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21 Questions for a New Relationship to Go from Fling to Flame

Just started a new romance? Ask these 21 questions for a new relationship with your beau to help you get to know one other deeper.

21 Questions for a New Relationship

Every relationship takes time before it really takes off. It will be very exciting in the beginning, but also a little scary and unnerving. And to tell you the truth, that’s classic new relationship energy, and it’s totally fine. 

But how do you move on from that awkward and intimidating “where should we start?” or “what do I say?” stage?

One way to start is by asking your significant the right questions.

You probably know a lot about them already, but there are still plenty of things to learn about that special person; their life, desire, hope, and aspiration. You just need to pick the best questions for a new relationship!

6 Getting-to-Know-You Questions for a New Relationship

Relationship questions are key to knowing your new person a little bit better and what makes them tick. We’ve put together a list of the perfect new relationship questions. 

1. What do you enjoy doing on a rainy day?

Rainy Day Questions to Ask

This question will tap into your person’s interests as well as their curiosities. Find out what they are really into.

Do they love challenges and adventures? Maybe, they spend a significant amount of their free time doing things you’re also interested in. Or maybe this will inspire them to share their greatest talent. 

2. If you have a million dollars to spend, what would you spend money on?

21 Questions for a New Relationship

This is a fun question. Let’s say they won the lottery while you are together. It’s awesome to know in advance how your partner would spend it.

Would they be savvy in handling the money? Greedy? Or altruistic?

3. What do you say is your biggest guilty pleasure?

Guilty Pleasure Questions for a new relationship

This could be a funny or embarrassing moment, but it would surely be an interesting conversation. Of course, you can get some good intel too.

Does your partner have a sweet tooth? Do they love terribly romantic movies or family drama?

4. What brings the most meaning to your life?

Relationship Talk of Life and Friends

This question helps you get to know your new partner better and see what they hold dear in life. Is it their family? Maybe it’s their friends or cultivating a variety of platonic relationships.

5. What do you usually do to take care of yourself?

Self Care is Important in a New Relationship

This includes their self-care routine for mind and body. Maybe they are into yoga or spending time watching comedy movies. Maybe a few good jokes can smile them up when feeling stressed. 

6. What things or adventures have you always wanted to do but haven’t yet?

21 Questions for a New Relationship Looking for Adventure

Maybe it’s something you would be interested in doing as well, and you can do it together. 

8 Thought-Provoking New Relationship Questions

Asking these new relationship questions will give you a good sense of what your potential partner really wants out of your relationship. Are they invested in it? Are they ready to commit to something long-term?

Thought Provoking Questions

When talking to your partner, don’t be afraid to ask a few questions about their last relationship. Both of you can talk about the past and learn from it to make sure this time, you stand the test of time. 

7. Are you in this for the good time or the commitment? 

The Most Important New Relationship Question

This question cuts right to the chase. It’s a key question before getting into a committed relationship. Before you invest fully in relationships, it’s always important to make sure you’re on the same page. 

Having a clearer idea of where they stand, will make a difference in how you choose to move forward with your new partner.

8. What does an ideal, healthy relationship look like from your perspective?

Talk the Talk With Clever Relationship Questions

This relationship question will give you plenty of ideas about taking and what steps to take in your relationship. Lay everything on the table. Do they consider communication a priority in a relationship? What about having them explain their deal-breakers?

9. What is your love language?

Talk the Talk With Clever Relationship Questions

It’s another most important thing to know about your new sweetheart. Knowing your beau’s love language will give you a clear idea of what specific things make them feel love the most and vice versa.

Do they appreciate out-of-the-blue romantic texts? A box of chocolates? Taking weekend getaways?

10. What is your interest going in this relationship? Goals?

Know What You Want

Asking this question to your new beau will show both of you whether your visions for your relationship align. Do they hope to settle down in five years? Or are they comfortable doing the relationship a day at a time and just seeing where things go?

11. How do you define cheating?

Understanding is Key

Have them describe what constitutes cheating in a relationship for them. Maybe your partner has been cheated on by past partners, and that’s one of their biggest fears coming to this relationship. 

And take this time to lay down some ground rules for both of you to avoid any future misunderstandings. 

12. Do you believe being self-aware helps strengthen relationships?

Self-Awareness in a relationship

The idea of self-awareness in a relationship is maintaining your own identity by being fully aware of who you are, how you’re feeling, and what role you play in your partnership. 

