When it comes to connecting with someone you’re dating, there aren’t any stupid questions. The more you ask, the better. So to help you out, we’ve compiled a list of 200 questions for couples.
Just because you’ve become a couple doesn’t mean the two of you know everything about each other. Even couples that have known each other for a lifetime find out new things about the person they love every day.
Whether it’s a recent hobby, a sensitive secret, or an unnoticed quirk, there’s always more to know about a person. Which is why it’s so important for couples to build strong communication skills. And knowing the right questions is as vital as having all the right answers.
Questions for Couples to Build Intimacy, Trust, and Affection
To help you set forth in building a healthy relationship, we’ve come up with a long list of questions for couples. Each of these questions will help get the ball rolling on communication and help you learn how to be the best partner you can be. Use this list to help navigate your new relationship or keep your long-term relationship happy and healthy.
Think of this list as a refresher course in communication. And when it comes to relationships, there’s never anything wrong with working to improve communication.
So, here are even more questions for couples to ask. For those times when you need to get a little more specific and dig a little deeper.
21 Questions for a New Relationship
Maybe you’ve just been seeing each other a short while, but it’s clear y’all have some chemistry. Why not deepen the bond with some thought-provoking questions for your new relationship?
You don’t have to like the answers you receive, necessarily. But many of these are questions you’ll wish you asked earlier if and when they come to a head down the line.
- Are you a forgiving person?
- How can someone comfort you when you’re sick?
- What’s your go-to method of treating yourself?
- When was the last time you were genuinely shocked by something?
- What was the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- Do you ever wish you took a different path in life?
- Do you want to meet my friends?
- How do your friends feel about me?
- Would it bother you if I showed up at your house uninvited?
- Do you like receiving flowers as gifts?
- Are there any foods you absolutely despise?
- Do you ever procrastinate? How can I help you stay on track?
- How can I tell when you’re upset?
- How do you describe me to other people?
- Is there something about yourself that you’re actively working on?
- Do you mind receiving help even when you don’t ask for it?
- Where’s a place that you love and want me to experience with you?
- What’s something I’ve done that made you exceptionally happy?
- Do you prefer working alone on projects or with your partner?
- Does it matter to you if your partner spends a large amount of time on social media?
- What’s something that you know irrationally upsets you but you can’t control it?
23 Relationship Questions to Ask About Your Future Together
Unless you have psychic abilities, you don’t know what the future holds. But you can always ask and find out.
When you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t feel good to always wonder where that relationship is going. Or what your partner wants for their future. So, you need to ask them and find out.
If you’re lost on where to start, don’t worry! We predicted you might need some pointers on what questions to ask in order to learn more about your future as a couple.
Hopefully, these 21 questions will help you see the future more clearly.
- Do you believe a relationship should change after marriage?
- Would you ever consider adoption?
- How would you feel about fostering children?
- What about fostering pets?
- If we got married, would you want a big wedding or an intimate ceremony?
- Should we combine our finances and assets?
- Would you ever consider being a stay at home parent if we had kids? What if your spouse wanted to fill that role instead?
- How would you discipline your child if you were a parent?
- Do you want a key to my place?
- Do you want to move in together?
- Would you rather have a city apartment, or a country house?
- If we had kids what do you think they would be like?
- If we had kids, would they go to public or private school?
- What is your dream honeymoon?
- How big of a wedding would you want?
- Would you ever elope?
- Have you ever thought about baby names before?
- Can I put you down as my emergency contact?
- Do you want to combine our phone plans?
- How would you react if I surprised you with a new pet?
- Do you think kids need a strict study schedule and extra curriculars, or should kids just be kids?
21 Questions for Couples to Ask Before Moving in Together
Before you take the plunge and cohabitate, it’s important to clear the air about a few things.
If there’s anything you can’t live with, or can’t live without, now is the time to bring it up. Find out how your partner feels about certain household duties, and boundaries.
Moving in together should be an exciting new adventure for a couple. And to help keep it a positive experience, you’ll want to have a good idea as to who you’ll be living with. You’ll also want to know how to make sure they’re happy.
Since it’s easy to overthink big life changes, we have 21 questions for couples to ask before they move in together.
