless, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Here are a few pointers when thinking about ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend:
Do: Decide if You’re Actually Ready for a Serious Relationship
Before you do anything else, think long and hard about whether you’re ready for a more serious relationship with a girl. It sounds obvious, but if you don’t know yourself well enough to have an opinion on where you want to live in five years, you might want to hold off asking a girl to be your girlfriend for now.
You don’t necessarily have to have everything figured out before you ask her, but if the only thing you can talk about is the new Halo game coming out this weekend, maybe you need to take a step back and figure yourself out first.
Successfully asking a girl to be your girlfriend is much more than just having the balls to do it. It’s also about being ready and willing for all that comes afterward.
So before we continue, think long and hard: Are you ready to take things further with this particular woman? This isn’t just about her; this is about you being sure that you’re prepared for the time and effort required in a serious relationship.
Do: Set a Date
The first thing you need for this operation is to choose the right place and time. The more you can isolate yourselves with your conversation, the better it’ll be.
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It could be a favorite mutual haunt, or something more special and intimate. And no, it’s not too cheesy to ask over dinner–though perhaps afterwards is the better move.
Do: Think of the Best Way to Ask Her
Asking a girl to be your girlfriend isn’t the time for corny pick-up lines. This is going to be a serious conversation, so you’ll have to get your words right. Here are some of the most common ways guys ask girls to be their girlfriends:
1. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Straightforward and to the point. This is a good option if you’re not comfortable with lengthy explanations or jokes.
2. “I really like you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
This works best if you already know her well and have clicked with each other. If she’s a confident girl who doesn’t mind being pursued, this is a good option.
3. “I had a great time with you, and I’d love it if we could keep seeing each other.”
This is a more roundabout way of asking her to be your girlfriend without actually saying the words. If it works for you, use it!
There are also plenty of other ways to go about asking a girl to be your girlfriend, so feel free to get creative.
Do: Be Clear About Your Intentions
Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is completely different from just getting her number or going on a few dates with her. You have to stand behind what you say and know exactly how you feel about this woman–otherwise, she’ll pick up on your insecurities and back away. She needs to know that you’re sure about this, so don’t be afraid to show her!
Don’t: Muddy the Waters with Jokes and Excessive Emotion
If you’re serious about wanting to take things further with a girl, don’t hide behind humor or get too emotional when you ask her to be your girlfriend. You want the conversation to stay light, so don’t talk about anything that will derail things. If she wants to know more about what you think after you’ve already dropped the L-word, tell her–but always keep it short and sweet.
Don’t: Make a Big Scene
There’s nothing wrong with giving her a big hug or kissing her when you ask her to be your girlfriend, but don’t go overboard. If she says yes, playfully embrace the moment and move on – there’s no need to make a scene about it. You’re not getting engaged, after all.
This is yet another opportunity to demonstrate your confidence. Don’t be arrogant, of course, but she’ll feel a lot better about having said “yes” if it doesn’t seem to come a total surprise/relief to you.
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That said, a newly minted relationship going official is certainly cause for celebration! Enjoy it together in whatever way feels most natural. Whether you go out for drinks or cue up some Netflix and chill, just make sure the focus is each other.
How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text Without Being a Creep
Let’s face it, we all know how hard it is to ask a woman out over text. Even the most confident of us get butterflies when we break out our cell phones and open that dating app. It seems like such an easy thing in theory: you see a girl you’re attracted to and ask her to do something fun.
Yet, in practice, it can be an absolute nightmare. Even if you’re good-looking and have some money, the wrong words can turn a pleasant conversation sour.
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Reading through any dating app or website’s FAQ section will tell you that there are no magic words–so all you have to do is say whatever you think will work. But, if you know some pitfalls to avoid, asking a girl out over text becomes infinitely easier.
If you’re into someone and want to ask them out, put yourself in their shoes! You wouldn’t want your potential date to be anxious about meeting up with you–so do everything you can to reduce their anxiety. You should be as suave, smooth, and confident as you are when you’re out on the town with your friends.
Hint-hint, nudge-nudge, ask if they’d like to do something fun.
Don’t be so eager to ask her out that you forget who’s in charge of this situation! If you need some help, feel free to use our foolproof tips on how to ask a girl out over text without sounding like an idiot:
Be Casual About It
Don’t say anything about the date at first – just ask if she’d like to hang out. Moreover, try to string together three sentences before you ask her out. Get a conversation going so that the asking her out bit comes out naturally.
Be Cool if She Accepts
If she agrees to hang out, tone down how eager or excited you are about your potential date by adding that it’s “nothing big” or that there’s “no pressure.”
Even if you’re feeling confident, it never hurts to add a little bit of humility when asking her out. Therefore, when you do ask her out, say something about how nervous or excited you are because she’s “such an awesome person,” etc.
Final Thoughts on Asking a Woman Out
Getting a girl to hang out with you and even become your girlfriend is not rocket science. However, it will take practice. Do not expect to nail it on your first try. You will get a few rejections. The key is not to let your failures go into your head; use them as lessons.
If you follow our tips, you will be a guru in no time. Most importantly, we cannot overemphasize the importance of self-improvement. Being a better man automatically increases your value among the womenfolk. Nonetheless, you should do it for yourself, not for women.
Also, don’t forget–it’s not about what you say but how you say it. Good luck!