13. Would you tell me about the last time you cried/laughed?

Can You Show Your Emotions

This one could be a fun and emotional conversation. But it will give you plenty of insight into your new partner. What makes them tick? 

14. How do you deal with conflict?

Conflict Resolution - 21 Questions for a New Relationship

There will be misunderstandings in every relationship, which makes this an important question, especially if you’ve been in a volatile relationship before. Communication is even more important in the tough moments, to ensure any issues are properly resolved. 

7 Romantic & Deep Questions for a Serious Relationship

Talking about the future may not be a “new relationship” topic, but it will give you so much insight into how they see the future (hopefully with you in it).

Here’s just one tip – avoid planning a future together, at least not yet.

Serious Questions

You may be head over heels smitten with your person and easily get carried away, but it’s just too soon to plan your wedding and how many kids you’re going to pop by 35.  

But you can ask questions related to their future. Do they have a bucket list before settling down?

As you move into the more serious stages of a serious relationship, it’s a great chance to start talking about deeper things.

15. If you could plan the most romantic date night for us, how would you want it to be?

Are You a Romantic Person

Find out a bit of their romantic and sensual side (or if they have one at all). How would they create a romantic evening for the two of you?

Would they prefer a quiet night in or a night in town? Maybe they like surprises and fancy romantic dinners with all the works. It’s time to find out and add this matter to your list of date ideas. 

16. Could you share one secret you haven’t told me about yet?

We All Have Secrets

This could be a start of a fun conversation. But always be supportive of your partner and appreciate their willingness to open their heart to you. 

17. Should we try doing different things on special occasions?

Do You Have an Interest in Trying New Things

Romance is about keeping the spark in your relationship. And these questions will help grow your intimacy. Table these ideas for your next date nights and quality time together. 

18. What is it like for you to be around kids?

Real Couples Talk About Kids

If you don’t want to scare them off by asking if they would like to have children, ask them first how they feel about having kid energy around. 

19. What is your idea about the concept of marriage?

Marriage is a Big Discussion Topic

Questions about marriage might usually be a new-relationship convo turn-off, but it doesn’t have to be when phrased right. There are plenty of different relationship types, and this question is beneficial to know where they stand. 

Maybe discuss their family dynamics or your family, and find out how they see their future commitment, hopefully, with you. 

20. What are your thoughts about moving in together later in the relationship?

When Your Ready to Take Things to the Next Level

This one is not a question about whether they want to move in with you right now. But it will give you an insight into whether they would consider moving in together before marriage, after an engagement, or after marriage. 

21. Do you believe we make each other better people?

Couples Bring Out the Best in Each Other

Even if it’s new, if you are looking for lifelong love, you must bring out the best in each other. Asking this question to your partner will help you evaluate if you’re in a growth-oriented relationship that is highly likely to withstand tough times.

How to Ask the Best 21 Questions for a New Relationship?

Asking good questions in a new relationship is best done subtly. But what kind of questions should you be asking in the first place? How should you ask them? Because that matters a lot too!

How to Ask 21 Questions for a New Relationship

Try these few tips:

The Best Questions to Ask are Open-Ended. Choose questions that will likely lead to more interesting conversations and stories. But if you need to ask the yes-or-no type of questions, you can always ask a follow-up question to get the conversation flowing. 

Avoid bombarding your partner with all 21 Questions for a new relationship. That could be plenty to answer all in one sitting. 

Bring up questions naturally. You can play 21 questions but make sure that you ask questions that you genuinely want the answers to. Avoid asking questions just for the sake of it.

Remember that this is to make conversations and know your partner on a deeper level. 

Be open-minded. Understand that it’s likely your partner’s beliefs and life views will differ from yours. They may even have different spiritual beliefs.

Asking these questions for couples is a way to know what those are, not for judging them if your partner believes pineapple belongs on pizza. 

Final Thoughts on 21 Questions for a New Relationship

The beginning of relationships is both exciting and challenging. But asking your partner some questions can help you both prepare to take things to a deeper level.

After all, it’s only by asking the best questions you can peel back the layers bit by bit to find out your new partner’s outlook on life, relationships, their hopes, and dreams.

What are your favorite questions and discussion points for a new relationship?