- Are you someone who has a strict schedule or do you go with the flow?
- When it comes to chores around the house, how do you like to help out?
- If we move in together, should it be just us or would you want roommates?
- If you attend any house of worship, do you expect your significant other to attend as well?
- Are you the type of person that wakes up and immediately gets moving, or do you like to linger in bed with your partner?
- How do you like to get ready for bed?
- If we lived together, which one of us would be the most capable at defending our household against an intruder?
- Do you think that there’s a minimum length of time before two people move in together?
- Do you enjoy cooking?
- Are you a good cook?
- Would you want me to help you keep track of your schedule, or are you more independent than that?
- Does it matter if your partner goes to bed at the same time as you?
- How do you typically apologize when you’ve upset someone?
- Do you like to stay up late or get up early? Or both?
- Would you ever want to host parties or are you less of a host and more of a party-goer?
- How would you react if my parents showed up out of the blue?
- How would you react if you came home to my friends at our house after you’ve had a bad day at work?
- Do you believe in having set date nights or should two people just be together when it happens naturally?
- Should we do each other’s laundry or take care of our own?
- Are you open to frequently moving or are you the type of person that wants to find a place to live and grow old there?
- How supportive would you be if I wanted to change my career unexpectedly?
20 Would You Rather Questions for Couples (From Dirty, to Funny, and Flirty)
Do you ever feel like there’s a lot more you could learn about your partner? Maybe you’re stuck in your routine and the conversations rarely venture far from discussions of day to day existence. Or maybe you want to have a conversation that’s playful, not one that feels like you’re on trial.
One great way for couples to get to know one another is by asking rapid fire questions. And would you rather questions are both fast, and easy to answer. Of course, that’s likely due to there only being two answers to choose from.
So, get down to business by asking a few of these “would you rather” questions for couples. You can both be sure to learn a few new things about each other.
- Would you rather send nudes to a colleague, or your parents?
- Would you rather be blissfully ignorant, or have infinite knowledge of the universe?
- Would you rather only drink water for a year, or not drink water at all for a year?
- Would you rather be able to fly, or teleport?
- Would you rather wake up with a spider in your bed, or have a roach crawl out of your food while you’re midbite?
- Would you rather fall in love and lose your partner, or never fall in love at all?
- Would you rather have a career you despise with a happy life outside of work, or a career that makes you happy with a personal life you despise?
- Would you rather your face glow bright red whenever you were turned on, or be physically unable to initiate sex?
- Would you rather get caught masturbating by a family member, or catch a family member masturbating?
- Would you rather admit to cheating on someone with the possibility of breaking up, or have someone cheat on you and want to stay together?
- Would you rather have casual sex whenever you want it but never a relationship, or have a relationship with little to no sex life?
- Would you rather always tell the truth without anyone ever believing you, or always have to tell a lie?
- Would you rather have children but never have pets, or have pets but never have children.
- Would you rather only be able to have sex first thing in the morning, or only be able to have sex at midnight?
- Would you rather someone give you bad news gently, or would you want the harsh truth?
- Would you rather be in a long distance relationship, or break up because of the distance?
- Would you rather get matching couples tattoos with your partner, or have to wear matching outfits every time you went out?
- Would you rather rip the back of your pants right before a job interview, or spill coffee on the interviewers desk?
- Would you rather be with someone who is rude to you but always there when you need them, or be with someone who is kind but never around when you need them the most?
- Would you rather never kiss your partner until the day you got married, or never kiss your partner again once you got married?
20 Conversation Starters for Couples
Any of these questions will help open the door for further conversations, as well as give you a better idea of whom you’re dating.
Here are 40 getting-to-know-you questions for new couples.
- What is/was your favorite school subject?
- If you could have an all expenses paid trip, where would you go?
- What’s something childish you still love to do as an adult?
- What do you like to do when you’re stressed out?
- When was the last time you cried? And why?
- What do you hope will change about society in the next 10 years?
- When was the last time you saved the day?
- What’s your favorite late night snack?
- What is your favorite movie?
- Do you enjoy physical fitness?
- Do you have a spirit animal?
- When’s the last time you were really proud of yourself?
- What’s one good thing you did today?
- What’s one positive thought you had today?
- What is your favorite book?
- What’s something new you learned this week?
- Do you believe in a direct approach or would you rather someonego easy on you?
- Would you want a vacation with a full itinerary, or one where wedo absolutely nothing but relax together?
- Can you tell me about the first time you felt fully unpreparedbeing an adult?
- Would you rather have a simple life with no financial concerns,or an extravagant life that you’re always at risk of losing
17 Questions to Ask Your Significant Other About Their Past
In order to get a better idea of what’s to come, it’s important to know more about a person’s past.
All of life’s experiences make their mark on us. And whatever our past has thrown at us, it’s likely to influence our future.
Whether a person’s past is traumatic, or happy, knowing more about where someone came from will only help shed light on who they are now and who they might grow into.
Let these 17 questions for couples about the past help you learn more about your partner.
- What’s something about your past that makes you feel guilty or ashamed?
- Is there a person that was once in your life that you desperately miss?
- Have you ever turned down a major opportunity?
- What do you think your life would be like if you accepted that opportunity?
- Do you regret your decision to turn down said opportunity?
- How did you express your emotions as a child?
- How well did you do in school?
- What was your favorite childhood toy?
- Who was your childhood best friend? Did you stay in touch?
- Is there anything you’ve done in a past relationship that you wish you never did?
- What advice do you wish you heard when you were younger?
- What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
- What was the best day of your life?
- What was your favorite birthday as a kid?
- What was the best gift you’ve ever been given?
- What’s the healthiest relationship you grew up around?
- What kind of comments did your teachers write on your report cards?
12 Fun Couple Questions
Even though things might be getting serious, couples still have to have fun. Not all of the questions for couples need to be so stiff.
Laughter is the best medicine, aside from actual medicine of course. So in order to nourish your relationship and grow together, you should ask some funny questions too.
Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Let your partner know your sense of humor and get to know theirs.
Hopefully, these 11 questions will lead to some hilarious answers and funny follow-up questions.
- Did your hometown have any local lore?
- Do you leave your towels on the floor or hang them up? Be honest.
- Is there anything you’re superstitious about even though you know it isn’t real?
- Are pets allowed on the furniture?
- How much time would have to pass before you started searching for me if you just stopped hearing from me one day?
- What is your favorite outfit of mine?
- Have you ever been in a fist fight? Why?
- What’s the biggest turn off when it comes to cliché couple behavior?
- Would it upset you if I made a substantial body modification, and didn’t talk to you about it beforehand?
- Have you ever bragged about us to your friends?
- How do you feel about couple tattoos?
- Would you help me bury a body, or turn me into the police?
22 Romantic Questions for Couples to Ask About Love
View in galleryIf you’re dating someone, you want to find out what love means to them. By asking questions about their previous dating life, and personal beliefs on love, you’ll be able to get a better idea as to where your relationship is going.
But along with the heartfelt questions about love, there should be some questions about broken hearts, and betrayal. Find out if the person you’re swooning over has been hurt before, or if they’ve been the one to hurt someone else.
There’s no point in avoiding the topic of love if you’re dating. So, dive right in with 22 more questions for couples that are all about love.
- How much time do you think couples need to spend together?
- If you felt jealous of someone in my life, would you tell me?
- What is a major deal breaker for you?
- What do you consider cheating?
- Can people recover from cheating?
- How do you know when you fall in love?
- Have you ever told someone you loved them and knew you didn’t mean it?
- Have you ever stayed in a relationship with someone you were no longer in love with?
- What do you think the key to a successful relationship is?
- Did you ever think one of your past relationships was really the one?
- What do you consider flirting?
- What made you realize you wanted to be with me?
- How do you show affection?
- How do you like to be shown affection?
- What was the main reason for your last breakup?
- What were the green flags in our relationship?
- How confident are you about our relationship?
- How important are anniversaries to you?
- Does it matter to you how much you have in common with the person you’re dating?
- What do you love the most about us as a couple?
- Would it bother you if I became friends with your friends?
- When you stop seeing someone you have mutual friends with, how do you navigate the situation?
15 Deep Questions for Couples to Ask About Family
You can learn a lot about a person when you see them interact with their family. And even more about a person when you start to get to know their family better.
Whether you’ve already met the parents, or if it’s something that’s in the cards for the future, you’re going to want to ask some questions.
In order to avoid any family feuds, ask any of these 15 questions for couples about family to get up to speed on your potential in-laws.
- When can we meet each other’s families?
- Would you ever let your parents move in? Would you let mine move in?
- How should we split up the holidays?
- Did you grow up with supportive parents?
- How did your parents deal with punishment?
- Is there anything your family did growing up that you didn’t realize was abnormal until you grew up?
- Do you remember any major disputes within your family while you were growing up?
- Does it bother you when your partner talks about issues in your relationship with friends and family before they talk about it with you?
- Would you believe me if I told you your friends or family did something to hurt me?
- What’s your family’s medical history like?
- Do you like my family?
- If my family needed a place to stay, would you let them stay with us?
- If a family member asked you to loan them money, would you consult me first?
- Did you fight with your family a lot when you were younger, or did your family get along?
- How would you broach the subject of self improvement with a loved one? If you thought they should do something differently in life, how would you tell them?
21 Get to Know You Questions for Couples
What’s the point in beating around the bush? You like this person! Which means, you’re going to want to know them as well as you can.
Although it’s always good to know about the more superficial aspects of a person, in order to truly understand someone, you have to ask personal questions.
Point being, it’s great to know how to cook for someone, or what their favorite movie is. But when it comes to their inner thoughts, and personal life, you’ll have to ask deeper questions.
Therefore, we have 23 personal questions for couples to get to the heart of the matter.
- What’s something you want me to know about you that I don’t already know?
- Is there something of yours that is completely off limits to other people?
- How do you measure productivity? By quantity or by quality?
- What’s your favorite piece of advice?
- Are you open to new experiences and opinions?
- Is there anything about me that leaves you apprehensive?
- If you are wrong about something, are you able to adapt your viewpoints and learn from those mistakes?
- How do you prefer to resolve conflict?
- If I became chronically ill or unable to take care of myself would you still be there for me?
- Do you ever not tell me that something I’ve done has hurt you?
- Do you have any current outstanding debts?
- Would you want me to help bail you out of any financial dilemmas?
- What questions for couples do you think are essential to ask?
- What are your opinions on politics?
- Does it matter if your partner votes the same as you?
- Would you ever go to couples counseling?
- Do you have savings or a retirement plan?
- Would you take a bullet for me?
- What’s something unexpected that you really love?
- How do you feel when someone interrupts you when you’re concentrating on work?
- Do you appreciate someone making you laugh when you’re upset or do you prefer to let those feelings ruminate?
10 Sexual Questions for Couples
As you get closer as a couple, you’ll begin to grow more comfortable together. This means you can start breaking down any walls you may have built.
Oftentimes, sex is something that gets toned down when you first start dating. But the longer you’re together, and the more comfortable you get, the more you can open up and experiment sexually.
Aside from trying new things together in the bedroom, asking questions about sex will help you better understand what’s a no-go for your partner in bed. And that’s as important as what they enjoy.
So, check out these questions for couples about sex. And don’t be afraid to bare it all, you are a couple after all.
- Is there anything you want to try with me that you weren’t able to try with other significant others?
- Do you have any sexual fantasies?
- Have you ever used sex toys?
- Do you want to try using sex toys?
- Is sex about the entire act or simply about the climax?
- Have you ever had an embarrassing sexual experience?
- What are your opinions on non-monogamous relationships?
- If you ever got bored sexually, how would you try to spice things up?
- How much communication is required for good sex?
- Is there anything that is completely off limits for you?
Relationship Questions: Final Thoughts
When you’re asking any of these questions, don’t forget that your goal is to hear their answer. Remember to try to avoid cutting someone off while they’re speaking. And be open to hearing what they have to say.
People might not always have the same opinions, or interests as you. Sometimes those differences are what make a relationship stronger. A couple’s differences can often complement each other.
That being said, other differences are simply deal breakers. And asking these questions will help you know if your relationship is going to work. Hopefully these questions for couples help you get to know each other and avoid any unnecessary heartbreak.
What are your go-to conversation starters? Got any essential questions for couples? Leave us a comment below!